Linhollow Travels [Looking for Personal Beta Tester]

Storyline

Spoiler for:

A young man, on a quest to fufil his family's tradition, find himself in a bigger adventure than he could ever hope for.
On the way, he meets three friends, wise, agile, and powerful. They travel across the land of Deria , fulfiling their own wishes,
all while helping their new friend fufil his.
You will travel to two continents, along with exploring Deria. The largest continent, Itias, has barely been explored.
The other continent, Deseria, has been rumored to be what people call, the Origin. Many people argue over wether the humans came from there, or if it was the dragons.

Characters

Spoiler for:

~Adrius
Class-Bard
Gender- Male
Age-23
Hometown-Linhollow
Backstory- Adrius left his hometown to carry on the family tradition of the first born male writing an epic.
He traveled to the town of Seril. He met up with Emiliea, a gifted ranger.
With him, he carries his magic harp, to protect himself from monsters.

~Emiliea
Class-Ranger
Gender- Female
Age-16
Hometown-Nightwood Forest
Backstory- She left her home, to explore the world. She felt that it was much bigger than the elders told her, and she wanted to find out.
She ended up in Seril town, trying to sell things from her previous hunts, such as bone necklasses and fur.

~Deron
Class-Alchemist
Gender- Male
Age-20
Hometown- Raven Port
Backstory- A young alchemist training under his masters watch. He was sent out on a quest to find a rare herb, and was knock out by a large creature. He was found by a man, and taken to the village of Hasen

~Ferion
Class- Dragoon
Gender- Male
Age- 27
Hometown- The Torol Mountains
Backstory- Exiled from his village for murder, he lives in the mountains. He has been trained by a clan of Emerald dragons, and the eldest has appointed himself as his mentor. When he finishes his training, he will be granted a set of armor crafted by the dragons. This armor is made from the scales of the villagers.

Map

Spoiler for:

Don't mind the crappy quality:
Map

Features

Spoiler for:

~Story that updates as you finish quests and kill bosses. (This game is an outlet for my story.)
~Gambling (Still working on it)
~Fishing System
~Blizards DDNS
~Point Based Leveling
~Reputation (Removed)

Screenshots

Spoiler for:

None at the moment.

Status

Spoiler for:

Mapping- 15% Done
Story- 10% Done
Extras-66% Done

Credits

Spoiler for:

Blizard
Demonic Blade
Synthesize

The name is good. Makes me want to try it out. Curious as to what the story is going to be, the brief synopsis in the character descriptions doesn't tell much. Seems like it's original so far though. I'll keep my eye open.

The name is good. Makes me want to try it out. Curious as to what the story is going to be, the brief synopsis in the character descriptions doesn't tell much. Seems like it's original so far though. I'll keep my eye open.

That's the beauty of the game. You'll learn about the characters as the story is written.
It's going to be a short game, only 5 bosses. 6 Dungeons, including 4 secret ones to find rare weapons.
I still need someone to help me code a gambling script, for a Dice game, and a number guessing game.
I'll try to have a demo in the next few days.

Most folks want at least a brief synopsis of the story, even just the background, before they play a game. I know you don't want to spoil the story, but you need to put a little more bait on the hook, y'no?

Story: You story isn't really detailed. That really nothing going for it. Is there an epic quest, or is it more of an exploring game. You characters are't very developed and some are cliched. It seems like you are trying to fit your characters in the game, not have the game fit the characters. The story can go two ways, as you are on the edge right now with you story. Please dont make this a cliche nightmare, use originality to create a emotional journey. (:

Graphics: Well, your mapping needs work. You misuse tiles and overall its dull and boring. In a town as big as that, I expect load of people, not just a person here and there. Shrink your maps down, move the buildings closer together, and add more detail. (:

Other Notes: Some of your features, I wouldn't call features such as the story update and the gambling. To tell you truth, this looks like your first project. With dedication and a lot of work, this could be a good game, but you need to get it to that point.  (:

Story: You story isn't really detailed. That really nothing going for it. Is there an epic quest, or is it more of an exploring game. You characters are't very developed and some are cliched. It seems like you are trying to fit your characters in the game, not have the game fit the characters. The story can go two ways, as you are on the edge right now with you story. Please dont make this a cliche nightmare, use originality to create a emotional journey. (:

Graphics: Well, your mapping needs work. You misuse tiles and overall its dull and boring. In a town as big as that, I expect load of people, not just a person here and there. Shrink your maps down, move the buildings closer together, and add more detail. (:

Other Notes: Some of your features, I wouldn't call features such as the story update and the gambling. To tell you truth, this looks like your first project. With dedication and a lot of work, this could be a good game, but you need to get it to that point.  (:

As I said, this is only an outlet for my story. The point of the game is to finish it. The reason it's not detail is because it's part of what you're supposed to do.
Mapping, yes i know it needs work. It's been two years since I've touched a map maker, and it was also 4 in the morning.
Also, this isn't my first game, it's my first game in two years.
I'm going to revise it all on a later date. I'm usually up all night and sleep during the day, and during the night I'm working on another story.

This idea seem interesting enough, though a bit of background information on the world you'll play in would be nice. You don't have to spoil the story, just tell us a basic bit about the world we'll play in.

[/quote]
That's the beauty of the game. You'll learn about the characters as the story is written.
It's going to be a short game, only 5 bosses. 6 Dungeons, including 4 secret ones to find rare weapons.
I still need someone to help me code a gambling script, for a Dice game, and a number guessing game.
I'll try to have a demo in the next few days.
[/quote]

script or event,if it's event i can help you,if it's script i can have a go at helping even im quite crap at scripting

Please remove this thread. I'm no longer able to work on Linhollow travels do to issues with my computer.