Pledge your allegiance to the Breakfast Realm today!

[Sophist]

Hail citizens!

The War of the Breakfast Realm has begun!

War is on the horizon, and all citizens of thine RMRK must take up arms! Swear to your house of Breakfast, or be labeled a traitor to your kingdom!

Camps will be set up for the largest of the kingdoms, and we will prepare for war! From now until the end of the month, in celebration of the food and harvest, all citizens are hereby ordered to take up arms and delegate themselves to a house of the Breakfast Realm. Many of you may perish in the name of your nation, but you will always be remembered as the soldier who bravely stood for their kingdom!

Insults will be spewed!

All nations of breakfast food will be forever out of your diet, out of sheer hatred!

The seers have long foretold of war, and war is coming! By the end of the month, the most populous banner house will rise in victory! To ensign, reply to this post with the Kingdom of your choosing! From then, you will be forever labeled upon this ancient post, so that your ancestors will remember of your great allegiance. The Lords and Ladies of the Kingdom will henceforth change your titles or add Knight in front of your name!

Enlist today, for the good of your land!

The Kingdom that proves victorious by acquiring the most members will win it's lieges awards,
as will the most vocal opponent Kingdom! Huzzah!


Kingdoms:
House Waffle
"The Iron of the Realm."

• Sophist, the Breakfast Knight
• HaloOfTheSun, the Blind Waffle Knight
• UltimaZix, Waffle Knight of the Prophet
• NAMCKOR, die Waffle Waffe

House Eggs
"Always Fried, Never Scrambled."

• EvilM00s, Knight Marshall of the Order of L'Ouvre du Coq

House Pancakes and Bacon
"The Softest and Crunchiest."

• Dr. Mc, President Obama of the American Breakfast
• IAMFORTE, Bacon Legionnaire

House Cereal
"Deliverance and Deliciousness."

• Yuyubabe, Soviet Premier of Cereal
• Lord Eddard Stark, Warden of the Milky North

House Toast-Coffee
"The Fair House of the Realm."

• Acolyte, H.R.H. Strauberi Stoufd Toast d'Francoise
• Strike_Reyhi, Holy Ordered Knight of Coffee
• bluntsword, Sworn Knight de la Caffeine

All citizens are encouraged to participate! Refrain from changing your usual name, you wish to fight on your battlefield with honor! You may begin posting, and soon camps and banners will be flying the kingdom!

Enlist today!

[/list]

[Irock]

hitler

[yuyu!]

hitler is tasty

but stalin is better

[yuyu!]

[Irock]

nein
am hitler
a+ kay-o
stalin hässlich rasen

[yuyu!]

Hitler vonyuchiye golovy

[yuyu!]

Stalin podderzhivayet zernovykh dlya zavtraka


edit: that means Joseph Stalin hereby supports cereal.

[Dr. Mc]

I am Barack Obama, and I support the right to eat pancakes and bacon for breakfast.

[&&&&&&&&&&&&&]

I care not for your petty war. The Starks will stay within the walls of Winterfell, and watch as you slaughter each other for your inane reasons. It is the will of the old gods, and the new.

[EvilM00s]

SUNNY SIDE UP FOR VICTORY!

I, EvilM00s, newly created Knight Marshall of the Order of L'Ouvre du Coq, ride forth hoisting the banner of the Kingdom of Egg! Come, my friends, come out of your shells and usher in a new era of morning meals!

FOR BREAKFAST!

[Acolyte]

H.R.H. Strauberi Stoufd Toast d'Francoise of the Fair house of Toast-Coffee.

[Sophist]

Herald, all Breakfast Citizens! All five houses now have at least one liege banner!

Camps will be erected in the name of your house henceforth!
All enemy houses are now your sworn opponents! Lay waste!

[&&&&&&&&&&&&&]

[Dr. Mc]

[Dwarra?]

I WILL EAT ALL OF YOU

[strike]

sure okay.

[Irock]

join team hitler

we put the "it" back in hitler

frühstück ist dumm, genossen

[yuyu!]

Breakfast is not stupid!

vy glupy !

[&&&&&&&&&&&&&]

I can no longer stand by and watch as this war wages at my doorstep. The Stark armies are at the disposal of the cereal kingdom. I pledge my allegiance to you.

