[Writing] "I Heard A Voice" (Short Scene by B.Williford)

Ok, so this is my next scene.
I chose Mystery as the theme this time.
Hopefully that goes well. :3

AND... This one takes places BETWEEN "Your Eyes Gave It Away" and "You Threatened Her..." scenes.
In fact, this one directly is in front of "You Threatened Her...", so just use your imagination and you have a major piece of the big puzzle! :3

I will apologize ahead of time!
Seems I have gone waaaay over on the word count this time, very very sorry. XD
Word Count: 3,622

Looks daunting now, even to me, after the 2k stuff I've done.
This took a lot of looking over, too, and I edited a lot of myself along the way... 

SO... Forgive me if you can.
Aaaaaaaand, enjoy it! XD

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"I Heard A Voice"

Theme: Mystery

Morton City...
Downtown Streets...
Night...




"You can let go now, you know?"
"Oh... Sorry."


The teenage girl drew off his arm, folding her own around her, and walked slowly beside him as she continued to glance around a bit nervously as they strolled past several window shops.
He raised his arms, stretched, and kept them behind his head as he walked on casually next to her. However, his eyes never once came off her. He smiled teasingly just as she looked over at him.
"Relax. You're all tense."
She frowned slightly.
"S-Sorry... It's just-"

Titanium, lowering his arms, gaze setting more seriously on her, stopped there on the sidewalk.
Mevi stopped, too, taking a deep breath. She looked at him so timidly for a moment before she finally found her smile.
"Do you believe in ghosts, Titanium?", she asks softly, glancing around the dark streets.
The Dark Angel almost laughed.
Almost.
It wasn't because he thought that was ridiculous, however.
"Do I? To an ordinary human on this Earth, I would be almost considered one myself...", Titanium answers, smiling with his teeth showing. "Spirits come in many shapes and forms. Truthfully, I've never seen a ghost - as ghosts don't show themselves unless they want to be seen, and I KNOW no one really wants to meet me, dead or alive."

Mevi choked with eyes wide, spurting giggles at that.
"That's awful! Don't say that!", she laughs, shaking her head to scold him playfully. "I like you plenty! Besides, I feel much safer with you around..."
Titanium stared at her. He suddenly felt that odd flutter again in his chest, and this time he actively wondered just what that meant. Before his silence became awkward, however, he nodded to her.
"Does that mean you saw a ghost, and I'm now playing bodyguard?", the Dark Angel asks curiously, green eyes glinting at her.
Mevi bit her lip, embarrassed.
"If I say yes... Will you think I'm crazy?"
He did briefly laugh this time.
"Sure I will, but doesn't mean I'm not crazy myself."
Again, she giggled.

Suddenly...
There was a fell wind that picked up and breezed through the streets, cold and numbing despite the summer season. The chill rushed over them, with a groaning sound whispering in the air.
A name.
"Mevi....."


The young girl then yelped, the eerie voice on the wind sending her into Titanium's embrace.
The Dark Angel looked down at her, holding her shaking frame, and then looked around suspiciously.
"Not my imagination? Good. I was worried for moment..."
She gently let go.
"I-I heard a voice. It was calling my name..."
Titanium then narrowed his eyes. He felt something vaguely familiar nearby, but he couldn't place it. Whatever it was, it must have been from a long time ago.
"I think we should check it out", the Dark Angel replies, all seriousness in his tone.
Mevi darted her face up at him, frightened by that suggestion.
"A-Are you sure? You really want to follow the voice??"
"Yes. If you feel up to it", came his immediate answer.
She swallowed, then took his hand.
"O-Ok... This way..."


She took the lead as they crossed the street safely, following the chill that slipped between several alleyways and buildings that lead outward heading south to the city outskirts. As they navigated through the remaining areas of civilization, they both realized they would soon reach the desert that stretched for miles in that direction. There was nothing out there but sand and dust.

Still, the voice called on the wind.
"Mevi....."





Outskirts of Morton City...
The Desert Stretch...



