Wish Gone Wrong

Granted, but then someone kills you.

I wish that I wished.

You did. But you made the wrong wish, thus making you lose all respect for yourself.

I wish that the next poster will be my friend <3

Granted, but I save your pictures

I wish I could turn water into a soda of my choice.

Granted, but you drink too much soda, and die of high blood pressure (or whatever happens to you when you consume too much sugar)
I wish my site was popular with people who liked it.

Granted, you gain a huge cult following... quite literally a cult is formed in your honor. You are promptly sacrificed on an alter as your fans drink your blood. After you don't do anything with your site (being dead and all) your following get's board and stops visiting. But hey, for a while there you had a pretty popular site.

I wish that after I died someone would make an RPG of my life, that everyone thought was awesome.

Granted, but the game is banned from every country in the world for having too much gay taboo.

I wish I had perfect vision.

It's too perfect. You see things - horrible things. Awful, scarring, terrible, things.

Sorry, man.

I wish dinner was NOW.

Granted. Enjoy your three course meal of DECAYING SLUGS.

I wish I had a million dollars (The classic)

You get your million dollars...unfortunately it was stolen from the Mafia, and now there out to kill you.

I wish that my 15 minute break from work was sooner...

Granted, you just finished it.

I wish it was Saturday again.

Granted. It's Saturday again. Unfortunately, you are currently diseased beyond belief, and your hands are really gross and very immobile. Like, if you get up, you'll probably die. Dun worry, you'll be better by next Saturday though

I wish there was decent food in this house ._.

Granted. Enjoy your three course meal of DECAYING SLUGS (You didn't specify what standards "decent" goes by).

I wish I could get a job.

Granted, but it's down by the docks with a guy named Ralphie "Hot Knife" Marcini. The boss decides you're not working hard enough, and has Ralphie assist you in "swimming with the fishes."

I wish it was the 14th already, so I could be on vacation. ._.

Granted, it's the 14th. But your trip is canceled due to rains.

I wish I could go down to North Carolina someday soon. ._.

Granted, but when you get there you find that it is a desolate post-nuclear wasteland and the only thing remaining is the image of death and destruction as far as your eyes can see.

I wish I wasn't hungry.

Granted. You've eaten enough snakes and insects to keep you filled for a long time to come.

I wish the person below me would make a wish that gets corrupted.

I made a wish to have a THREE COURSE MEAL OF DECAYING SLUGS. But they tasted far better than they looked.

I wish i hadn't forgotten to warm up my mug before actually putting the teabag in my tea. Because, you know, I like my tea made the way british people wanted it to be ._.

Granted, but you heated it way too much and you picked it up and your hands burst into flames and then a hobo came in and drank your tea when it cooled down again.

I wish grass cut itself.

Granted, but with this hidden power it comes for you in the middle of the night and cuts you up.

I wish my band had a decent Bassist so we could actually get something done.

granted... and you become a really big band... right after he replaces the guitarist, drummer, and singer with better ones.

I wish that this wish doesn't turn out half bad.

Granted, your wish turned out completely bad.

I wish for a wish that no wish has ever wished for itself as a wish.

Granted, but the toothfairy doesn't know what the hell you meant there. So he (yes, he. It's amazing what a multitude of meffed up wishes can do to a person) explodes violently all over you.

I wish I was a girl.

Granted, but then the doctor tells you that you have to be a boy again.

I wish no wishes.

Granted, but the accumulated filth of all your sex and murder will foam up about your waists and you will look up and shout "I wish for you to save me!"...
...and I'll look down, and whisper, "You don't have any wishes"

I wish that my wish also get's replied to by a modified quote.

Granted, but

i love having sex with my mom

I wish i could fall asleep before 6 in the morning for once.