Joe gets a life - Never ending story (Relived)

Then, suddenly, he realizes that his childhood hero, Barney the Purple Dinosaur, died in the explosion. Joe falls to the ground and lets out a wail of despair, screaming, "WHAT HAVE I DONE!"

But his wailing is in vain, as presently he comes face to face with...

Chuck Norris. Chuck says "You made me legally gay. Now I must break you." But coincidently, an 18-Wheeler plowed over Chuck Norris, allowing Joe to escape. Joe then realized he was legally gay to, since he had done Michael Jackson, some dudes from a black van, and Chuck Norris. He wanted to change this immediantly, so...

He cut off his wiener and became legally female and thus not gay. Filled with triumph and happiness (and the inevitable pain that comes with the reasonable phase of cutting off your own wiener), he flung it t some far-off place, which proved to be...

wiener land. Where gay men take their penises when they cut them off. Joe' penis invariabbly comes back with all the other two penises and attacks Joe untill he puts his back one with duct tape. He then saw Mandy Moore outside and decided to...

... take his sausage off again and fling it at her. (Hey, who could resist the chance?) The wiener was about to attack Joe again, when he said, "Sic her, wiener of d00m!" The wiener, therefore, transformed into a wiener of d00m, with...

three heads, and the diameter of an old oak tree! It then flings it self onto Mandy Moore. Then, in 9 months, she has a three headed kid that looks like a penis. During that time, Joe killed five clowns, four mimes, and a juggler. By doind this, he pissed off...

the great, insanely good-looking Irgna, who filled him with morters, but since he can't die, he...

took out all the mortars and shoved them all up Irgna's nose. He then pwned him with his shotgun. After pwning Irgna he met up with a friend of his...

...who happened to be a talking tomato. They went to the...

the gardening show. At one booth, people learned how to make ketchup! After passing by this booth though, Joe's friend "disapeared" 
Joe then went on a bloody rampage, during this he killed...

...both Martha Stewart and Dick Cheney. The police violently chased him down, hungry for his blood. He escaped by jumping into an Oldsmobile, but later crashed into a. . .

black van. This happened to be a government offical vehicle, and he went to jail. In jail, he met a guy named...

Bob from Ohio. They became good friends, but Bob wanted...

Hot and Raunchy sex with Hookers.

Except that Bob was a gay pervert that liked to arange meetings with 13 year olds to have...

gay sex. So Joe murdered with a sawed off when no one was looking. Nobody liked Bob anyway, so no one cared. When Joe finally got out of jail, something extrordianary happened. He...

found a shiny nickel. Joe then bought some expensive candy, except Bob's ghost stole the candy. Joe chased after Bob's Ghost. Then....

Joe called the Ghost Busters to suck up Bob's ghost. The next day, he say a giant marshmallow man as tall as the skyscrapers. He...

Kicked him in the nuts.  Then he roasted him and...

Had enough marshmallows to feed all the hungry children in India. But ate it himself, and threw up in his toilet, alot. It was so bad he had to call a plumber. When the plumber came, he realized that it was...

Time for snorting coke off a hookers ass.

After Joe snorted the coke, he realized the hooker was DEAD! hilarity ensued.  After Joe got rid of the body (no after getting his money's worth) he ran out into the street and...

Realized the plumber had a large bomb in his pants! Which coincidently made his apartment blow up! Then he saw...

A zombie hooker! After Joe grabbed his trusty...

chainsaw and ripped that zombie hookers head out her socket. Since his apartment blew up though, he decided to move to...