Apocalyptica----Is this a good story line?

Do not use this story line its for my game!!!
Thank u

Spoiler for:

Centuries have come and gone taking with them memories and events that have made the world what it is today. Humans have always taken for granted the environment and world around them and the way that they live life. Many animals and humans alike have suffered and died due to the irresponsibility of human action. This is where our story begins. The council of elders are the guardians of the world and universe alike, they work to maintain complete homeostasis and equality between all civilizations. They have been studying earth growing weary of the pit that the planet has been falling into. When the 12th century began they made a compact to give earth one hundred years to change their ways or to suffer the consequences of their actions. As they anticipated the humans of earth did not change and for this they will suffer. The council of elders have sent down  Pandora's  to exterminate the human populace and bring homeostasis. The Pandora's  are the spirits of the universe who live only to serve the elders, they contain the power to posses any organism. No one has ever seen the Pandora's in their true form.
   43 years have passed since the purification of Earth began. Trenton, a young farm boy has worked with his family to keep their lives, always showing good gestures and helping people. Until one day when Trenton’s parents lives were taken were taken by the Pandora's . This loss devastated Trenton and changed his life forever. After learning of their death he ventured into the Teor mountains, a forbidden and evil area of  Gastensa, where only the crazy and insane travel. While in the mountains he discovered a shrine, old and worn by age. Naturally he studied the ruins when he found a small opening into the shrine. Not being able to sleep out of fear he went inside the shrine hoping it would provide protection for a nights rest. As he crawled in he discovered a sword at the end of a tunnel. It was like nothing he had ever seen before, glowing with a blue aura. He picked up the sword and as if it was hot a mark appeared on his hand that resembled a burn except for it being blue in color. Scared and worried he placed the sword in his pack and ran out of the shrine.
   Trenton walked through the mountains, the moment he found the sword playing over and over again in his head. The day was coming to a close when Trenton heard rustling in the bushes, out of instinct he grabbed for his sword, forgetting what happened earlier and stared out at the bush watching for any movement. Then two people popped out. These were no ordinary people, they were from the village Bushag. Not too far from Trenton’s own village. Immediately they related, not just on their place of origin but also by the events that had taken place. They had both found a shrine similar to Trenton’s but the girl, whose name is Alex, was branded with a red mark on her hand when she touched a Scythe, while her brother, Jake, had a white mark when he touched a broadsword. They stood up the whole night conversing, talking about how their lives were not so different. Alex and Jake’s village was also destroyed but they were able to flee. They then realized that this was not coincidence. It was destiny for them to meet. Now they have all agreed to stop the Pandora's and there ELders! They have set out and are ready for anything...

I'm gonna say no. - Not because I read it, but because you posted it in two sections. Which leads me to believe you're a dumbass. Hence; your story is no good.

It sounds like quite a good intro but yeh.. wrong place to put it.

Um, well... without reading your complete script (the dialogue, not the programming) I would say that the ideas you're presenting are a tad bit scattered, or perhaps not explained as clearly as you had intended. There are a lot of words on the page, but you are saying little. I say this with the full realization that the plot has to thicken during gameplay, but even still- if that was the text on the back of a game box, I'd probably put it back on the shelf. Try to reorganize your ideas and consolidate the text.

Keep at it!

I'm thinking a bit cliche...
other than that, yeah, it's good, even if it's a bit unpolished. 

I didn't read the story yet, because you used the name of a band for your story.
I'd fix that first.

Also...clicked the spoiler and it's like a wall of text, try to format it some into paragraphs and such.
Makes it so much easier to read.

It's a bit cliched, with these shrines, and that kind of thing.

Also...clicked the spoiler and it's like a wall of text, try to format it some into paragraphs and such.
Makes it so much easier to read.

I second that!

MM why would those supposedly superior elder beings be interested in our little planet and destroying our puny civilization??
I dont understand why them.. noo wait the entire universe is being treathened by little buggers like us, anyways.. do we even stand a chance against the whole universe police?
It is just too hard to imagine that ...
heres some stuff that may help:
1.- the universe is a little too out of our league (earth), so the aliens or celestial beings that come from X solar system or galaxy, could be interested in some of our resources?? (not likely) but we stand in their way.. now that is a little more believable..
2.- why would someone far away care about us destroying forest and killing animals.. its like interfering into a evolutionary advance, would martians like us humans to punish them for blowing up their atmosphere? a little too late..
3.- Including a lot of unknown places names in the same sentence may result annoying for most people..
well thats it i hope that helps :3