The sands at night grew colder as the two ventured further from the city.
Mevi wrapped herself in her arms as she kept following what beckoned to her. She had her fears, but made no complaints as they trekked onward.
Titanium noticed as the young girl huddled up in her own embrace. He smiled at her efforts, which forced him to remember several memories from long ago past.
As he continued to look at her, he was very much unaware of his own self as suddenly his black uniform of choice flashed back into existence over his body. A nice addition was his elusive pitch wings as well.
Instinctively, the Dark Angel then undid the stud off his cape and brought Mevi closer with his arm, bundling her up in the cimmerian fabric.
Mevi looked up at him, smiling fondly of this.
"Thank you... I was getting cold."
He smiled back, and then quickly returned his vision to the distance before them.
Eye contact with her was becoming strange for him, for whatever reason. Not only that, but there was something odd about where they were going.
It seemed familiar.
"Don't mention it...", Titanium replies, taking a breath after to soothe any tightness in his chest.
The teenager finally removed her gaze, still smiling, still walking, and still felt safe with him next to her.


Suddenly, they both came to a stop.
The moonlight had set just right, they could now see ahead in the distance a strange gathering of broken stone ruins.

Mevi gasped, astonished, frosty eyes twinkling with curiosity.
"There... That's where the voice must want me to go", she says, taking a few steps forward, drawn in by her interest.
The Dark Angel reached out, grasped her tightly by the arm.
The girl looked back sharply in obvious pain, flinching.
"H-Hey! What are you-"
"Don't, Mevi...", Titanium speaks, eyes now looking into her, his concerns unclear, with a voice almost dark.
He didn't let go, grip unyielding.
Mevi drew back to clasp his hand gently with hers. She could see that there was some amount of fear or worry in him.
The girl looked at the ruins momentarily, then back to him questioningly.
"Titanium... Do you know where we are?"
The Prince of Darkness looked beyond her, stared at the stones ahead, then closed his glowing eyes.
"Yes. I've been here before", he answers.
"Is there something you don't want me to see??"
Titanium opened his eyes again to gaze at her, slowly releasing her arm, swallowing down any suppressed feelings.
"Possibly."

Mevi smiled warmly at him, shaking her head, staring so deeply into the eyes of the Dark Angel, fearlessly seeing into green that all other existence dreaded.
"You're worried. I can see that", she says gently. "But that voice won't stop calling unless we go check things out."
She now teasingly grinned.
"This was your idea to come here. So, you'll come with me, right?"
Her bright, sapphire eyes softened, dazzling beautifully in the moonlight.
"You'll...protect me... No matter what, right??"
Titanium stiffened, eyes going out of focus on her face, her voice echoing over and over in his head, and his heart beating softly in his chest.
He flinched, waking himself up.
"Yes. Yes, of course."
He smiled at her now intensely.
"I won't let anything happen to you - I promise."
Mevi nodded, taking his hand.
"Then let's go!"     



The Desert Stretch...
Broken Ruin Site...
An hour later...



"Mevi..."



The young girl climbed up onto a few broken stones and sand dunes until she was standing in the middle of the ruined structure that had been left lonely out here in the desert wilderness for ages upon ages. Tall pillars that once held a mighty fortress strong still reached high above her into an empty night sky. The walls of this mysterious place had all been forgotten, somewhere lost under the sands by now. However, there was a stretch of stone floor that remained uncovered that revealed a dais, depicting that this was supposed to be the first floor foyer of something incredible.
A lost empire.
The Dark Angel calmly walked into the center with her, certain now where they were, and remembering things of long times past. Times even he did not wish to remember.
"This is beautiful...", Mevi gasps, kneeling now to trace the intricate designs on the flooring.
Titanium felt his chest tighten, eyes scanning over the tiles and stones until he was gazing at a hideous blood stain.
He narrowed his orbs in anxiety at this.
"Yes... Quite."

