Wish Gone Wrong

Granted. It melts, floods your home, drowns your entire family, and then evaporates.

I wish I had the 1000th reply in this thread.




Oh hey!

Granted obviously, however that triggered a long fulfilling prophecy which brings you severe misfortune for the rest of your life...too bad

I wish for Singularity on Earth...

Granted, but the universe collapses in on itself at the former location of Earth, creating a singularity.

I wish people on the internet weren't so dumb. (Nobody here, just a statement.)

Granted. People in real life are dumb instead.


I wish my roommate wasn't here, so that I could mastu- I mean, so I could enjoy the peace and quiet. <_<

Granted, but a ninja midget barges into your room screaming weird words which you think you've never heard before. However these turn out to be declarations that your mother is actually called Steve.

I wish I was a ninja midget.

Granted. You just got smashed by a Spartan midget (Deadliest warrior reference).

I wish I could make perfect golden-brown toast.

Granted, but it gets swiped by a pirate ninja before you even have a chance to eat it.

I wish that someone would corrupt this wish.

Granted

I wish for this statement to be false

Granted, you no longer wish for that statement to be false.

I wish I had no debts.

granted, your dead

I wish my life was like a sitcom on TV

Granted. The sitcom you live in revolves around caring for schizophrenic patients at a rehab institute, and the draw to the show is that you have a schizophrenic side yourself.

I wish it was summer already.

Granted. It's summer, but it's raining so badly that you have to stay inside with no power.

I wish I could make maps for RMXP a little better. ._.

Granted, you are now an expert and your maps blow peoples minds out of the water
However given that your story-line lacks creativity and includes every possible cliché ever made or thought of...

I wish I could leave work early today...

You left early today because you were fired.
I wish no wishes.

too bad. You get three more.

I wish i had some cool shirts.

Granted, but they become translucent when machine washed.

I wish I had some bamboo to sit on my desk.

Granted, but a Ninja Panda rockets straight through the wall, swiping the Bamboo from your sight, and carries on to rocket through the opposite wall.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

She has a penis. But you can still have fun with her, right? ~_~

I wish I had a bass that tuned itself.

Granted. Now that fish sings at the local bar every Tuesday.

I wish Summer break lasted forever.

It does. But it's one of the hottest summers EVAH. The temperature slowly escalates until everyone dies of heat stroke, their bodies eventually burning.

Then the earth explodes.

Good job, Sirus 

I wish that first part didn't sound so creepy.

Never mind. I wish that Portugal. The man didn't ruin their own song in "Marching with 6" with that TAKE IT AWAY pause thing.

Because he never tells them to TAKE IT AWAY, they don't take it away. The song cannot go on.

I wish I wasn't responsible for asploding the world.

Granted, instead the Sun explodes and the black hole created sucks in everything in existence so that existence no longer exists.

I wish I could draw better.

You can, but now all you can draw are things you find horrendously appalling.

I wish I didn't get obsessed with things so easily.

Granted, but now you can't get interested in anything at all.

I WISH I WEREN'T SO AWESOME.

granted, you are now less awesome then you currently are

this statement causes an infinite loop of un-awesomeness until you implode into yourself... and no one cares or notices


I wish I was the happiest man in the world