[Writing] I Need Practice!

Does anyone want a poem or short story done about them? I could really use the practice. Or if you have a topic that you would like me to write about you can post it here.

I'm probably going to do most of my posting in the Librarium...
It's what I do.

So if you have a topic don't be shy, I'll write about just about anything...
I think this is my favorite face   

Write about me but I will say fuck you afterwards.


Despite his soul of color
Diversity of lights and shades
Velocity that never fades
And value for his every dollar
Faith and trust in three of spades
May you stay, free of aids.

Write about me but I will say fuck you afterwards.


Despite his soul of color
Diversity of lights and shades
Velocity that never fades
And value for his every dollar
Faith and trust in three of spades
May you stay, free of aids.

I think that was good for being spontaneous lol.

Okay, a short story or a poem? Also what genre? I'll do my best!
Do you have a factfile? I could use some info to get started.

And yes, that was really good for being spontaneous 

You gonna have to make it all up, dude.

Also thanks

I think that was good for being spontaneous lol.

Too bad it doesn't actually make any sense. (Despite that, it's still pretty good, though.)

And to stay on-topic... everyone needs practice. You can always get better (or worse, of course). As for things to write about, we advise that you try to write about anything at all that interests you (and if nothing does, you can always write about apathy; the nihilists will love you for it! ). We (well, most of us) think that writing is genuinely improved when the author is writing about something with some kind of passion, and most often, that kind of passion comes from a sincere interest in what the author is writing about. Unfortunately, not knowing you very well, we can't really recommend anything in particular.

Essentially, just write about what you care about. The rest will follow.

And to stay on-topic... everyone needs practice. You can always get better (or worse, of course). As for things to write about, we advise that you try to write about anything at all that interests you (and if nothing does, you can always write about apathy; the nihilists will love you for it! ). We (well, most of us) think that writing is genuinely improved when the author is writing about something with some kind of passion, and most often, that kind of passion comes from a sincere interest in what the author is writing about. Unfortunately, not knowing you very well, we can't really recommend anything in particular.

Essentially, just write about what you care about. The rest will follow.

I disagree. Obviously a person's best work is most likely to come from a source of inspiration they have a lot of passion for, attachment to, and/or are intimate with, but that's certainly not an area a writer (or anyone involved in any sort of creative art) should limit themselves to. Challenging oneself in this manner is a great way to improve ability. While you may not care much about the subject material, or even enjoy it for that matter, there is a lot you can learn from it. That's why when you go to school for writing, art, music, etc., you're almost never doing just the one thing in the field you want to do, you're exposed to all facets of that art form so that you can take from other areas and apply it to what you want to do. Also it's good to be versatile.

Not to mention that I think her intention is just to write a little bit on whatever not just for practice, but also for fun. I doubt she just has no idea of what to write about and has to ask us for ideas. ;o

I disagree. Obviously a person's best work is most likely to come from a source of inspiration they have a lot of passion for, attachment to, and/or are intimate with, but that's certainly not an area a writer (or anyone involved in any sort of creative art) should limit themselves to.

Eden: I actually think we're agreeing. We didn't mean (or say, actually) that she should limit herself -- that's not what we were saying at all. We were just stating that a good starting place for practice is something you care about.

Challenging oneself in this manner is a great way to improve ability. While you may not care much about the subject material, or even enjoy it for that matter, there is a lot you can learn from it. That's why when you go to school for writing, art, music, etc., you're almost never doing just the one thing in the field you want to do, you're exposed to all facets of that art form so that you can take from other areas and apply it to what you want to do. Also it's good to be versatile.

Now this is incredibly true, especially if the author already feels confident in their abilities within their comfort-zone. If they aren't confident in that yet, though, straying too far outside of it can be exceedingly frustrating.

Not to mention that I think her intention is just to write a little bit on whatever not just for practice, but also for fun. I doubt she just has no idea of what to write about and has to ask us for ideas. ;o

Eh, good point.

In that first part I didn't mean to make it sound like we disagreed there (even though I started out saying I disagree lol). There is a reason I'm a man of music and not a man of words.

Yet another thread derailed by HaloOfTheSun wooooooo

Good job Halo! lol Anyway I will do my best Illumination!

And I totally agree with ya there Halo. Challenging yourself is a great way to get better.

Okay Illumination! I hope you like it. I used your name as inspiration for this and I rather like the concept. I decided to do a short story, since I already did a few poems a few days ago. Here it is!

