The Grand List of Console RPG Cliches

It's so damn funny and true.

http://www.project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

Let's LOL together, people!!

OMG! <3 the link. *bookmarks*

The less the main character talks, the more words are put into his mouth, and therefore the more trouble he gets into through no fault of his own.

LoL

See? It's so darn hilarious that I couldn't stop laughing every time I re-read.

Btw...
It seems that the webmaster is revamping the site right now.
So the link is temporarily broken.
Maybe.
Cuz I can't link to it anymore.

Link works for me.

It works now. LOL.

Maybe it's my connection.

Sorry but BUMP!!

People should check this!! This is the greatest LOL list!!

Old. Very old.

Sorry if it's OLD!

You better be arl. 

Umm...
I think this board is starting to be spammed...
I'm already Arl, y'know. Even though it's already April 2 here.

Well...Even thou it;s Confusing...It's a good Tutorial for Those Starting to make Games...This way the game won't look bad and have awesome stuff =3 Too Bad I got to learn late when My Game is at nearly 97% Done. <sigh>

A few of those are quite funny and true. I love the name of the "George Bush Geography Simplification Initiative", though the principle itself wasn't particularly funny.

Well...
I love the titles better than the principles, to tell you the truth.

Arbor Day Rule
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.

Weapon Rule
There's always a hidden creature who is much harder to defeat than even the ultimate bad guy's final, world-annihilating form. It's lucky for all concerned that this hidden creature prefers to stay hidden rather than trying to take over the world himself, because he'd probably win. As a corollary, whatever reward you get for killing the hidden creature is basically worthless because by the time you're powerful enough to defeat him, you don't need it any more.

That one's my favorite.

You should convince Zypher to post my incredible RPG story.

Why don't you do it?

I don't have it, he saved the chat log.

I still have that site saved on my HDD. <3 And I still lol when reading it.

Spoiler for:

The list will be in Chaos Project. =P

Spoiler for LOL Holk's game idea:

