IRC Quotes And Chatlogs

That's been taken out of context


10:55   Pacman   i love cock.

11:27   Gracie   i will get a cat
11:27   Gracie   and it will the best fucking ever

Posting the final two stories so I don't ever have to talk about them again

Spoiler for:

(12:50:25 AM) DrSword: So
(12:50:38 AM) DrSword: I knew this girl Chelsea
(12:50:49 AM) DrSword: who actually happened to be NERDS GET WEDGIES girl's best friend
(12:50:52 AM) Pacman: i wanna hear the story of yuyubabe's first handholding
(12:51:00 AM) Anski: lol
(12:51:06 AM) DrSword: and Chelsea came over to a party of mine
(12:51:09 AM) yuyubabe: hahahaha. asshole. :0
(12:51:12 AM) DrSword: and fell asleep on the couch
(12:51:14 AM) Pacman: ;]
(12:51:20 AM) DrSword: we normally would've left her alone
(12:51:29 AM) HaloOfTheSun: that's because pacman hasn't gotten as far as handholding
(12:51:37 AM) yuyubabe: <3 halo
(12:51:51 AM) Irock: I keep reading that as hangdogging
(12:51:59 AM) DrSword: but unfortunately for her she was wearing the shortest skirt known to mankind (WE DIDNT RAPE HER)
(12:52:03 AM) Pacman: mothering explosion.
(12:52:05 AM) yuyubabe: first boyfriend in kindergarden. :0
(12:52:05 AM) DrSword: anyways
(12:52:06 AM) HaloOfTheSun: same thing
(12:52:09 AM) HaloOfTheSun: that's the black slang for it
(12:52:13 AM) DrSword: we noticed something
(12:52:27 AM) DrSword: that looked half like a number 1 from arbies
(12:52:31 AM) DrSword: and half cthulu
(12:52:42 AM) DrSword: turns out it was her vagina
(12:52:52 AM) Pacman: that was my first guess.
(12:52:53 AM) DrSword: so we got the great idea to uh
(12:52:55 AM) DrSword: add to it
(12:52:57 AM) DrSword: artisticly
(12:53:10 AM) DrSword: And a friend of mine rushed to my fridge
(12:53:18 AM) DrSword: and grabbed a bag of chicken and some hotdogs
(12:53:33 AM) DrSword: after some decorating
(12:53:43 AM) Irock: did you take a photo
(12:53:48 AM) DrSword: it looked more like a bearded pinnochio
(12:53:51 AM) DrSword: one of my friends did
(12:53:53 AM) Irock: lol
(12:53:57 AM) DrSword: Ill ask him later if he still has it
(12:54:00 AM) DrSword: it was 3 years ago
(12:54:04 AM) DrSword: anyways
(12:54:10 AM) Pacman: i probably shouldn't be reading this out loud
(12:54:10 AM) DrSword: we leave it all
(12:54:28 AM) DrSword: and she wakes up the next day and leaves before any of us wake up
(12:54:42 AM) DrSword: and she continues to talk to us like nothing ever happened
(12:54:46 AM) Pacman left the room (quit: Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client).
(12:54:47 AM) Anski: rape
(12:54:51 AM) DrSword: lol
(12:54:54 AM) DrSword: well anyways
(12:55:00 AM) DrSword: 2 days after the party
(12:55:07 AM) DrSword: she got really sick and had to go to the hospital
(12:55:12 AM) yuyubabe: he's a rapist!
(12:55:23 AM) Irock: was the meat uncooked?
(12:55:26 AM) DrSword: yes lol
(12:55:32 AM) Irock: oh my god
(12:55:35 AM) Irock: you jerks
(12:55:37 AM) Irock: you super jerks
(12:55:41 AM) DrSword: She got salmonella in her vagoo
(12:55:46 AM) DrSword: or at least from it
(12:55:48 AM) Gracie: what
(12:55:55 AM) DrSword: by removing the meat and not washing her hands or something
(12:56:04 AM) Gracie: oh god
(12:56:14 AM) DrSword: So the moral of the story kids
(12:56:31 AM) DrSword: Is if you ever wake up and your arby's combo is starting to look more like jew santa
(12:56:36 AM) DrSword: WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS
(12:56:39 AM) Anski: I think that counts as rape
(12:56:44 AM) Gracie: me too
(12:56:45 AM) yuyubabe: ^
(12:56:49 AM) Irock: I agree
(12:56:53 AM) DrSword: perhaps
(12:56:55 AM) yuyubabe: send him to jaaaaaaaail
(12:57:04 AM) DrSword: I ended up doing consensual stuff with her later
