RMVXAce Shadow Sphere

Maker: RPG Maker VX Ace
I’m not the best at describing stories but I’ll try.
Story Prologue:
The world Vispiria is a vast place where many things have happened in its past. It is protected by the eight elementals Fire, Earth, Water, Wind, Shadow, Light Dragonfire and Spirit/Holy. If these elementals where to be removed or abused the world will fall out of balance and everything will plunge into choas. It is said that there were eight angels several years ago who were the ones who created the eight elementals. However they had sealed the element Shadow away do to its violent power to destroy and cause death. There are certain people who can use the Shadow elemental but very few can without it taking their life.

Main Story:
Princess Megan has lived all her life and been betrayed by many of her friends in the past. She now feels like she can never find the right friends. However when she finds out that her own fiancée plans to unleash the shadow elemental in the world, she learns that she must stop him once and for all.
She’ll have to overcome a lot of obstacles in order to defeat him. The only problem is no one truly knows how to defeat him.




Main Characters:







Princess Megan
Age: 26
Height: 5’0
Weight: 145lbs
Class: Water Knight
Elemental Power: Water
Profile: Megan is the princess of Lilmore castle. However she is known to be overly sensitive sometimes. No one blames her for being this way because a lot of her friends had betrayed her in the past and many men who have promised to remain by her side left her. Over many years of betrayal she has became discouraged about meeting new people. She loves to explore places with her best friend GiGi who has known her since she was 14 years old and one of the only few people who didn’t betray her.









GiGi
Age: 24
Height: 5’1
Weight: 142lbs.
Class: Wind User
Elemental Power: Wind
Profile: GiGi is Megan’s best friend and has known her since she was 14 years old. She likes to explore places like forests, caves, temples, and mountains. She always calms Megan down when she gets upset and makes sure she is stable. She is not afraid to try new things.









Nicklelack:
Age: 26
Height: 6’1
Weight: 178
Class: Holy Knight
Elemental Power: Spirit/Holy
Profile: Nicklelack was once the best friend of Megan’s fiancée. He claims to be trying to find away to stop him. He seems to be abscessed with helping Megan but no one really knows what he is up too. Not much is known about him either.











Mat
Age: 25
Height: 6’0
Weight: 165
Class: Fire Soldier
Elemental Power: Fire
Profile: Mat was once a knight from Grayford Castle. However Queen Susan exiled him do to a misunderstanding. He now stays at Elkron Castle helping Prince Clovis. He hopes to be able to travel the world one day and discover new things. He is very protective of Megan and GiGi since they are friends with Prince Clovis.

There will be more characters in this category later.

Supporting Characters:







Prince Clovis:
Age: 26
Height: 6’2
Weight: 175lbs
Profile: Clovis is the prince of Elkron Castle and one another one of Megan’s friends who never betrayed her. He has known Megan ever since he and she were 5 years old. His parents were friends of Megan’s parents. He has known Megan longer than any of her friends she still has. Sadly his mother died ten years ago and his father is gravely ill.

There will be more characters in this category too.
Evil Characters:




Seatherious:
Age: 24
Height: 6’4
Weight: 185lbs
Profile: Seatherious was Megan’s fiancée and promised to be by her side all the time. However he didn’t truly want to be with her. He now plans to release the Shadow elemental into the world and let it fall into darkness.

There will be more characters in this category too.

Screens: Maping is not the best. Also I can't remember how post spoilers since it's been awhile since I been here.

















































Credits:
Some of the face graphics were made by Archeia Nessiah and are available here http://divisionheave.../material-list/
Some of the face graphics are from here too http://eurs.blog65.fc2.com/
Monster graphics are from RPG Maker Advance
Mack's Tiles
Scripts:
Yami Script Ace - Simple Anti-lag Event
Victor Engine - Basic Module
Victor Engine - Animated Battle
Victor Engine - Actors Battlers
Yanfly Engine Ace - Ace Core Engine
Yanfly Engine Ace - Ace Battle Engine
Yanfly Engine Ace - Battle Engine Add-On: Enemy HP Bars
Yanfly Engine Ace - Ace Message System
Yanfly Engine Ace - Ace Save Engine
Yanfly Engine Ace - Command Window Icons
Victor Engine - Yanfly Engine Ace Patch
Picture Bug Fix by Raizen884
Music:
Golden Sun
Zelda
Breath of Fire 1 and 2
RPG Maker DS
If am missing anything let me know and I’ll add it. I try to give everyone credit if I know who made some of the stuff.


Demo(Does not include the RTP): http://www.sendspace.com/file/pm6jyz
Mods I don't know how to put things in spoilers please tell me how so I can.