She looked up at him now from her discovered drawing. She immediately noticed his stare and followed his point of interest to set sights on the ghoulish stain that cried out to her. The girl stayed quiet as she calmly got up and walked over to touch the area of dried blood that had been there for seemingly forever.
She bit her lip, sensing in her hand an array of chaos.
Pain. Agony. Death.
And, perhaps the most terrible of all...
Betrayal.
She then turned to him, realizing something else entirely.
"Titanium... I don't hear the voice anymore."
The prince came out of his daze, and sighed.
"I know."
Mevi seemed confused.


And then...
"Mevi..."


The teenager gasped, spinning around, now coming to stare frozen into the face of a spirit that appeared before her. The ghost was quite clearly a woman, garbed in tattered robes that was once dyed in majestic purple. Her deathly hue lit her skin pale blue, with never ending tears flowing from her forlorn face. A lantern was lifted in her hand, a green flame dancing over the remnants of her stone resting place.
Mevi drifted away until her back was pressing against the chest of Titanium.
The Dark Angel slowly drew his sword from behind the girl, his fangs and claws extending, too.
The banshee looked so solemn now.
"Child... Ever since your untimely arrival to this world, you could always hear me call...", the spirit speaks, voice lamenting out over the sands, hands stretching out with serenity. "Thank you for coming. I have much to say if you will listen..."
Mevi was shaking, but the grace of the banshee before her eventually won her trust. She nodded as she stepped closer to the ghost, taking a breath. The girl also looked back at Titanium to follow her, and she noticed right away his uneasiness even now.
Even so, she turned to the apparition.
"I'm ready. Tell me everything..."     


The wraith nodded.
The winds suddenly picked up again as her deathly display faded into that of a beautiful woman with dark flowing hair, verdant colored eyes, and a pair of ashen feathered wings that unfurled wide behind her. Her disgusting pale skin became a vibrant ivory, and her tattered robes into an elegant gown riddled with plum lace and silk. However, the shade was pressing firmly against her torso to hold her broken body in place. She had died tragically in life, her body split evenly in two. Blood easily seeped through the gaps in her hands.
Mevi looked at her more closely in the eyes and face, and somehow she seemed familiar.
But why?

The specter then drew closer to the young girl, treading lightly over the stone flooring. Her broken body moved gracefully, creating the illusion that she was still intact as she strode along.
"Mevi... You stand in the center of a place long forgotten, as I have been", the woman speaks, eyes scanning over the sundered rocks of the structure. "It was called the Empire of Earth... And it was wonderful."
She looked out over the ruins, now smiling through her waves of sorrow.
"This tower was used for both good and evil in its time. Eventually it was toppled by forces greater than both you and I."
She returned her gaze to Mevi, but only for a moment. Her stare found its way to the eyes of the Dark Angel that stood poised for attack behind the human girl.
"One such force being the very power that stands just at your back..."

Mevi narrowed her eyes, and then turned slowly to Titanium with a questioning display.
The prince was tense, body positioned to thrust his blade at any given moment, threatening gaze locked tightly in that of the banshee's equally green orbs.
The girl then gasped quietly, realizing now that the appearance of the ghostly woman was strangely close to his features.
"Titanium... What is she saying? How does she know you??", Mevi asks, more than just those questions racing in her brain, trying to understand everything given to her.
The Dark Angel pulled his attention to the human, drawing a step back, inwardly all his feelings of both past and present swirling inside his core.
He swallowed.
"Do you honestly care to know?", Titanium counters defensively. "Will it change anything? Are you one to push aside the things of the past, or are you reminded of the past each time you look them in the eye?"
Mevi shook her head, unsure.
"Does it matter?"
He tightened his jaw, setting a glare on the spirit.
"It does to most..."


The mournful woman now suddenly smiled, a smile that dared to taunt the creature before her.
"This is hardly believable, Titanium... The mask you are wearing for this poor girl", she spoke with the sharp edge of a knife, cutting through him. "You are responsible for the events that lead to my death. It was by your hand that I was murdered here in my own throne room!"
His eyes fixed on her.
"Do not act like you care for this child... You will only devour her soul as you did to thousands, as you did to your long lost love ages past-..."
Titanium now came closer, blade ready.
"Don't...", he snarls, eyes glowing brilliantly.
She then flashed her eyes back with a glowing glare.
"--As you did to ME!"

