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Swords Declassified School Survival Guide

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Title hax  :=:
WIKI

Spoiler for Hallways:
Well class this weeks lesson is about getting through hallways.


Black People- IF YOU ARE A BLACK MAN BE PROUD, YOU ARE THE BEST PEOPLE TO BE AROUND IN THE HALLS. Blafrican Americans often grow impatient at the slowness and even complete blockage of halls, since they, being black, are more athletic than most of other races, black people are easily able to ram through groups of kids that just wont move. THis creates a temporary passage through the stand still halls of lame. For black women see the general women group.

Mexicans- IF YOU ARE A MEXICAN FUCK YOU. Latinos, ah yes, I like to call them the oil of our schools. No matter how much you shake them up and disperse them in our water, they always find someway to get back together. The Hispanic people like to group up often forming parties of 20+. Walking through the school slow as hell as well as onesiding traffic. BAD!

Asians- These people dont really affect the halls much. You chinks/japs/nams/koreans/hutwomen(Anne) are OKAY in my book.

White people- Same as asians. (Except white women)

WOMEN- WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE WORSE THAN THE MEXICANS. YOU GOD DAMN WOMEN HAVE TO HUG EVERY FUCKING PERSON YOU SEE ON THE WAY TO YOUR CLASS. WHAT THE HELL. IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU ARE WHITE,BLACK OR ASIAN. YOU ALWAYS DO THE SAME FUCKING THINGS. YOU ARE THE REASON THE HALLS SO SLOW.

Air, on the second floor of crowded schools you may find it hard to breathe, well thats because all the fucking mexicans are sucking it up. So either hurry to the next floor or go to a bathroom and catch a breather.

*RIIIING*
Oh shit thats the bell, next weeks lesson is on Relationships.


Homework~ Read Chapter 1 Section 1

CHAPTER ONE SECTION ONE
Vocabulary: Stoppers

This has just been brought to attention to me by one of our students.

Stoppers
If life was pokemon,WOMEN would evolve into Stoppers. Stoppers are almost ALWAYS women. These people like to find eachother, use a hug attack and stop dead where they met and ensue in conversation. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK. Stoppers often have no regard for the outside world and, being the complete douches that they are, will slap you when anal rapage ensues. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT THE DECIDED TO STOP WITH YOU WALKING BEHIND. Say you get slapped, pat her on the ass, point your fingers and wink.Shes a stopper she wont chase, hell she might go tell a teacher but you'll be long gone by then. So what does a stopper do when she encounters another stopper in the class room environment? Well it all depends on the class, the stopper will knock her purse over on her desk, take out her cell phone and start texting. In Gym,  the stopper will find another and walk around the track at a horrendously slow speed and take up as much room as possible. Making it much harder for people wanting an A/ can actually run. Stoppers severely hinder traffic (fig1) and should be avoided at all costs.

FIG1

RED DOTS- COLLISIONS
BLACK DOTS- STOPPERS
PINKS DOTS- HUGGERS
BLACK/PINK- EVOLVING HUGGERS

Note how only one path is free, also there is only enough room for ONE way of traffic, you fucking whores move out the damn way got it?

Spoiler for Relationships:
lol well I dont really need to teach you about these, but if you need some help talk to me on msn (beta_z0@hotmail.com)

Spoiler for Homework:
TODAYS LESSON: HOMEWORK

Ah yes homework. Today Im going to tell you everything about homework you probably dont need to know.

HISTORY OF HOMEWURK: Well, since the 1950's school has lasted almost all day 5 days a week. This is due to Hitler infecting a soldier with the asshole disease and thus making him elongate school hours. THIS NOT BEING ENOUGH FOR THE MANIACLE BASTARD, and knowing he couldnt keep you all day, he invented homework. Homework is evil, it is only meant to suck up your free time and make you boring, so you can get boring jobs that have purpose, and so nobody will revolt when America switches over to communism.

I mean you CAN do homework if you WANT.
But then you are giving into Hitler you fucking Nazi >:(.
You should only ever do homework if your grade depends on it, or if you're a girl, because for some weird reason girls do homework.

Spoiler for Gym:
Gym Class

Fuck yes, the class of champions.
IF YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LISTEN TO MUSIC DURING GYM, FILL YOUR MP3 PLAYER WITH OLD SKOOL RAP, MOSTLY CONSISTING OF MC HAMMER. DODGE BALL HAS NEVER BEEN SO SATISFYING.
Hey if you dont like Gym gtfo. This class is a class of MEN. Show off all of your skills, beat some ass and do some pull-ups. Try your absolute hardest in this class, the ladies will love you, nothing is better than doing 60 pushups in 60 seconds, asking the gym teacher who did the most pushups infront of everybody, and hearing "Well you did."
Also for those of you who dont believe I can do it, I'll record a video of me doing it sometime. BUT ANYWAYS, for those of you who have trouble getting through Gym, get off the computer and run around the block. I look forward to this class everyday just so I can show people off. Running a 7 minute mile in Texas heat and running back to the locker room will truly make everyone swoon. GROW SOME BALLS AND GET OUT THERE MEN. YOU HAVE YOUR MISSION NOW ACCOMPLISH.
Spoiler for bullies:
Bullies!

Do these exist? No, there is no such thing as a person who is a complete asshole to everyone, and if their is, he sure as hell isnt strong enough to beat up everyone. "Hey!" you exclaim, "I get beat up by bullies all the time!" you interject. Really? Are you really getting picked on for no reason. Or do you have certain qualities that just make people want to punch you in the face. Either way I have never seen a bully, but if they do exist and I'm wrong, do what Eric Harris did, wear a shirt that says Natural Selection.
ALSO LOL DONT BRING A GUN TO SCHOOL AND SHOOT PEOPLE, THATS BAD.