(12:57:14 AM) DrSword: She must have father issues or something
(12:57:15 AM) Gracie: oh lol nasty
(12:57:19 AM) Anski: did you get salmonella
(12:57:19 AM) DrSword: oh no
(12:57:24 AM) DrSword: I never went down there
(12:57:25 AM) DrSword: fuck that
(12:57:33 AM) Irock: oh so you're not the rapist
(12:57:34 AM) DrSword: I KNEW WHAT LAY IN WAIT
(12:57:43 AM) Anski: I sail at the mooooooooooon
(12:57:50 AM) Anski: I spoke too sooooooooooon
(12:57:55 AM) DrSword: Okay
(12:57:58 AM) DrSword: so story number 2
(12:58:03 AM) DrSword: and then I'm done for the night lol
(12:58:18 AM) yuyubabe: what is wrong with the kids at your school? haha or is that just a difference in our social groups? =P
(12:58:20 AM) Gracie: anski next
(12:58:26 AM) DrSword: Social groups I guess
(12:58:32 AM) DrSword: Ive got some crazy friends
(12:58:37 AM) DrSword: from Frisco and Plano
(12:58:41 AM) DrSword: anyways
(12:59:03 AM) DrSword: I had just got done having coitus with this girl
(12:59:17 AM) DrSword: and she never let me throw away the condoms at her house
(12:59:23 AM) DrSword: so I had to slip them in my pocket
(12:59:27 AM) DrSword: and throw them out at my place
(12:59:50 AM) DrSword: anyways on my way out the door I had my hand in my pocket to make sure it didnt fall out or anything
(1:00:04 AM) DrSword: and her father came up to shake my hand and invite me to door
(1:00:10 AM) DrSword: dinner
(1:00:11 AM) DrSword: not door
(1:00:12 AM) DrSword: lol
(1:00:24 AM) DrSword: at this point I did two STUPID things
(1:00:28 AM) Gracie: oh shit
(1:00:38 AM) Irock: ugh why would you render your right hand useless
(1:00:45 AM) DrSword: 1. I shook his hand with my condom hand, which happened to contain some of his daughter's juices
(1:00:56 AM) DrSword: 2. I accepted his invite to dinner
(1:01:01 AM) Irock: lol
(1:01:06 AM) DrSword: so halfway through the dinner
(1:01:17 AM) DrSword: he goes to drink
(1:01:20 AM) DrSword: and he smells his hand
(1:01:28 AM) DrSword: and he just sits there
(1:01:30 AM) DrSword: for a minute
(1:01:36 AM) DrSword: and then he smells his hand again
(1:01:51 AM) DrSword: and he just turns at looks at me with wide eyes and doesnt say a word
(1:02:15 AM) DrSword: I try to act nonchalant
(1:02:19 AM) DrSword: and I half smile at him
(1:02:30 AM) DrSword: and tell him how good the food was
(1:02:37 AM) DrSword: but he doesnt say anything
(1:02:41 AM) DrSword: he just keeps staring at me
(1:02:44 AM) DrSword: and his eyes are screaming
(1:02:49 AM) DrSword: "Why would you do this to me"
(1:02:49 AM) yuyubabe: this is getting good now
(1:02:50 AM) yuyubabe: xD
(1:03:14 AM) DrSword: Luckily dinner ended shortly after
(1:03:17 AM) DrSword: and I ran out
(1:03:30 AM) DrSword: From then on I only saw the girl whenever her father wasn't home
(1:03:34 AM) DrSword: Because I know he knew
(1:03:48 AM) DrSword: Later the same girl would make me chicken alfredo
(1:03:51 AM) DrSword: and you all know that story
(1:04:08 AM) Anski: I don't think I remember
(1:04:17 AM) DrSword: Well
(1:04:17 AM) Irock: I don't either
(1:04:20 AM) DrSword: it sucked
(1:04:23 AM) yuyubabe: I remember you hate alfredo
(1:04:24 AM) DrSword: and I told her it sucked
(1:04:28 AM) DrSword: so she screamed at me
(1:04:32 AM) DrSword: and I broke up with her
(1:04:35 AM) Irock: oh
(1:04:36 AM) Irock: the pasta story
(1:04:36 AM) DrSword: and returned on her birthday
(1:04:39 AM) Anski: oh yeah
(1:04:41 AM) yuyubabe: oh yeah
(1:04:43 AM) yuyubabe: lol
(1:04:50 AM) DrSword: and pooped on a card that said "happy birthday jordan! poop."
(1:05:05 AM) DrSword: and rang her doorbell and hid behind a bush
(1:05:07 AM) Gracie: i lold
(1:05:08 AM) DrSword: and laughed my ass off
(1:05:09 AM) Irock: you're a bad person
(1:05:12 AM) DrSword: I know

