You are not spell-checking. At least not properly. Have someone else play trough your game, use microsoft word.
Also, many of the other nine points he is talking about in the video applies to you. For example playtesting. If you did playtest, your game would be possible to play without editing it. Also, you should explain what is going on cause it's nothing happening in that demo except for some maps that you have not put enough work into. Who is that main character (Stupid me, it's Arshes) but who the other three are is an even greater mystery. Especially that dragon thing. It's no storyline, at all. Fix that, and good luck.