Mevi backed away now, fearful suddenly as their voices exchanged with such heated tension.
 
The spirit then broke into tears, clutching her face with her claws.
"Why? How could you do this to me?!"
The prince bared his fangs at the woman.
"Enough! I will send you back t--!"
"What did I do to deserve my only son's hatred?!"

Mevi froze.
What did she just say?

Just as Titanium was about to lunge forward with his sword, the banshee let out a wail that sent him and the girl to their knees, completely immobilized by the terror. 
The spirit saw it fit to flee, fading with the light of her lantern.
She whispered on the wind once last time, leaving them with her finishing message.
"Mevi... He will consume you..."
     

The gales soon stilled, and the sands came to a rest.
All the air became silent in this moment.
Just like Mevi.

The young girl slowly stood, brushing the sand off her limbs, shaking it out of her hair, and then looked down on the dark man that remained knelt beside her.
Titanium slowly raised his eyes to look into hers, to stare deeply into brilliant sapphire that was now shattering from the tears that gathered.
His own eyes dimmed to a dull emerald.
She was silent.
He didn't dare break her concentration, her search through his gaze to find any redeeming qualities, to look through the lies to find truth still there.
She started shaking, her bare shoulders flinching, but not from the obvious chill in the desert night.
There was a building of fear.
She observed his real self: the wings, the claws, the fangs, his dark attire.
Everything.
And she had seen it all before, but now...
It was like she was truly seeing it for the first time.

The Dark Angel finally rose to his feet, eyes never looking away from hers, conscious of his movement to go slowly, to not threaten her, to be as she had seen him all along, all this time.
Mevi shivered, lips pressed together to contain her feelings, a few drops trickling down her face despite her efforts.
He displayed concern.
"Mevi...", Titanium started, ending the silence briefly, but found himself only quieted by her sadness, her hurt for his deception.
His chest felt strange.
Crushing.
He could barely breathe. There was something unsettled in his heart, the core heavy and jagged.
Pain.
He withdrew his eyes as he winced, hand involuntarily finding itself digging into the cloth and flesh beneath over his ribcage.

The girl now took a step back, creating distance between them, the distance she felt lengthening in her own heart.
"Y-You killed..your own m-mother...?", Mevi manages, choking on her words, more tears pouring from her eyes, breaths abrupt and wisping. "You n-never were going...to tell me that, w-were you??"
The Dark Angel forced himself to look at her, but saw a shining of anger there dazzling in her misty orbs.
She pressed on as best as she could.
"And w-what she said? Tell me...the truth. I want to hear it from you. Even if--"
She swallowed the pain.
"Even i-if it hurts. Please, Titanium..."

The Dark Angel narrowed his eyes from the crushing sensation inside, quickly realizing that was in fact her pain that was causing his own.
It was strange...
Even still, he took an uneasy breath, swallowing.
"The truth? The truth is my tongue rarely even speaks the truth", Titanium answers, tone emotionless as he spoke, yet the turmoil within continuing without end.
Mevi looked grim at this.
He tried again.
"The truth is... Yes, she was my mother. Rublin died here--"
He choked on that, and sighed, rephrasing.
"She was murdered here on Earth, so she must wander here as a restless spirit. Yes, it was because of me that she was killed, and yes, in a sick and twisted way, it was by my hands."
He felt almost faint now.
"On that note, to continue telling the truth that you want so much... I am not sorry for this."

The girl parted her lips, stunned, eyes starting to glaze in all her horror.
Titanium growled inwardly at himself. He was not making this better, he knew that, and yet he knew if only went on, it would result in losing her faith forever.
He felt sick with himself, tongue unable to stop.
"Rublin was accurate to say that I would be the end of you, draw you into some dark place you cannot escape from, to become like some outer shell of who you are. I do not deny that; I won't. It would take endless time to tell you of all the evils I've done, to explain what kind of monster I really am, or for me to even atone for my sins! Bloodshed is my name, to bring pain and death, to cover all the universe in darkness. It my choice..."