[17:35] <Yeyinde> What kind of damage algorithm should I use? ;o
[17:35] <Irock> yeyinde
[17:35] <Irock> health - damage
[17:35] <Irock> try that
[17:36] <Yeyinde> Hah
[17:36] <Yeyinde> What would damage be then?
[17:36] <Irock> what kind of game is it?
[17:36] <Yeyinde> An RPG
[17:37] <Irock> a random number between A and B
[17:37] <Yeyinde> How would A and B be calculated?
[17:37] <Irock> manually
[17:37] <Yeyinde> MANUALLY!
[17:38] <Irock> MANUALLY
[17:38] <Irock> YOU MANUALLY PROGRAM IT
[17:38] * DrSword busts through door
[17:38] <DrSword> HEY FELLAS WHAT'D I MISS
[17:38] <DrSword> KRAMER
[17:39] <DrSword> JERRY WANTS ME TO PROGRAM THE DAMAGE ALGORITHIM
[17:39] <DrSword> YEAH, AND?
[17:39] <DrSword> MANUALLY!
[17:39] <DrSword> MANUALLY?!
[17:39] <DrSword> MANUALLY!
[17:39] <DrSword> I DONT SEE WHAT THE BIG DEAL IS
[17:39] <DrSword> JERRY YOU CANT DO THAT MANUALLY!
[17:39] <DrSword> WHATS WRONG WITH MANUALLY?!
[17:39] <DrSword> WHAT ISNT WRONG WITH MANUALLY?
[17:40] <DrSword> Hey speaking of manual where's the guide for this program anyways?
[17:40] <DrSword> ...
[17:40] <Gracie> YOU'RE TEARING ME APART JERRY
[17:40] <DrSword> NOUMAN

(3:16:42 AM) Anski: go to bars man
(3:16:45 AM) DrSword: anski would get in a fight with Isaac Brock
(3:16:50 AM) Anski: lol
(3:17:01 AM) Anski: i'd get into a fight with him on the hopes that he wrote a song about it
(3:17:45 AM) DrSword: *Isaac_Singing_About_Anski.jpg
(3:17:57 AM) Anski: HELLO
(3:17:59 AM) Anski: YES THIS IS GUITAR

(12:56:14 AM) DrSword: So the moral of the story kids
(12:56:31 AM) DrSword: Is if you ever wake up and your arby's combo is starting to look more like jew santa
(12:56:36 AM) DrSword: WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS

You have no idea how hard I laughed at this.

(1:34:38 AM) Malcules: What gets colder as it heats?
(1:35:24 AM) HaloOfTheSun: toast
(1:35:47 AM) LongJohnSilver: this is the idiot you all worship

[02:30:09] <Irock> I wear thongs

[02:49:09] <DrSword> Rachel thinks blades are sharp
[02:49:13] <DrSword> no matter where you touch them
[02:49:31] <DrSword> so I like to take my knife out and rub it on my face
[02:49:36] <DrSword> and it scares the living shit out of her
[02:50:10] <Malson> why would she think the flat end of a knife is sharp
[02:50:12] <Malson> wait
[02:50:16] <DrSword> no like
[02:50:17] <Malson> why am i really questioning this
[02:50:22] <DrSword> if you take the blade
[02:50:26] <DrSword> and move it horizontally
[02:50:38] <DrSword> like you're carving something
[02:50:43] <DrSword> or shaving
[02:50:50] <DrSword> but not angled at all
[02:50:54] <Malson> oh
[02:50:55] <Malson> hahaha
[02:50:58] <Irock> what if you have a seizure and wind up stabbing yourself
[02:51:03] <DrSword> well that sucks
[02:51:06] <Malson> suddenly, parkinson's
[02:51:24] <DrSword> and I did just that
[02:51:26] <DrSword> right now
[02:51:28] <DrSword> because you made me laugh
[02:51:53] <DrSword> just a poke luckily
[02:51:56] <DrSword> I'm done doing that ._.