Also here is a hunt if you trouble with certain enemies:
If the enemy is fire base their weakness is water, if they're earth based their weakness is wind, if they're water base their weakness is earth, if they are wind based their weakness is wind itself. For future demos if the enemy is shadow base their weakness is light or spirit/holy, if they're light base their weakness is dragonfire. Dragonfire and Spirit/Holy do not have weakness though.
Note: The game is playable until after the Shrine of God. Also I really want feedback on this so please tell me what you think if you play this game.

BUMP
How come no one is bothering to look at this and post any feedback? I really want feedback and I want to
know what everyone thinks of this game. It's not fair.

Give it time, Pinky.

You mentioned that you're not good at describing stories (hopefully that doesn't extend to telling stories ), but I would note that there are a few redundancies in your description.

I will just deconstruct the Prologue paragraph to give you an idea of what I mean and how it could be improved.

The world Vispiria is a vast place where many things have happened in its past.

While "where many things have happened in its past" gives the user a sense that you have developed some kind of history for the place, it is too vague and generic to be attractive to most people. Assumedly, many things happen in any world's past.

It is protected by the eight elementals Fire, Earth, Water, Wind, Shadow, Light Dragonfire and Spirit/Holy. If these elementals where to be removed or abused the world will fall out of balance and everything will plunge into choas.

I'd lose the /Holy, since it breaks the flow. A few grammatical and spelling errors, but otherwise it is fine. I will correct them when I rewrite the paragraph.
 

It is said that there were eight angels several years ago who were the ones who created the eight elementals.

This should be before the previous part because as it is, the concept of angels interrupts the story about the elementals. Also, just several years ago? So were the eight elementals who are crucial to the world's survival only introduced to the world 2-5 years ago?

However they had sealed the element Shadow away do to its violent power to destroy and cause death. There are certain people who can use the Shadow elemental but very few can without it taking their life.

It seems inconsistent with your statement that if the elementals are removed or abused the world falls into chaos. Again, some grammatical and spelling errors, but otherwise fine.

I would suggest that you rewrite the paragraph as follows:

Story Prologue:
The world Vispiria is a vast place, rich in history and home to many wonders. It is said that several thousand years ago, eight angels created eight elementals to protect the world and retain balance: Fire, Earth, Water, Wind, Dragonfire, Spirit, Light and Shadow. However, the angels soon became wary of the great power of the Shadow elemental and they sealed it away to protect the world from its violence. Despite this, some people can still wield the Shadow element, but few can do so without it taking their lives.

Disclaimer: I am not a writer and that's just a rough impression of what I think I would do, but hopefully it helps.

Other than those little quirks with story, I think the story is intriguing enough. The mapping is a little empty though and there's not a lot of visual stimulus. You could check out some tutorials for tips on making your maps a little vibrant, and the Screenshot thread is a great place for inspiration and/or feedback on new maps.

Spoilers: you can make them using [-spoiler]TEXT[/spoiler-] without the dashes

Also, love the story and what Modern said about the past, is it important for the development of the game to know about the past or will the past become clear while playing it?

Also, because of the shadow wielders this looks an awful lot like my game but then again, it's so different that even I wouldn't dare to care in this case.

I am going to try the demo sometime soon, but that might take a while!! (as I know myself, it can take up to a couple of weeks or so )

I'd move your portraits down a few pixels so they either line up or overlap with the text boxes. That bit of space makes them looks bad.

I'd move your portraits down a few pixels so they either line up or overlap with the text boxes. That bit of space makes them looks bad.

Now that you mention it, yeah good point!! That's about 7 pixels?

I hadn't even noticed it yet 

Hey Pinky, I thought you were gone for good.

I finished your first Eternal Destiny (and I'm not sure how the sequel is going), but in all honesty your story and mapping still need work. When I play rpgs I usually find most of them to have fairly cliche storylines, but the backstory and everything that happens in between the plot of the game is what makes them tolerable. Your Eternal Destiny just followed the story step by step with no road blocks or storytelling at any point, I recommend that you put a good chunk of development time into making the story move fluidly while doing those things.

Your mapping is still looking pretty empty. I seem to say this a lot, but if you can't put enough onto the screen at once you should try to make your maps smaller. With Ace you have a ton of freedom to mix and match Tilesets that will allow you to make maps that look much better than the ones you're showing.

I'll download your demo since I'm interested in where you have progressed with your RPG Maker skills. And you're a swell person.

The Demo size is enormous. Just saying.

Thank you guys and girls.  I'm very glad you can give me advice on certain things.  I tend to worry when I don't get feedback because it makes me think that I won't get any.  I really apprciate everyones advice here.

@hiromu656
Thank you. I actually had to get the Data Compress script for later demos and I had to remove the save script because it wasn't letting me save with that script.  So the next demo won't use the Yanfly Save Engine and will hopefully be smaller with the the Data Compress script.

Looks interesting. I will have to try it out when it comes out.

Thank you very much! The demo is in the post if you want to try it, I haven't updated it yet but I will.  I'm still working on it.

BUMP

Just wondering has anyone played the demo yet?