Pledge your allegiance to the Breakfast Realm today!

Ha! You try to poison our land's good people with SUGAR! And you insult them by presenting a simple meal! Nay, vile temptress of grains, cheap prizes and communism, the egg reigns supreme in both it's versatility and nutritional content.

Zernovyye yavlyayetsya valovoy!
Vive le royaume des oeufs!

CHOLESTEROL

Ha! You try to poison our land's good people with SUGAR! And you insult them by presenting a simple meal! Nay, vile temptress of grains, cheap prizes and communism, the egg reigns supreme in both it's versatility and nutritional content.

Zernovyye yavlyayetsya valovoy!
Vive le royaume des oeufs!

CHOLESTEROL

CAFFEINE (and possibly just as much cholesterol from the creamer unless you use decaf and soy or non-fat)

Filthy rubber protein! You have nothing on the crispness of my fatherland.

Your crispiness cannot compare to the delicate crisp of my lineage. Ours is the most refined crisp in all the land.

Pah! You're all too extravagant and pompous!

The common, working man has no time for your chest beating contests! Cereal is for EVERYONE!

COMMUNISM SHALL RULE!

The divine and ever strong House of Waffle leads ahead! Bow before the crispy pattern!

I hereby declare my allegiance to Waffle House.

Also French Toast is weakest toast.  It's toast pretending it's a waffle.

Long live house Coffee (and toast)

How does it feel to know that the most expensive coffee in the world is made with poop?

That worker looks awfully sad.

And I can think of several reasons why he would be.

Viva la folgers!

It's because he's harvesting poop coffee when he could be making waffles.

Screw this, I'm hitching up the caravan.

Cereal has more variety than any of your petty partisan snacks!

Cereal has more variety than any of your petty partisan snacks!

The first dry cereal was created by a fundamentalist who wanted to create a food so bland it could not possibly be sinful.

The first dry cereal was created by a fundamentalist who wanted to create a food so bland it could not possibly be sinful.

At least we did not eat food once imprinted with the crucifixion scene! How grotesque!

Fools! Waffle has no error of history. It has been ever delicious.

Ever delicious with a DEAD GUY imprinted on it!

You mistake my kingdom for the original traitors, toast.

It is not our fault that the holy house of Toast-Coffee was the one chosen by the divine. Though I can hardly blame him for wanting the best breakfast to house his visage.

Ever delicious with a DEAD GUY imprinted on it!

You mean like all of those mexicans that buy toasters that make jesus show up on their toast?

I dare any of you to claim you don't want Lucky Charms right fucking now. That's right, you all do.

You mean sugar marshmallows and tooth shrapnel? No thanks.

I dare any of you to claim you don't want Lucky Charms right fucking now. That's right, you all do.

This man knows what he's talking about! He has a CHILDHOOD.

You mean sugar marshmallows and tooth shrapnel? No thanks.

That pales in comparison to your tooth-melting syrup. Bwah hah hah!