Spoiler for Notes:
NOTES: Not much to say about notes, I guess this picture will just explain everything


Projects

Okay lol, this is why you hate school. The man is trying to keep you down with fucking projects. FUCKING DOUBLE TEST GRADES. Yeah well listen to the man, seriously I cannot stress enough how much shit you get into when you turn in a project a day late. You fail the class, you get yelled at by your stepmom, dad, mom, stepdad, grandparents, and teachers. I swear to god their is nothing worse than being lectured 234897529 times about the same thing. This isnt homework, this is your ticket to college. SO FAGGOTS DO YOUR WORK, SERIOUSLY.

Also I'm grounded, I'll only be on on the weekends.
SO someone edit this for me if they are sexy enough to.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2007, 02:09:04 AM by Dr Sword »

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:D Yes.


(Get on MSN, douchebag!)
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:D Yes.


(Get on MSN, douchebag!)

I AM, I just blocked you (unblocking right now)

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WOMEN- WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE WORSE THAN THE MEXICANS. YOU GOD DAMN WOMEN HAVE TO HUG EVERY FUCKING PERSON YOU SEE ON THE WAY TO YOUR CLASS.


Truer words have never been spoken.

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Spoiler for:

+

=
win

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That's a pretty frilly sword.

If I got mortally stabbed by that, I would probably laugh at how girly it was.

Then I would probably die.
you awoke in a burning paperhouse
from the infinite fields of dreamless sleep

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Yeah but Im a doctor so :/

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LOL. Also, I would change "WOMEN" to "F**ING PREP RETARD SCUMGIRLS"

pokeball :)OfflineMale
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I enjoy ned's declassified school survival guide ;o
P-COOKIE P-COOKIE
Watch out for: HaloOfTheSun

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I thought you only watched SB on Nick. :o

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I must have forgotten that show.

;o
Watch out for: HaloOfTheSun

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This is a serious topic meant to help kids who cant get through school.

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Hey, SB helps you relax which helps you get through school. >:( Except for those disgusting episodes where they show SB's guts and crap.

******
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I could not agree more. I fucking hate it when people block the goddamn halls. I personally am in the group where I just move by anyone, since I don't want to start a fight.

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WHITE POWER

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I practically just walk through people, pushing them down/away. If they say anything I just smile and wave and keep walking.
you awoke in a burning paperhouse
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I AM REAAALLLLLY SORRY BUT
NIGGERZONEONE

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I'm lucky. I tend to be real quiet in the halls, not reacting to seeing a friend of mine other than maybe a small wave. I do get stuck behind slow people a lot, and stuck in general because, since I have a fucking heavy bag, I have a wheelie.

But again, lucky, because I'm a really big guy and if I put on an ugly face people kinda...hurry along. :D

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HAhahhahaha. Arrow, I can see you as a big person. Mostly because of the Sigma avatar you used to have. I think it's sigma... Anyways, yeah, it's fun to screw people over by slowing them down but I hate it when people are doing it without knowing it. GODDAMN, HURRY THE HELL UP. IS THE FIRE IN FRONT OF YOU OR SOMETHING?

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WOMEN- WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE WORSE THAN THE MEXICANS. YOU GOD DAMN WOMEN HAVE TO HUG EVERY FUCKING PERSON YOU SEE ON THE WAY TO YOUR CLASS.


Truer words have never been spoken.

AMEN BROTHAH!!!!


I've mastered slipping through hallways, though now with a bulky bag it's harder.  Someone called me "Waterman" because I slipped through a crowded hallway that other people for some stupid reason couldn't traverse without fear of offending someone.  I be thin and slippery in a hallway :P  In public high school I could squeeze through most traffic jams (and jellies, usually girls who insist on TALKING and STANDING WHILE THEY TALK...morons)  Of course I got stuck sometimes...usually when I HAD to get somewhere...damn murphy's law.

Note of advice to those reading this that are of the "stopper" group: if you wanna talk or stand around, find a bathroom or unused classroom, NOT THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY.  Or go outside and talk your friggin' mouths right off so you have no more reason to talk and jam the hallways.

okay, I'm done.  I could go off on a huge rant but I prefer to not use curse words except in an emergency.

Sword, keep up the classes.

Want a personal sig like this? Ask Firerain:
http://rmrk.net/index.php/topic,20203.0.html

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HAhahhahaha. Arrow, I can see you as a big person. Mostly because of the Sigma avatar you used to have. I think it's sigma... Anyways, yeah, it's fun to screw people over by slowing them down but I hate it when people are doing it without knowing it. GODDAMN, HURRY THE HELL UP. IS THE FIRE IN FRONT OF YOU OR SOMETHING?

     Why do you think I like him so much? ;D He's big, he has no hair, and he thinks everyone around him (outside of his own minions, to an extent) is of lesser intelligence than he is (and he's probably right). Everyone has an ideal image of the they would be if they could shape themselves into whatever they wanted to be, Sigma is my guy, basically, though not exactly. Wouldn't go all homicidal killer crazy.

...I don't think.

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Assigned homework~

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Haha, luckily for me this doesn't happen at my school. We have less than 4 minutes to get from class to class. So its like a track meet when the bell rings. But last year, we had waaaaay too much time. Even worse if you wanted a drink from the only water fountain.

Also: I don';t usually do homework, but I made an exception for this. :blizj:

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I might start pushing people tomorrow. What are they gonna do, I probably weigh twice as much as they do! >:D

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Okay actually, Im going to cram in lessons as many times as I can.
One per day though. I'm tutoring (answering questions) on past subjects/upcoming subjects, and probably going to keep this up until the 07 rmrk awards.