(3:22:58 AM) Irock: if memory serves Strike managed to somehow get in a fatal car accident going 5 miles per hour in GTA IV
(3:23:05 AM) Irock: then blamed it on broken controls
(3:23:24 AM) Irock: those cars handle PERFECTLY GOD DAMN FINE
(3:23:51 AM) DrSword: (3:22:58 AM) Irock: if memory serves Acolyte managed to somehow get in a fatal car accident going 5 miles per hour
(3:23:58 AM) DrSword: ...
(3:24:00 AM) Irock: lol
(3:24:12 AM) Malson: aaaaand here we have our winner for Most Successful Troll 2012
(3:24:17 AM) Malson: thanks for stopping by the RMRK Exhibit
(3:24:23 AM) Malson: gift shop is to the left
(3:24:38 AM) Irock: mayonaise is delicious

[21:48:12] <Malson> i dont know how 14 year old girls work

(6:19:19 PM) ihpihpibb [62a688f1@PSI-55571805.mibbit.com] entered the room.
(6:19:19 PM) mode (+v ihpihpibb) by ChanServ
(6:19:21 PM) ihpihpibb: hello?
(6:19:25 PM) Roph: =o
(6:19:26 PM) DrSword: no
(6:19:28 PM) ihpihpibb: im new
(6:19:32 PM) ihpihpibb: lol
(6:19:43 PM) ihpihpibb: i wanted to know something
(6:19:49 PM) Roph: 5 inches ._.

Oh roaf u so funny

[23:42:07] <Malson> why don't they use these magnets for like, watches and necklaces
[23:42:14] <Malson> to fasten them instead of clips and such
[23:42:17] <Acolyte|2> or urethra opening I guess

[22:49:23] <+Irock> The author makes cocks always look so delicious and fun to suck on even when they aren't big veiny gorgeous monsters..

<%NAMKCOR> I rape wildlife
<%NAMKCOR> ...

[01:05:12] <Irock> namkcor I don't have a puppy
[01:05:21] <NAMKCOR> you have a cat
[01:05:27] <Irock> that's not a puppy

[00:21:10] <Malson> i have an organ in my closet




[01:13:39] <Irock> I AM GAY

[00:04:30] <Irock> and then someone who shall remain anonymous randomly showed me a picture of roph's wang
[00:04:41] <HaloOfTheSun> I bet it was namkcor
[00:04:47] <NAMKCOR> wat
[00:04:50] <Irock> maybe it was
[00:04:52] <Irock> you never know!!!!!
[00:04:55] <HaloOfTheSun> quit showing people pictures of roph's wang
[00:05:09] * Rophl (~roph@PSI-6BF210E4.cable.virginmedia.com) has joined #Crankeye

Shame I lost that one

[01:07:49] <Anski> what's the stigma against sitting and taking a piss
[01:07:54] <Anski> it's not like your boner is consistently raging
[01:07:55] <yuyubabe> its okay i dont know how to describe mine either

[01:07:49] <Anski> what's the stigma against sitting and taking a piss
[01:07:54] <Anski> it's not like your boner is consistently raging
[01:07:55] <yuyubabe> its okay i dont know how to describe mine either

My context was raped.





Nothing to see here - carry on, good gents.

01:54   :: Holk   "dubstep pets, bud!" answered the palindromically-astute musical animal salesman, when asked what was selling lately.

[01:07:49] <Anski> what's the stigma against sitting and taking a piss
[01:07:54] <Anski> it's not like your boner is consistently raging
[01:07:55] <yuyubabe> its okay i dont know how to describe mine either

My context was raped.

Nothing to see here - carry on, good gents.

Well, the thread used to be called Quotes out of Context

[00:08:29] <NAMKCOR> what?
[00:08:58] <Malson> you were NAMKCOR when you joined
[00:09:01] <Malson> you're still NAMKCOR now
[00:09:21] <Malson> and i'm now to the point where i don't accidentally type NAMCKOR anymore
[00:09:25] <Holk> NAM
[00:09:33] <Irock> KCOR
[00:09:35] <Holk> Do you like Killing Floor?
[00:09:36] <HaloOfTheSun> DAH

[18:42:31] <Irock> no I'm not high
[18:42:31] <Irock> I'm straight edge
[18:42:44] <YellowPepper> You're straight? Oo
[18:42:50] <Irock> no I'm straight edge

[18:05] <yuyubabe> im back! dad already made soup
[18:05] <Malson> any hard liquor is going to have that