I just read a lame article that said men are unattracted to "intimidating" women of power and success, and are only attracted to a woman's "feminine" side. Thoughts?




Just thought I should share this, and a picture of Ronda Rousey.

She's pretty I suppose. The fact that she could break every bone in my body before I even knew what happened does not make her more or less attractive to me. That is my generic opinion as a generic white male cisscum shitlord.

I find Ronda Rousey way more sexy because of her success in MMA @_@

But I don't think most people, man or woman, are actively attracted to people who intimidate them. Just because she could easily break my arm doesn't mean that I think she's going to or wants to. She's not intimidating.

Quote from: yuyuIt seems like too many people get married for the sake of getting married without necessarily considering the weight of it.

A lot of them also make the misguided assumption that marriage will fix an already broken relationship. I've seen it happen a lot; hell, my brother and his ex wife were to the point where they couldn't stand to be in the same room with each other when they decided to tie the knot.

You can imagine for yourself how that ended.

I dunno, I guess I just have an extremely pessimistic outlook on marriage. I've been engaged in the past, but both my girlfriend at the time and I mutually agreed that we shouldn't. I feel like that was the right call. We weren't ready, and if we had gotten married, it wouldn't have been a very happy marriage.

Marriage aside, Ronda Rousey is pretty. Like IROCK, I don't think I'd be intimidated by her, because just because she CAN break me in half, doesn't mean she WILL. I don't think she goes around mauling people for fun.

Oops, let me rephrase. :b I put "intimidating" in quotation marks because the article dumbly used that word, followed by traits like successful, powerful, (etc). The author pretty much said that women of power aren't attractive, but their feminine sides are. "Don't try to be tough, boyz just think its pompous" sort of thing. B(

I personally don't consider women intimidating because they are powerful and successful, just as a man wouldn't be any more intimidating if he were the same way. It just means that someone is assertive, and that's always a trait that I've found attractive (in both friends and lovers). But I'm a girl and we're suppoooosed to like assertive guys. So, I'd like your male opinions on the matter. :B

So, basically what I want to know is - does being assertive and powerful make a female less attractive to a male?


I'm tossing away the word "intimidating", because the author was lame and used it to describe women of power. :v

I'm not entirely even sure I know what assertiveness truly is. I like people who are realistic: confident in their strengths, humble about their weaknesses. Confidence as a general personality trait (not being shy, decisiveness) is good, but overconfidence (overestimating yourself, not being considerate of what others want and think, having no filter) is undesirable. I guess basically there should be a mixture, because we all have things we're good at and things we're not so good at. You can even be confident and humble about the same thing. For example: I'm confident in certain aspects of game design while simultaneously doubtful in my abilities in other aspects, confident in my general abilities around certain people and humble in the presence of others. It's all situational.

I also don't want people to blow smoke up my ass, nor do I want them to undermine my abilities. I want them to be honest.

Just act honest.

My taste in girls is pretty much the same as my taste in friends, only a bit stricter.

That's a long winded answer, but I don't fully understand the question.

What do you want men to be like? What's your idea of "assertive"?

That's a great answer! ;o

Quote from: IROCK on August 04, 2015, 12:42:23 PM
What do you want men to be like? What's your idea of "assertive"?

By "assertive", I generally think of it as the perfect balance between passive and aggressive behavior. I tend to see it with positive traits, such as being decisive, firm, confident, and honest, but not rude about it. You're right that an imbalance of that can lead to some undesirable traits, in either direction. Assertiveness can also be used in excess, but at that point it borderlines aggression. I'm mostly focusing on the positive traits of being healthy assertive. ;]

Yet the author specifically mentioned positive traits (power and success) as something that did not interest men, stating that dudes were instead "only interested in a woman's feminine side". I wanted to confirm if that's complete bullshit or not, since I've always thought that both men and women of assertive traits are attractive.

I can only speak for myself. I dunno what your average run of the mill bro dude thinks.

I'm sure most educated individuals don't care about that sort of thing, but I know that society as a whole tends to look down on assertiveness in women. I remember reading something about how assertive boys will often be referred to as good leaders, but assertive girls will be referred to as bossy. There have been a few sjw-esque crusades on the word bossy, but getting rid of a word doesn't really fix the underlying problem.

I split the topic because I've never done that before.

And the conversation has become one deserving its own thread.

Yay.

Quote from: bluntsword on August 05, 2015, 02:40:03 AM
I split the topic because I've never done that before.