[IAMFORTE]

I pledge allegiance to the House of Pancakes and Bacon, because Bacon

[Sophist]

You have all been sworn under the banners of your houses!

[yuyu!]

I can no longer stand by and watch as this war wages at my doorstep. The Stark armies are at the disposal of the cereal kingdom. I pledge my allegiance to you.

I am honored to have you as my loyal soviet rytsar (knight)

please, have a taste of some vkusnyy (tasty) cereal

[Dr. Mc]

I pledge allegiance to the House of Pancakes and Bacon, because Bacon

[yuyu!]

Nay! Cereal is the best, and here's 5 reasons why:

1. It's quick to prepare
2. It's easy to prepare - even the most inept can enjoy this breakfast
3. It has low requirements - just add milk!
4. It comes in many shapes, sizes, colors and flavors!
5. It's mutable!

[spoiler=examples]Cereal bars?


Or cereal cookies, perhaps?


Cake decorations!
[/spoiler]

[EvilM00s]

Ha! You try to poison our land's good people with SUGAR! And you insult them by presenting a simple meal! Nay, vile temptress of grains, cheap prizes and communism, the egg reigns supreme in both it's versatility and nutritional content.

Zernovyye yavlyayetsya valovoy!
Vive le royaume des oeufs!

[strike]

Ha! You try to poison our land's good people with SUGAR! And you insult them by presenting a simple meal! Nay, vile temptress of grains, cheap prizes and communism, the egg reigns supreme in both it's versatility and nutritional content.

Zernovyye yavlyayetsya valovoy!
Vive le royaume des oeufs!

CHOLESTEROL

[EvilM00s]

Ha! You try to poison our land's good people with SUGAR! And you insult them by presenting a simple meal! Nay, vile temptress of grains, cheap prizes and communism, the egg reigns supreme in both it's versatility and nutritional content.

Zernovyye yavlyayetsya valovoy!
Vive le royaume des oeufs!

CHOLESTEROL

CAFFEINE (and possibly just as much cholesterol from the creamer unless you use decaf and soy or non-fat)

[Sophist]

Filthy rubber protein! You have nothing on the crispness of my fatherland.

[Acolyte]

Your crispiness cannot compare to the delicate crisp of my lineage. Ours is the most refined crisp in all the land.

[yuyu!]

Pah! You're all too extravagant and pompous!

The common, working man has no time for your chest beating contests! Cereal is for EVERYONE!

COMMUNISM SHALL RULE!

[Sophist]

The divine and ever strong House of Waffle leads ahead! Bow before the crispy pattern!

[tSwitch]

I hereby declare my allegiance to Waffle House.

Also French Toast is weakest toast.  It's toast pretending it's a waffle.

[tSwitch]

[tSwitch]

[bluntsword]

Long live house Coffee (and toast)

[tSwitch]

How does it feel to know that the most expensive coffee in the world is made with poop?

[bluntsword]

That worker looks awfully sad.

And I can think of several reasons why he would be.

Viva la folgers!

[tSwitch]

It's because he's harvesting poop coffee when he could be making waffles.

[Moss.]

Screw this, I'm hitching up the caravan.

[yuyu!]

Cereal has more variety than any of your petty partisan snacks!

[tSwitch]

Cereal has more variety than any of your petty partisan snacks!

The first dry cereal was created by a fundamentalist who wanted to create a food so bland it could not possibly be sinful.

[yuyu!]

The first dry cereal was created by a fundamentalist who wanted to create a food so bland it could not possibly be sinful.

At least we did not eat food once imprinted with the crucifixion scene! How grotesque!

[Sophist]

Fools! Waffle has no error of history. It has been ever delicious.

[yuyu!]

Ever delicious with a DEAD GUY imprinted on it!

[Sophist]

You mistake my kingdom for the original traitors, toast.

[Acolyte]

It is not our fault that the holy house of Toast-Coffee was the one chosen by the divine. Though I can hardly blame him for wanting the best breakfast to house his visage.

[tSwitch]

Ever delicious with a DEAD GUY imprinted on it!

You mean like all of those mexicans that buy toasters that make jesus show up on their toast?

[pacdiggity]

I dare any of you to claim you don't want Lucky Charms right fucking now. That's right, you all do.