(9:06:18 PM) Holkeye: im making a game called kpnatrr
(9:06:22 PM) Zypher: hahaha
(9:06:27 PM) Zypher: how do you even pronounce that?
(9:06:29 PM) Holkeye: its pronounced "real time"
(9:06:40 PM) Zypher: ah
(9:06:44 PM) Zypher: well we'll need character names
(9:06:59 PM) Holkeye: well theres bubble
(9:07:08 PM) Zypher: and blossom and buttercup?
(9:07:10 PM) Holkeye: hes the hero
(9:07:14 PM) Holkeye: bubble is a dude
(9:07:18 PM) Zypher: o i c
(9:07:25 PM) Holkeye: bubble bloodyhand
(9:07:26 PM) Zypher: OH I REALLY SEE NOW
(9:07:30 PM) Zypher: LOL
(9:07:38 PM) Holkeye: he's dark and brooding, but his name is confusing
(9:07:43 PM) Holkeye: like cloud strife
(9:07:48 PM) Holkeye: and squall leonhart
(9:07:52 PM) Djangonator: LOL
(9:07:55 PM) Djangonator: cloud
(9:08:00 PM) Djangonator: so soft and squishy
(9:08:03 PM) Holkeye: then we have the heroine of the game
(9:08:16 PM) Holkeye: her name is Victoria Smithstein
(9:08:21 PM) Zypher: LOL
(9:08:21 PM) Holkeye: but somehow she looks asian
(9:08:24 PM) Zypher: hahaha
(9:08:35 PM) Djangonator: and black?
(9:08:39 PM) Holkeye: no, asian
(9:09:01 PM) Djangonator: why asian?
(9:09:07 PM) Holkeye: because theres always an asian chick trying to be passed off as an american
(9:09:12 PM) Holkeye: like tifa
(9:09:19 PM) Zypher: LOL tifa was asian?
(9:09:20 PM) Holkeye: or the other one
(9:09:24 PM) Holkeye: she looks asian
(9:09:33 PM) Zypher: well that's because japan sucks at drawing americans
(9:09:40 PM) Holkeye: dude theyre all asian
(9:09:45 PM) Holkeye: theyre made in japan
(9:09:51 PM) Zypher: touche
(9:10:03 PM) Zypher: anyway, carry on
(9:10:04 PM) Holkeye: are gi joes japanese?
(9:10:04 PM) Holkeye: no
(9:10:09 PM) Holkeye: ok
(9:10:11 PM) Holkeye: so
(9:10:22 PM) Holkeye: there's the half animal/half man
(9:10:22 PM) Djangonator: it feels like I have a nosebleed but I can't tell because it's stuffy
(9:10:29 PM) Holkeye: ill call him
(9:10:34 PM) Arrow|Strangelove left the room (quit: Broken pipe).
(9:10:49 PM) Holkeye: Joof-Joof Calenkit
(9:10:53 PM) Zypher: LOL
(9:10:59 PM) Djangonator: LOL
(9:11:00 PM) Holkeye: his head is shaped like a peach
(9:11:04 PM) Djangonator: LOL
(9:11:11 PM) Holkeye: and he has the body of a rhinocerous
(9:11:18 PM) Djangonator: wait
(9:11:26 PM) Djangonator: make it half woman  half whale
(9:11:30 PM) Holkeye: no
(9:11:31 PM) Djangonator: yu can call it Djangonator
(9:11:32 PM) Holkeye: its my game
(9:11:56 PM) Djangonator: also
(9:12:01 PM) Djangonator: what unplugs your nose like
(9:12:05 PM) Djangonator: really fast
(9:12:12 PM) Zypher: a punch to the face should do it
(9:12:15 PM) Holkeye: the last of the heroes is the shy-girl-who-doesnt-know-her-magic's-strength-yet
(9:12:19 PM) HaloOfTheSun: Draino
(9:12:26 PM) Djangonator: k
(9:12:27 PM) Zypher: LOL
(9:12:29 PM) Holkeye: her name is dumkunt
(9:12:32 PM) Zypher: HAHAHAHAHA
(9:12:36 PM) HaloOfTheSun: lol
(9:12:47 PM) Holkeye: the story is
(9:12:48 PM) Djangonator: and how might that be pronounced?
(9:12:57 PM) Holkeye: doom kewnt
(9:13:00 PM) Zypher: doom koont
(9:13:04 PM) Zypher: LOL yeah what he said
(9:13:09 PM) fullmetalboy: dumb kunt
(9:13:14 PM) Djangonator: LOL
(9:13:15 PM) Holkeye: the story is that one day a long time ago
(9:13:27 PM) Holkeye: a piece of the moon fell to the earth or some weeaboo bullshit
(9:13:33 PM) Zypher: hahahaha
(9:13:39 PM) Djangonator: lmfao
(9:14:05 PM) Holkeye: and all of a sudden, there were monsters everywhere, and they kept attacking people randomly
(9:14:30 PM) Holkeye: and when they hit into people, little numbers would appear on their chests for a second
(9:14:34 PM) Zypher: LOL
(9:14:37 PM) Zypher: AHAHA
(9:15:03 PM) Djangonator: laughing so hard has done the trick, and I do in fact have a nosebleed
(9:15:05 PM) Djangonator: brb
(9:15:08 PM) Holkeye: so the four heroes decided that they werent afraid of the sudded onslaught of evil shit that wasnt there two seconds ago
(9:15:21 PM) Zypher: LOL
(9:15:24 PM) Zypher: god
(9:15:25 PM) Holkeye: and set out on a journey to EVERY FUCKING CITY ON THE PLANET
(9:15:28 PM) Zypher: I can't stop laughing