He then saw it.
That moment when she couldn't take anymore.


Mevi clasped her hands over her face, screaming out in absolute horror. Her body quivered, goosebumps appearing all over her arms and legs. When she finally forced herself to look at him, her face riddled with intense heartbreak.
Titanium instantly reached out for her, claws wanting only to caress her cheek, to comfort her, to douse the fires of dread inside her, but the human girl pulled away to take off running from him as fast as she could in the sands back to the city.
The Dark Angel watched helplessly a moment.
Only a moment.
He then started after her only to abruptly come to a halt as his insides writhed in a sick feeling. Titanium felt to his knees, shaking, and then vomited violently a thick and black fluid.
It was blood.
So pitch black.
Like his heart.

Titanium lifted his head, spitting out the awful aftertaste. His chest settled, feeling lighter now. Then his eyes darted ahead to see the young human well ahead of him on her way back to the city she sought refuge within.
He pulled himself together. He had to. He stood again, and stretched out his wings.
A sigh escaped him.
He had to go after her.
"Out of all those unlucky enough to look into my eyes, and to face all that I am, and still give me one last chance before giving up..."
He clenched his fist, eyes dimming.
"Mevi... You were the only one that loved me..."

He took flight.
He refused to let it end this way.


_ _ _



Outskirts of Morton City
An hour later...



Mevi ran for what seemed like forever to her. She never stopped, never looked back. Her eyes were shut tight, crying uncontrollably, tears flooding over her cheeks. Her arms were flailing behind her as she spurred her feet to move as fast as she could muster.
She didn't want to believe it.
She wanted to forget all she had seen and heard.
"I-I...c-can't stop loving him!", she screams to herself, heart shattering in her chest, all her feelings being realized, unchained as they forced their way out of her.
She was now in the city.
She didn't care about the few people she passed hearing her cry.
She didn't care that they didn't know, or did know!
She just didn't care!

The girl turned down a corner, still running blindly, and suddenly found herself bashing into a body of a man.
Mevi was reflected off him like a beam of magic, barely budged him, and she fell back on the sidewalk, forced to sit roughly as he towered over her.
The man was a young adult, and had spiked blonde hair, wore an attire that was all too familiar in style, and hardly concealed on his belt was a blaster.
Rudy.
He looked at her, clearly angry from the impact, but was suddenly staring at her with eyes that held other intentions rather than yelling at her.
He smirked.
"You wouldn't happen to be Mevi Wilden, would you?"     






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If you really read all of this and don't want to punch me in the face for the length, I'll take that as a compliment! ^^

place holder, my nephew is on his way here, gonna read later

This a place holder for me, too. B) I've gotta head over to Malson's soon, so I can't quite be settled now!

Well, let me begin by saying your style is nice and consistent, and your usage is neat.

I find a few trite phrases in your dialogue and description, though, such as "This tower was used for both good and evil in its life. Eventually it was toppled by forces greater than both you and I." Consider replacing "in it's LIFE" with "in its TIME", and the tenor of the passage becomes more professional and articulate. Little stuff, like that.

I still wanna see this in paperback. I want to know exactly what Titanium is, and what the rules of your world are. 

I like that, M00s, and so I edited immediately.
Good shtuff, I like critiques here.   

It's funny you say you want to see what you have read so far in paperback.
When I started this particular set of scenes, it was merely meant to be a side-story in a very lengthy RP.
As you might have guessed by what's given to you already, in the last three scenes we've been discussing characters that all DO NOT belong to Earth: Titanium, Mevi, Rudy, and Kyros that gets mentioned.

Considering what you said to me on the last scene thread I did, I believe you may be right when moving this over a notch to become one full thread all its own instead of for the challenges.
Because there really is SO MUCH happening that I can't explain in 2k words, it just won't happen. XD
And it would give me the opportunity to have fun with this and break away from the RP it was originally following alongside of.

