Wish Gone Wrong

Granted

I wish I was the right hand man of the supreme ruler of the universe

Granted, you become my right-hand man

I wish Ukrainians culture wouldn't forbid them to kill people standing beside eggs

Granted... but instead it forbids them to kill people standing beside large, furry, mutated turnips

I wish large, furry, mutated turnips didn't exist

Wish granted, they turn into time bombs

I wish I could slap a special person with a rotten fish and gain levels.

Granted! But your fish turns into a Impaler of +99999999999 atk and def with a time bomb atached to it

I wish for a blender

Granted but you accidentally sever your penis off

I wish time bombs only existed for my use and couldn't blow up on me

Granted, they get teleported into peoples pants whos names begin with a 'T'.

I wish I could make poison with my mind and transfer it through walrusses.

T?... T... T... T... TEABAG!!

Granted but remember, you like walrusses... don't you?

I wish turnips hadn't been invented

Granted, but... turnips have a nice smell in a bad way. But they're gone now. Poof.

I wish  wasn't a spy but rather an evil bean set on world domination.

Granted but he is still a spy... for our side

I wish Ferenn didn't like walrusses so his earlier wish could be fulfilled without any flaws

Wish granted, but one of those walruses infects you with the poison.

I wish I had a cool sign-based av like Rune and MA.

(What happened to that other av I sent you? )

Granted but you get arrested for breaking copyright laws

I wish I could wish for everything in the world and for nothing to go wrong

(oh yeah, i'll upload after this post)

Wish granted, but no one posts in this topic for a few weeks like when I wished for pretty much the same thing a month or two back.

I wish that nothing could go wrong with this wish.

Not granted... for my cat does not understand you

I wish I had a smart cat

Wish granted, but it takes over the world like those roaches in that one episode of Fairly OddParents.
I wish I had a life.

Granted but it's a bad one
I wish I could Curse people

Wish granted, but you accidentally Curse yourself.
I wish I had Cloud's motorcycle from Advent Children.

Granted but you accidentally run over your av

I wish I was an almighty cake that no-one can eat or else they die

Wish granted, but you get hungry and eat yourself, then die.
I wish I ruled the world and didn't have to do a lick of work.

Granted but you get fat doing nothing and then explode

I wish for a buzzooka

Wish granted, but you accidentally blow your self up.

I wish my mind wasn't so f***ing twisted.

I do to. But granted

I wish for a bean that shoots lasers. Like this one 

Wish granted, but it incinerates you.
I wish...   ...crap...   ... that I could think of something to wish for...

You do. You wish you were dead

I wish for 38957347347 level ups

Wish granted, but you forget your password and have to make a new account.

I wish that I had an army of ninja monkeys (don't ask why).