Step Into the Light

   I put my hand against the wall to steady myself. I slowly made my way down the steps. They creaked and moaned as I walked over them. There were exactly twenty-nine steps that took me from my bedroom to the downstairs living room. At least that is what I thought they were.
   I had lived in this... house? No, it is not a house. This... place for years and yet my eyes had not adjusted to the ever changing darkness that always surrounded me. It shifted and warped like it was alive. It consumed me and everything that I did. I had no clue what to call this place or what it was. I have yet to venture out, back into the world I once knew. I thought about it sometimes and wished so deeply in my heart I had the nerve to do it.
   I made it to the bottom of the steps and waled exactly thirteen steps through the 'living room' and what I knew as the kitchen. The fridge was always stocked. How it seemed to never empty like that I had no idea. I made my food and walked the thirteen steps back into the living room and turned. I then took three more steps and sat on what I thought was a sofa. I ate whatever food was on my plate. As I finished the bland food, if you could call it food, I heard the familiar sound from the front of the house. It always seemed to start up at this time, as I was waking and then again as I went to sleep. It called to me, taunted me, dared me, to go to it.
   Like clockwork, the other noise that over powered to song like calling, came on. This noise was haunting and demanding. It denied the other noise; it would not allow me to leave it's grasp. I the darkness' slave.
   Still the sweet song called to me, straining to be heard over the other. I stood from where I was and started to go to the noise. I knew I would not make it far enough. I never did. This was the routine to which I was accustomed. I never made it through the hall way into whatever lay beyond, no matter how desperately I wanted to see. The darkness always won in the end. I stopped and stood there for what seemed like hours. I had lost track of time long ago, with the exception of the sounds that would wake me as well as mark the time at which I would retire.
   Today would be different, I told myself. I would make it to the place I wanted to be. I just had to fight off the insistence of the darkness. This was my life after all. I had full right over what I wanted to do and, dammit, I would do it! I lifted my foot and set it down. As my foot met the carpet the dark noise began to wale out and it early drove me back to the living room. I kept my nerve, however, and managed to take two more steps before stopping. I had made it farther than before. The house began to screech and wale so loudly. I covered my ears. The two noises seemed to be fighting each other, one urging me on, the other trying to hold me back.  I would no longer listen to this noise. I would make it, today.
   I found myself at a dead end or what seemed to be a dead end. I let go of my ears, the noises were almost unbearable but I managed to ignore the pain in my ears and I put my hand to whatever was in front of me. I felt what seemed to be wood with a small metal knob. As my hand touched the cool metal the already piercing noise became even stronger. I fell to the floor in pain and yet I would not release the handle. This was my freedom, so close to me. I turned the knob and flung the door open.
   The house was silent. I stood there gasping for air. My body shook and I closed my eyes to the sight before me. I slowly opened my eyes smiled to myself. I was no longer trapped by the darkness behind me. For the first time in, oh so long, I walked out into the illumination of the day.


By Guin Morrow

I hope you enjoyed this. It didn't take me long to do at all if any of you would like one done about you. I would be happy to make a story for you!

Sol: Are you wanting any kind of feedback on the pieces that you write in this thread or not? It occurs to me that the input from others could be helpful, but I don't want to overstep and begin analyzing anything if that isn't what is desired from doing these exercises.

I don't mind as long as they are constructive. I'm trying to become a better writer. So if you want to post some feed back go for it!

I can't offer any constructive criticism since I am in no way a writer and I'm currently trying not to fall asleep mid-typing. But! I really liked it, especially considering you had nothing more to work off of than his username. I was curious to see how you were going to write something for someone you don't even know. Good job ;o

I can try to think of things for you to write about, if you want, Guin Do you prefer dark and gloomy stuff? Or anything, really? Gloomy isn't my style, but I think you like writing about that stuff, the best.

RMRK Zombie Apocalypse

Yeah, I do prefer to write about darker things and to tell you guys the truth I have never actually written about a zombie apocalypse... Weird... Unfortunately everyone seems to think that After it All is about zombies... It's not, it's about a bio-genetically engineered virus that was accidentally unleashed. I have gotten a bit farther on it but am currently so overwhelmed with other stuff I have not been writing it for the past week or so... I can't wait until things slow down in school...

I posted what I have on a site called Sullen Riot and it has gotten good reviews so far. So I am happy about that!  If anyone is interested in reading more of After it All I would be happy to add what I have!

I think you should write a poem or short story about a guy who has a deep love for humanity, and releases a cure for a common disease. However, due to regulations and testing, despite knowing his cure works, he is forced to wait many, many years for it to be released. 

That, and also

Spoiler for:

RMRK Zombie Apocalypse There's so many people here that if you knew them well enough you could do something really cool ;o

Then again, because of the medicine I'm on my ideas might not be as good as they sound in my head.

Sol: Okay, so I just got the time to really take a good look at this for you. I really like the concept that you created for this story, the atmosphere is generally good, and overall, I'd say that it's not bad; there are quite a few (relatively) small things that you could do to strengthen your writing, though.