[Sophist]

You mean sugar marshmallows and tooth shrapnel? No thanks.

[yuyu!]

I dare any of you to claim you don't want Lucky Charms right fucking now. That's right, you all do.

This man knows what he's talking about! He has a CHILDHOOD.

You mean sugar marshmallows and tooth shrapnel? No thanks.

That pales in comparison to your tooth-melting syrup. Bwah hah hah!

[pacdiggity]

You mean sugar marshmallows and tooth shrapnel? No thanks.

Is it hard to type when your fingers are coated in syrup?

[Sophist]

Do you eat your cereal with your fingers?

The answer is probably yes, because you're a filthy cerealic era barbarian. Get with the iron!

[pacdiggity]

Do you go to sleep with your face and hands on?

[bluntsword]

While all of you are still trying to recover from the debilitating disorder
You call "sleep," the kingdom of coffee will be up for hours on end plotting your demise in a jittery and caffeine altered state.

Fools! You death will be swift and caffeine free!

[tSwitch]

I dare any of you to claim you don't want Lucky Charms right fucking now. That's right, you all do.

This man knows what he's talking about! He has a CHILDHOOD.

You mean sugar marshmallows and tooth shrapnel? No thanks.

That pales in comparison to your tooth-melting syrup. Bwah hah hah!

Waffles are versatile.  They can be outfitted with any number of healthy toppings.

[tSwitch]

While all of you are still trying to recover from the debilitating disorder
You call "sleep," the kingdom of coffee will be up for hours on end plotting your demise in a jittery and caffeine altered state.

Fools! You death will be swift and caffeine free!

Caffeine is an addiction.

[yuyu!]

Waffles are versatile.  They can be outfitted with any number of healthy toppings.

You know what's even more versatile than waffles?

CEREAL.

[bluntsword]

While all of you are still trying to recover from the debilitating disorder
You call "sleep," the kingdom of coffee will be up for hours on end plotting your demise in a jittery and caffeine altered state.

Fools! You death will be swift and caffeine free!

Caffeine is an addiction.

Noted.

I NEED MORRRRE!

[EvilM00s]

You who call yourselves communists... you fail to realize the egg IS the realisation of society's workers cooperating! We feed the chickens, they feed us and in doing so become our object of affection- but neither could exist without the other!

And you, coffee man! Without your feces-beans, what are you? ASLEEP! With your feces-beans, what are you? FULL OF POOP!

I see no one else has realised the glory of Eggs... I shall then stand alone if I must!

[Dr. Mc]

but neither could exist without the other!

Lies! We still have bacon, and with pancakes no less! Your lower class commoners could never understand the importance of bacon AND pancakes. Simpletons.

[EvilM00s]

And YOU fail to understand that EGGS are essential to the creation of all that the WAFFLE and PANCAKE kingdoms hold dear!

Chickens, we go on strike tonight! MWAHAHAHA!

[Dr. Mc]

I dont need your chickens anyway! I have an army of pigs at my disposal! Your puny chickens are NOTHING!

[EvilM00s]

And with those words doth the pancake house fall! We shall meet you outside the royal coop walls for battle!

*readys eggapult*

[Dr. Mc]

You shall fall Chicken King!

*Readies the pigs with steel armor*

[EvilM00s]

Don all the armour you wish! These eggs are... Hard Boiled.

[&&&&&&&&&&&&&]

I'm glad we never met on the field, Ser EvilMoos. As is my waifu. I don't think the widofu's life would suit her.

[Dr. Mc]

Dont forget my hot Syrup! I shall drench your nation!

[tSwitch]

And YOU fail to understand that EGGS are essential to the creation of all that the WAFFLE and PANCAKE kingdoms hold dear!

Chickens, we go on strike tonight! MWAHAHAHA!

> implying Egg kingdom controls the entire chicken trade
> implying House Waffle doesn't have its own private coops hatched from imported Eggs in case of emergency


Just because you worship a small part of a greater whole does not make you superior in any way.

You are an ingredient, not a meal.

[Sophist]

We have simply taken the inferior breakfast and made it perfect.

[EvilM00s]

Well played, my crunchy foes, well played.

Very well, I retreat for a strategic rally... for now.

[pacdiggity]

Well played, my crunchy foes, well played.

Very well, I retreat for a strategic rally... for now.