These scenes were never really meant to be a full-blown novel for a few reasons, but since I'm having fun playing around with the situations and characters from literally two different books...
I might as well see what comes out from it. ;]

I freaking love reading your work.  I'm with m00s, I wan't it all, and I want it now! lol


The only thing that ever trips me up in your writing is the use of present tense when people are speaking.

"There... That's where the voice must want me to go", she says

I'm just so used to reading she said.  That isn't to say it is wrong or needs correcting. That's just the only flaw I can find and then only if I'm being nitpicky lol  Awesome work!

The only thing that ever trips me up in your writing is the use of present tense when people are speaking.

"There... That's where the voice must want me to go", she says

I'm just so used to reading she said.  That isn't to say it is wrong or needs correcting. That's just the only flaw I can find and then only if I'm being nitpicky lol  Awesome work!

No, no, thank you!
I NEED someone to tell me what they notice, it has been increasingly helpful.
For this scene, I took major notices of things everyone has tried to tell me on earlier posts and edited this like crazy last night. That's why I was up until 6am! XD I wanted it to be amazing, and I'm getting better.
I can feel it! ^^

Seeing all this gives me great confidence, and it just makes me want to share other works with everyone here - even if it's just for a chapter or two, it would help my stride in the future.
I'm heavily considering bringing other works of mine here for opinions, too.
And I never thought I'd say that! :3


I TRULY appreciate all of your feedback, everyone.
This has helped me in more ways than anyone here can imagine. 

OK. I finally got around to reading this. Whew, that was a lot. o.o I made sure to sit down and think on this one, so I'd have more constructive advice than "WOW GREAT WRITING DUDE!!!!!!!" B)

Overall, I really love your writing style! The descriptions and emotions are especially captured well, but you also don't spend an annoying amount of time on them. Very nice! Such writing! (I can't do a proper doge ok)

I still like the simple, one-word sentences and use of a crazy amount of paragraphs. It breaks down the content nicely, keeps a neat pace, and lets me digest what's going on. You've never had issues with pacing your stuff, and I envy you for it! It's exciting to see the story tie together like this, from many parts! Though I'd have to agree that it would make a rather nice novel. B)

Titanium is a character that makes me curious...but I'm going to be completely honest here and say that Mevi doesn't quite catch my interest as much as he does. She reminds me of one of those really nice, sweet, loving, but also emotional anime girls. She's adorable, though. ;~; I think she complements him pretty well!

Also, when I first saw the word "orb" used for eyes, I thought it somewhat strange. Then, I couldn't unsee the word as it kept popping up throughout the story. o.o Ahhh! On that note, I do like the details when it came to their eyes, but eventually it started to get just a little odd to be reminded of their beautifully sparkling eyes all the time haha. o.o

(As I'm reading, I keep imagining them as anime characters. They totally seem like anime characters! Not that it's a bad thing! I can dig it.)

Overall, it's fantastic as always to see yer stuff! Would like to request !

I'm glad you made it through the 3k words! :3
I know, it was a lot... I have trouble with short stories.
I always have since I was a little kid. ^^'


I'm glad the style is appreciated by everyone so far. It's just how I've come to do things over the years, no one really said to me,Do it this way!, it just sorta formed and that's how my novels go as well.

Yeah, Titanium is a striking character - he's dark and mysterious, out for blood one moment and off saving Mevi the next. And he's completely the opposite of someone like Mevi by nature as well.
Mevi is exactly the sweet, loving, emotional, can-do-no-wrong kinda gal. She is also very kind to the point of possibly...denial? She's obviously smitten with this Dark Angel, and yet, she overlooks so many warnings about Titanium.
SO... Yes. They make a compelling pair when together. ;]


Ah, the "orb" for eyes. You know, the first time I was writing in an RP, an old friend used the description for eyes as "orbs". That always stuck with me, and I liked it for its more...fantasy approach.
But perhaps it is a little weird when used more than once.
Maybe I'll change that. :3


And there will be more to come!
(As soon as this cold allows me to write without a headache... XD)