Girl Issues.

Ok, im going to preface this with the following:

Do not infer I am Emo. Do not bring the word Emo into this thread in any subsequent posts to this one. I am merely depressed. Nobody is happy all the freaking time.

Onto the point.

So im in this play with this girl. She's nice, pretty, i dunno...Just normal. A change from all the wierdos, goths, and stoners at school. (Yes, girls are stoners to). Anyways, she had been giving all the telltale signs of being interested in me. FLirting, certain subjects, everything short of physically hitting on me (with her body, that is).

So...something happened tonight, and I'm feeling the following emotions-
-Sadness/Depression
-Confusion
-Frustration

Now, what happened. Well, we were talking about people we like at school, because she asked me, and so, im like, wow. this is yet another hint in a large list of hints that she likes me. So, you know, i tell the truth and thats the fact that i dont like anybody at school. And she says that she likes this guy that she's been best friends with since 6th grade, and he likes her However, she says "I'm not sure if I want to date him though". One of the reasons they can't date is because he is her recent ex's best friend.
The OTHER reason is that she wants to be single for a while. Fan-Fucking-Tastic.

So, I'm SAD because she might not like me in that way, but she might know i like her and so our friendship could become really awkward, and I still want to be her friend.

I'm CONFUSED because she later added, when i got really quiet, "i dont know if i want to date him", and she gave off ALL of these signs...like flirting and stuff
 and im FRUSTRATED because EVERY TIME i think a girl likes me, its always as a friend or some shit. its like, wtf? i mean, shes really NICE and PRETTY and NORMAL, and nobody ever flirts with me like she does, and that also adds to the confusion.

So, RMRK, i dont know what to do. Part of me wants to get her to like me. The other part of me says that I should just get over her and be her friend, since I would just be a second anyways, and if this guy she likes hinted at liking her even more she would drop me like a lead brick.
I guess I need some help here.

Shut the fuck up JH you retarded camel shit...
He's trying to be serious here...
I respect him for posting his feelings here...
It's just unfortunate that I can't help him coz im not too shit hot with girls...

Jesus Hitler didnt post...

but thanks...

He did, and finally passed the threashold. That post is gone now, and he's banned.

Good I'm glad...

ah, alright. Mostly, I dont really want to know what he said.

Anyways...anybody actually want to help me know how i can get over her and just be her friend?

Sorry to say this, but she JUST wants to be friends with you. Get over it? To me, it sounds like your in love... If you stay friends with someone you actually feel you love, then it really will do nothing more then depress you further. How much do you like her?

i like her quite a bit...
Ive started to see that I should just be her friend though. She seems to rely on me to be that "comforting friend", you know, who is there to talk about other guys and stuff. And, if you think about it, that isnt a bad spot. And i agree. Acting like just a friend would be a bitch...

I'm afraid there is no easy option. She truly does want you as a friend, but unless she's on the rebound, I don't see anything forming with you past a friendship . While there is a chance something could happen, there's a greater one that it just won't work, and if it doesn't it will eat you up inside.

If you try to continue your relationship with her it may not be healthy, if you think you can get over her ( which is more then hard ) then the friendship has more then a lot to offer.

But I think the best choice would be to slowly ween yourself from her and pursue other more promising relationships. If you hold on to love, it could break your heart...

He did, and finally passed the threashold. That post is gone now, and he's banned.

Why bother lying? Saying that the post was emo wasn't banworthy, you liar. We all know that it's because you got all pissy about that Emily video. Sheesh, you're like a little girl.

seriously? Bitch at the higher authorities somewhere else.

I'm afraid there is no easy option. She truly does want you as a friend, but unless she's on the rebound, I don't see anything forming with you past a friendship . While there is a chance something could happen, there's a greater one that it just won't work, and if it doesn't it will eat you up inside.

If you try to continue your relationship with her it may not be healthy, if you think you can get over her ( which is more then hard ) then the friendship has more then a lot to offer.

But I think the best choice would be to slowly ween yourself from her and pursue other more promising relationships. If you hold on to love, it could break your heart...

yeah...i see what you mean. Im starting to get over it, but here's the thing. I cant not be around her, because we have the play together...And, i think once that is done, by then ill be normal...who knows though.

He did, and finally passed the threashold. That post is gone now, and he's banned.

Why bother lying? Saying that the post was emo wasn't banworthy, you liar. We all know that it's because you got all pissy about that Emily video. Sheesh, you're like a little girl.

Yeah it's not like I, you know, took into account any of your other posts or anything.

@ Lord Dante: The surprise dupe account has been banned, and registration is disabled for a while. Sorry for messing up your thread

no problems Silver, and thanks for that. I'm sure you wouldn't ban him for no reason.
uh...

anybody else have opinions?

yeah...i see what you mean. Im starting to get over it, but here's the thing. I cant not be around her, because we have the play together...And, i think once that is done, by then ill be normal...who knows though.

It will always take time to get over matters of the heart and I'm sure you will be upset for a while longer, but I hope this all works out for the better.
Yeh I'd like to see some more opinions on this matter...




(Greg_Jon..? Lol)

yeah...The wierdest thing is that even if I'm not talking to her about dating or whatever, i feel better. Its like, the friend part of it is taking over, and its like talking to a friend to get my mind off of it. Paradoxial.

Also, i compliment alot of my friends on how they look. (girls). Would it be okay to still do that for her? Just wondering. I dont see why it wouldnt.

...godamnit.

ive gotta stop...

The way I see it you have two options. Stay friends, or tell her how you feel and attempt to become more. The first option is safe, and the only drawback to it is you'll never know what could have been. The second one is a big gamble. You could do as well as ending up together or as badly as her hating you for it. You should decide on your own which option is better.