And the conversation has become one deserving its own thread.

Yay.

Great idea! Thank you, sir!

Quote from: IROCK on August 04, 2015, 12:42:23 PM
I'm not entirely even sure I know what assertiveness truly is. I like people who are realistic: confident in their strengths, humble about their weaknesses. Confidence as a general personality trait (not being shy, decisiveness) is good, but overconfidence (overestimating yourself, not being considerate of what others want and think, having no filter) is undesirable. I guess basically there should be a mixture, because we all have things we're good at and things we're not so good at. You can even be confident and humble about the same thing. For example: I'm confident in certain aspects of game design while simultaneously doubtful in my abilities in other aspects, confident in my general abilities around certain people and humble in the presence of others. It's all situational.

if by 'intimidating' you mean 'in your face,' then most certainly no. i generally don't find anyone like that appealing in any sense, regardless of gender.
if by 'intimidating' you mean 'strong physique,' then how the heck would i know. labels only do so well - everyone pulls looks off differently, and everyone reacts to them differently.
if by 'intimidating' you mean 'aggressive,' then god no.
if by 'intimidating' you mean 'confident, strong-willed, ambitious,' then i guess it would depend on other factors - what other personality traits do they have? what point am i at in my life (to find said woman attractive)?

i generally find a kinship with people who are easy-going, cool, and interesting to be around. if someone forces me to go through the whole "hi, how are you?" "i'm good thanks, how about you?" "i'm good too!" rigmarole every time they talk to me, i probably won't be attracted to them that much because that isn't interesting to me.
hell, i don't even think i'm inclined towards 'nice' people. just interesting. i like thinking about how complex people can be (because i'm autistic or something???), so people who present themselves to me as shallow don't interest me. i want to see how spending my time with you is worth it.

/boringanswer

Quote from: paccles on August 05, 2015, 01:34:15 PM
if by 'intimidating' you mean 'confident, strong-willed, ambitious,' then i guess it would depend on other factors - what other personality traits do they have? what point am i at in my life (to find said woman attractive)?

This is pretty much what the author seemed to mean by "intimidating". I didn't see much emphasis on the negative traits, just things that can be positive that men apparently don't like because it makes ladies "less feminine".

Quote from: paccles on August 05, 2015, 01:34:15 PM
i like thinking about how complex people can be (because i'm autistic or something???), so people who present themselves to me as shallow don't interest me.

I liked your answer! This part, especially. ;o Though I do prefer my man to be nice, intellect and complexity are two of the factors that draw me the most to people. I got an eye for dem Scorpios~ *___*

Is irock fantasizing about yuyu dominating him ._.

woa I don't think I'm that assertive mang o______o

Quote from: yuyuMEAN on August 05, 2015, 06:02:04 PM

Quote from: paccles on August 05, 2015, 01:34:15 PM
if by 'intimidating' you mean 'confident, strong-willed, ambitious,' then i guess it would depend on other factors - what other personality traits do they have? what point am i at in my life (to find said woman attractive)?

This is pretty much what the author seemed to mean by "intimidating". I didn't see much emphasis on the negative traits, just things that can be positive that men apparently don't like because it makes ladies "less feminine".

well that's sexist against both genders then, by assuming that women are supposed to be traditionally feminine and men are supposed to be exclusively attracted to that. and also that both men as a whole and women as a whole and what they ideally want can be broadly summarised. why can't people just be people pls

am i supposed to feel bad for not explicitly seeking out a "strong woman" or an "intimidating" one? if so, that's retarded and so is its mother

Quote from: paccles on August 06, 2015, 07:31:41 AM
well that's sexist against both genders then, by assuming that women are supposed to be traditionally feminine and men are supposed to be exclusively attracted to that. and also that both men as a whole and women as a whole and what they ideally want can be broadly summarised. why can't people just be people pls

Pretty much what I was thinking! Q_Q It was pretty ridiculous to see someone write about something like that, and I wanted to confirm its bullshit among my male friends.

Quote from: paccles on August 06, 2015, 07:31:41 AM
am i supposed to feel bad for not explicitly seeking out a "strong woman" or an "intimidating" one? if so, that's retarded and so is its mother

Not sure what you mean by that, but it's 2:30am and I'm tired :v

theres "intimidating" because they're stronger than you and could also be a bully/assert their needs and desires with psychical strength (aka abusive)

and then theres "i am intimidated by them because they are stronger/richer/more attractive than me"

one is understandably undesireable

the other is just people being dumb