(9:15:50 PM) Djangonator: Holk. are you consuming an alcoholic beverage?
(9:16:01 PM) Holkeye: their first mission was to walk up to everyone and not say anything, but expect the people to tell them what to do
(9:16:04 PM) Holkeye: no, i am not
(9:16:06 PM) Zypher: LOL
(9:16:11 PM) Zypher: I can't stop
(9:16:12 PM) Djangonator: LOL
(9:16:39 PM) Zypher: ferris bueller is on and yet I am laughing more at this
(9:16:51 PM) Holkeye: after they did that for a while, they had to go to the "cave"
(9:17:10 PM) fullmetalboy is now known as FMB|Tv
(9:17:14 PM) Holkeye: and inside were normal things, like bats, rats, and you know, giant fucking snails
(9:17:25 PM) Djangonator: LOL
(9:17:32 PM) Holkeye: and dumkunt cast THECLAPAGA on them
(9:17:34 PM) Zypher: ahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha hahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah
(9:17:39 PM) Djangonator: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(9:18:00 PM) Djangonator: just killed the poor creatures?
(9:18:23 PM) Holkeye: after they stole everything from everywhere in the world that wasnt part of a background pre-render
(9:18:27 PM) Zypher: LOL
(9:18:32 PM) Zypher: this is
(9:18:36 PM) Holkeye: they finally made it to the moon tower
(9:18:40 PM) Zypher: holy shit
(9:18:52 PM) Holkeye: and were treated to a cutscene that lasted around 3 hours
(9:18:59 PM) Djangonator: LOL
(9:19:18 PM) Djangonator: i cant breeeeeeeatttthhhhheeee
(9:19:29 PM) Holkeye: after that was over, they climbed the tower battling flying eyeballs and other everyday animals
(9:19:39 PM) Zypher: my face is hurting so much
(9:19:39 PM) Holkeye: and made it to the final confrontation
(9:19:56 PM) Djangonator: LMFAO
(9:20:02 PM) Holkeye: the person that knocked the moon piece down was none other than... THE FIRST PERSON THEY FOUGHT IN THE GAME
(9:20:08 PM) Holkeye: but he was in disguise
(9:20:22 PM) Holkeye: and now, like 2 days later, he is 4 screens bigger
(9:20:27 PM) Holkeye: has a second head
(9:20:42 PM) Holkeye: and the ability to pull snakes out of his ass and sic them on the heroes
(9:20:50 PM) Djangonator: i am
(9:20:53 PM) Djangonator: laughing so hard
(9:20:56 PM) Zypher: going to die
(9:21:33 PM) Holkeye: so after it took him an hour to tell the heroes his brilliant plan that obviously didnt work because why would they be in the fucking tower right now if it did?
(9:21:47 PM) Holkeye: he attacks!
(9:21:54 PM) Holkeye: and the intense music comes on!
(9:22:03 PM) Holkeye: the weeedddlleey wweeedddllleeyy
(9:22:05 PM) Holkeye: guitars
(9:22:08 PM) Zypher: hahahahahah
(9:22:11 PM) Djangonator: LMFAO
(9:22:17 PM) Holkeye: the huge brass crescendo
(9:22:18 PM) Djangonator: WEEDLLLEEY
(9:23:04 PM) Holkeye: and then two seconds later the moonstealer dies because most of the party's quest was spent walking around in a little circle and fighting frogs.
(9:23:14 PM) Zypher: ahahahahaha
(9:23:32 PM) Holkeye: thus, the world of asscrakonia is saved

<3 Holk.

LOL x1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0
*fall from chair*

XD

I especially like the random encounter one!

This list is hyserical.
But I'm proud to say that MY GAME DOES NOT FALL UNDER SOME OF THE WORSE CLICHES!
1. My main character is around 21 and uses a crossbow as his weapon.
2. The second party member is his father who is the strongest and uses a spear.
3. There are no girls in the party, ever. With exception that the raven you get is female.
4. You fight the 3rd and 4th party members before they join you (together). However, the reason you fight first is that the 3rd party member does not want to involve the main characters in what he beleives is his problem.
5. The 3rd party member is THE ONLY person who knows about the problem with the world (until he finally tells the main characters) therefore no one else IS able to try to save the world for you.
6. There is no "villain" throughout the storyline. The boss of the game needs to be killed for a different reason.

Any game that has a villian that just wants to destroy the world with no reason, or just to be evil, is usually a really bad game.  A villian should think he is the hero.