Or... a third option is...
Write her a note saying some thing along the lines:

"Please read in private:

Dear Carol,
            I have been thinking alot lately and something has gotten me very attracted to you, I am very confused as to wether or not you feel this way also. I have spoken to some of my friends and they have given me some advice. If you don't feel the same please don't be offended as I would like to stay good friends with you as we are now. Please reply after you have thought about it.
                 
                    Yours sincerly,
                                   Dante"


Then mail/email that too her.

Then maybe that would keep it quiet between people at school and she will also have a chance to think about how you feel and how she feels, it has both the friend part and the girlfriend part in the answer...

yes, A_D, that is actually what I was thinking of doing...
And Gigla said, it is a great gamble. Things could end up really awkward if i tell her how i feel,
or...who knows. I think I'll give it a day of thought. In that day, more opinions are welcome. Thanks so far though, I feel im achieving early forms of clarity.

The way I see it you have two options. Stay friends, or tell her how you feel and attempt to become more. The first option is safe, and the only drawback to it is you'll never know what could have been.

It's not safe as I have seen this situation many times. I have lost MANY friendships due to this. If he continues to befriend her, he WILL hold on to his feelings for her which may retard his emotion skills in other sexual relationships.

The second one is a big gamble. You could do as well as ending up together or as badly as her hating you for it. You should decide on your own which option is better.

I'm sorry to say this, but girls flirt with their male friends all of the time, as I know I do, she's expressing that she likes you. It is quite difficult for GIRLS to move past a friendship to something deeper, she's flirty with you because she is comfortable with you. I can almost guarantee that this option will not end well.

Also, i compliment a lot of my friends on how they look. (girls). Would it be okay to still do that for her? Just wondering. I don’t see why it wouldn’t.

No. You can only lie to yourself about your feelings so much, but it also depends on the comments. If it's flirting, then it's showing that your not over her, no matter how 'light hearted' it is. Holding on to hope most likely won't work. If it's a compliment and nothing more, then what ever.

yes, A_D, that is actually what I was thinking of doing...
And Gigla said, it is a great gamble. Things could end up really awkward if i tell her how i feel,
or...who knows. I think I'll give it a day of thought. In that day, more opinions are welcome. Thanks so far though, I feel im achieving early forms of clarity.

If your willing to risk it, as I'm sure you are, then there's not much point in not trying it. IF your willing to put your current relationship on the line. And speak to her in person, please no notes!

( .... I've gone into intelligent debate mode... )

lol, thats alright.

The way I see it you have two options. Stay friends, or tell her how you feel and attempt to become more. The first option is safe, and the only drawback to it is you'll never know what could have been.

It's not safe as I have seen this situation many times. I have lost MANY friendships due to this. If he continues to befriend her, he WILL hold on to his feelings for her which may retard his emotion skills in other sexual relationships.

I can understand what you are saying here, yet I cant all of the sudden just stop being friends with her. For one, id feel like an ass, but more so it just wouldnt be possible. Especially now that the play is about to open, ill have to be around her. That, and her life is kinda dramatic now, and it wouldnt help for me to just start ignoring her or whatever.

The second one is a big gamble. You could do as well as ending up together or as badly as her hating you for it. You should decide on your own which option is better.

I'm sorry to say this, but girls flirt with their male friends all of the time, as I know I do, she's expressing that she likes you. It is quite difficult for GIRLS to move past a friendship to something deeper, she's flirty with you because she is comfortable with you. I can almost guarantee that this option will not end well.

Yeah, I dont really think Ill go for the long shot of trying to go out with her anyways. In the light im looking through now, it looks like this friend vantage point is actually better. I get the flirting and the supporting ability without the drama and such. *shrug*

Also, i compliment a lot of my friends on how they look. (girls). Would it be okay to still do that for her? Just wondering. I don’t see why it wouldn’t.

No. You can only lie to yourself about your feelings so much, but it also depends on the comments. If it's flirting, then it's showing that your not over her, no matter how 'light hearted' it is. Holding on to hope most likely won't work. If it's a compliment and nothing more, then what ever.

Empty compliments. I like making people smile.

yes, A_D, that is actually what I was thinking of doing...
And Gigla said, it is a great gamble. Things could end up really awkward if i tell her how i feel,
or...who knows. I think I'll give it a day of thought. In that day, more opinions are welcome. Thanks so far though, I feel im achieving early forms of clarity.

If your willing to risk it, as I'm sure you are, then there's not much point in not trying it. IF your willing to put your current relationship on the line. And speak to her in person, please no notes!

1. Notes = no. Impersonal isnt the name of the game here.

2.I dont know if im willing to risk the relationship right now. Ill wait and see.

I get the flirting and the supporting ability without the drama and such. *shrug*

That's fine, but don't stop pursuing other girls. 

Hope this has helped you, let us know what happens.

Yea Man....
Good Luck..
I hope for the best of you and Carol...
Or Gloria...
Or Abe...
Or what ever her name is...
GOOD LUCK!!!!

i wont stop pursuing other girls, but the sad thing is, there arent other girls to pursue...

that was why i thought she liked me. Meh, its old news now. I'll let you all know what happens...

Yea Man....
Good Luck..
I hope for the best of you and Carol...
Or Gloria...
Or Abe...
Or what ever her name is...
GOOD LUCK!!!!

lol, Abe. XD.
thanks.

I go with Gilga, dont jump onto her and ask,"WANNA BE MY GF"
Play it kool man. KOOOL.

Wait, be patient, i'm sure you can, wait for any occasion, any occasion, if she really likes you she'll ask you out, if not, then you ask her out, if she says yes, then you're a lucky lad, if not, then i suppose it goodbye tata see you later, know your my hater.

Dude you are sooo mean...
lol...

WHO ME! NAH! I M A GOOOD BOY U C !