How fitting for a knight to back out of such a situation, the cowardice reminiscent of the chickens from whose cloaca you feast.

Eww.

[Irock]

waffelhaus

[EvilM00s]

Well played, my crunchy foes, well played.

Very well, I retreat for a strategic rally... for now.

How fitting for a knight to back out of such a situation, the cowardice reminiscent of the chickens from whose cloaca you feast.

Eww.

Silence! Peasant, ye who refuse to even fight! Rekindle your war-spirit, my yolky host, and before we go on to deprive waffle-lovers of syrup AND hot irons, we shall invade Australia! Let them drink bleach! Next shall the Cereal Bolsheviks spill their milk upon the field of combat! Finally we shall move on to the capitalist regime of the Pancake People, and their false fluffy buttermilk paradise shall fall flat!

Sunny side up, men! Onward to victory!

[tSwitch]

You should be more cautious, Egg.  You are an ingredient in two of the three empires you seek to overthrow.  You are only where you are today because of demand for your namesake, but should you attack us, we will withdraw our trade agreements.

[EvilM00s]

Do so, and it will be only your Kingdgoms that suffer! Without my citizens you are NOTHING, but we are sufficient unto ourselves, and we cook in under a minute!

[Acolyte]

The Toast-Coffee kingdom has allied itself with the Kingdom of Egg. With our cunning and their might, we shall be victorious together.

[&&&&&&&&&&&&&]

My pretend internet Husbando and I are getting married. We fomaly invite Toast-Coffee and Eggs kingdom to the wedding.

[spoiler][/sploier]

[Sophist]

You are no longer friends with the Toast-Coffee Empire! Culture has decreased across the empire.

[tSwitch]

Do so, and it will be only your Kingdgoms that suffer! Without my citizens you are NOTHING, but we are sufficient unto ourselves, and we cook in under a minute!

I reiterate from earlier.


> implying House Waffle doesn't have its own private coops hatched from imported Eggs in case of emergency


Your citizens are but side dishes.  INGREDIENTS.

[EvilM00s]

Your carefully guarded "private coops" and "ingredients" are my soldiers and their weapons! ALL OF THEM! You have been infiltrated!

I am honored beyond words to accept the defense of Her Most Royal Majesty, whose entourage I shall personally guard with over 3,000 of my featheriest knightesses at all times.
They've all had coffee. You have been warned.

Vive les Royauxes Ouvre du Coq et Tostes D'Francoise!

[Acolyte]

[tSwitch]

Your carefully guarded "private coops" and "ingredients" are my soldiers and their weapons! ALL OF THEM! You have been infiltrated!

Hahahaha...you're a funny one.  Our chickens have been systematically bred for years behind your back.  They know nothing of the outside world.  The original generation of chickens is long since dead.

Our chickens know only loyalty.  They live to create the waffles of the future.  Dedicated to a stronger and greater whole.  They give of themselves and live comfortably within our coops.

[EvilM00s]

Our chickens know only loyalty. 

Yes. TO ME! I hope you enjoy the taste of Salmonella!

[tSwitch]

We pasteurize our eggs.

[EvilM00s]

We pasteurize our eggs.

PERVERTS!

[&&&&&&&&&&&&&]

Why doesn't anybody want to come to my wedding? :sadface:

[tSwitch]

We pasteurize our eggs.

PERVERTS!

You're simply injured in your nethers because you realize that pasteurized eggs are safe from salmonella.  Even if the cluckers were under your sway, you have no way of using them.

Unless of course you want to know how the walls of their coops look.

[haloOfTheSun]

Shut up, boe

[Sophist]

The noble house of Waffle has declared an offer for a treaty of cooperation between ourselves and the house of Pancakes and Bacon, so that we might crush the folly of the Egg Kingdom and the 30-minute-later poop fest that is Toast-Coffee.

[yuyu!]

I'll attend your wedding, boe.



Everyone is building alliances. House cereal is confused and somewhat delighted.

[Dr. Mc]

The noble house of Waffle has declared an offer for a treaty of cooperation between ourselves and the house of Pancakes and Bacon, so that we might crush the folly of the Egg Kingdom and the 30-minute-later poop fest that is Toast-Coffee.

We will be unstoppable!

[tSwitch]

I had waffles for breakfast.