So, the first thing that I noticed was your usage of the word "wale," which is incorrect. "Wale" is a word, but as far as I know, it's a kind of raised section when used as a noun, or something which causes or inflicts wales when used as a verb; the word that you intended to use in almost all of the cases that I saw was "wail" (except here: "waled exactly thirteen steps," which doesn't make sense to me). As well, you use the word a few times in quick succession, which weakens the effect of it. Try to find alternatives any time that you find yourself using the same descriptor often.

I also couldn't help but notice that you're quite literally telling the reader what the protagonist of your story is thinking or doing as if they were speaking directly to the reader, not you as the author. This story is written from a first-person perspective, but that doesn't mean that this kind of direct information is needed. This is where you need to keep in mind that it's better to show your reader their intentions than it is to explicitly tell them, as this will strengthen your writing overall. Much of this story is simply you telling the reader exactly what the character is doing (which is, at times, unnecessary or irrelevant to the point you're trying to convey or the atmosphere you are building).

There are also a decent number of grammatical errors that I saw at a cursory glance. If you want, I'd be happy to go through this story and line-edit it, but I'll refrain from doing so unless that is requested. For instance, though, I noticed the incorrect usage of "it's" when you were trying to show possession (in which case you should use "its"; seemingly backwards, I know, but correct) and a noticeable number of sentence fragments.

I also did a quick search for adverbs in this piece and found eight of them. Adverbs aren't necessarily a bad thing in and of themselves; they can be incredibly useful at times (ah, irony). The problem is that overuse of them is indicative of generally weak writing (I don't mean any offense saying that, by the way; I used to have the exact same problem). What makes it indicative of weak writing is the fact that adverbs are so inherently convenient; they're both a verb and an adjective, or a descriptive action. Essentially, anywhere you use an adverb, you could construct a far more effective description using regular adjectives, nouns, and verbs.

For instance, the second sentence of your story is "I slowly made my way down the steps." This sentence could be far more descriptive and convey a lot more emotion than it does. The core idea is "I made my way down the steps" with the modifier "slowly;" why were they walking slowly? Were they dejected, beaten by the despair and darkness they find themselves in? So... how could you convey the idea of "slowly" while injecting it with more effective emotion and description, then, while removing the convenient adverb "slowly?" This is a relatively simple edit that combines the essence of that sentence with the one that follows it, but I believe it is overall more effective (and efficient) than both of those sentences together:

"I shuffled my feet over the stairs, dragging their weight across the floorboards as the wood creaked and moaned beneath me."

Like I said, adverbs can be very useful, but I believe that they should be used sparingly. There are some authors who advise against using them at all in any scenario, but I believe that could easily lead to purple prose rather than good writing. As a general rule, though, I try to use only a handful of them in any given short story. With that in mind, considering the length of this one, eight is certainly overkill.

Oh, and just so you know, you can quickly search for most adverbs by searching for "ly" in your document. Nearly all adverbs use that suffix (not all of them, though).

And please don't take this criticism the wrong way; I really think that this story has potential, and I think that you have some wonderful ideas. I just think that there are some relatively simple things that you can do that will strengthen your writing in almost any circumstance, no matter what form of prose or genre you are writing in. All I can do is hope that this post was helpful to you.

Good luck.
  - Sol

This seems more picky than constructive criticism. I know I tend to have problems with these things and that's why I need the practice. I know you meant it to be constructive but the length of your response was not only daunting but it seemed you only wanted to point out the usage of my adverbs...

I also tend to have the problem that if I type really fast I put in the wrong words... Like once I meant to type the word weight but I accidentally put wait... I knew the difference between the two and that seemed to be the one thing people called me out on. It felt more of 'hey your a stupid fuck for typing that!' response. Not saying your was though! I know I can fuck up when typing and I need to go through the work I do before posting it.
But thanks trying to help. I know that's what you were wanting to do and I don't mean to sound like I can't take criticism or anything like that. I know I can fuck up with this stuff sometimes.

I hope I didn't sound like too much of a bitch! I didn't mean for it to sound like that if it comes across that way! I really do appreciate you trying to help me! 

Sol: Well, I made a large point about the adverbs because they can make a significant difference when it comes to writing, and that isn't something that I learned about until a few years ago; it's not the most obvious flaw, but it makes a tremendous difference.

And I apologize for the length of my post, since it seemed daunting; that certainly wasn't my intent. I just tend to write at length in general, and when analyzing anything, that length can seem to grow almost exponentially. I do highly recommend proofreading before posting work in general, though, and I still stand by what I said about adverbs.

By the way, I would hardly say that you "fucked up." The story is quite good, I just think that it has the potential to be much better... which is another reason why my previous post was so long. If I didn't see any potential for it to go anywhere, I wouldn't have had nearly as much to say about it, if anything, honestly.

I really do appreciate your help Eden! I usually don't use so many of the same adverbs and I don't know why I did with this... I agree with opinion on this too.

Thanks again!