Ok, it's a doctor patient joke.
Doctor: I have some bad news for you...
Patient: What, please do tell!
Doctor: Well, you have Alzheimer's and Cancer.
Patient: Oh, good! Well at least I don' have Cancer!
Any one else have some?
A young man who just got his driving license loves to pick on other drivers.
When someone wants to park his car, the young man waited for a while until the car is almost in, then he raced and take over the parking place.
"You have to be young and fast to do it," is what he always says after doing that.
One day, an old man, driving a limousine, wants to park his car.
The young man did the same, then get out from his car, saying, "You have to be young and fast to do it."
The old man didn't stop, he keeps driving back and back, crushing his own car and that young man's car. The young man can't say anything. He was shocked.
The old man stepped out from the car, and he showed a piece of insurance paper.
"You have to be old and rich to do it," he smirked.
Quote from: jap0911 on April 09, 2007, 04:25:49 AM
A young man who just got his driving license loves to pick on other drivers.
When someone wants to park his car, the young man waited for a while until the car is almost in, then he raced and take over the parking place.
"You have to be young and fast to do it," is what he always says after doing that.
One day, an old man, driving a limousine, wants to park his car.
The young man did the same, then get out from his car, saying, "You have to be young and fast to do it."
The old man didn't stop, he keeps driving back and back, crushing his own car and that young man's car. The young man can't say anything. He was shocked.
The old man stepped out from the car, and he showed a piece of insurance paper.
"You have to be old and rich to do it," he smirked.
Funny!
Ok: What is Gray and White on the inside and Red and White on the Outside? -
[spoiler] Campbell's Cream of Elephant Soup [/spoiler]
mmm...elephant, had some of that for dinner last night. Its pretty good, except the skins kind of rough. ;8
haahaha ;D
A doctor walks into the room with an x-ray in his hand and says to the patient:
"When I was young my dad always told me a picture's worth a thousand words! But, all this says is your screwed"
sorta funny...
On the mailman's last stop of his last day of work, he arrives at a beautiful woman's house. She comes to the door, and is wearing only a very small pair of panties. The mailman is flabbergasted when she invites him inside. After an hour of intense sex, the woman cooks him a delicious meal of bacon, eggs, and pancakes. When he is finished, she shows him out, and hands him an envelope with a five dollar bill inside. The mailman turns and says, "I don't understand. Why did you do all of this?"
The woman says, "When I found out that it was your last day, I asked my husband if we should do something special for you. He said, 'Fuck him. Give him five bucks.' Breakfast was my idea."
Funny. ;)
More, I can't think of any...I'll have to check my joke book.
So little billy is hanging with his friend right after Christmas morning, and Billy says "Look what I got! I got some rollerblades, a sports watch, a gameboy, a new tv for my room and a DIRT BIKE! What did you get?" to which his friend replied "Just this new hat" so Billy said "I guess your parents don't love as much as mine" and his friend said "No. it's because I'm not dying from leukemia".
hahahahahahaha! :D Nice one.
My turn:
A man calls up his house from work and a strange voice answers and says "hello"
"Who are you?" Says the man
"I'm the maid"
So the man says "We don't have a maid!"
"Well, you do know, your wife hired me today!"
So the man asks "What is my wife doing?"
The maid replies "She's in bed with her lover"
"IN BED WITH HER LOVER!??!" shouts the man
"Ok, what I want you to do, is go into the coat closet and get the shot gun and shoot my wife and her lover"
"Ok" the maid replies
She sets down the phone and the man hears two gun shots.
The maid comes back and picks up the phone
"Ok, I did it, now what?"
The man says "Take the bodies and through them in the pool"
"Sir, what pool?"
I have another one:
A boy was hiding in his parents closet one day when he sees his mother come in the room with a guy. As they are about to do it, a car pulls up and the lady rushes the man into the closet saying that her husband is home.
The little boy says to the man: Gee, it's dark in here, I think I might scream!
The man says: No, here, I'll give you 10$ 10 not scream.
The little boy repeats this: Gee, it's dark in here, I think I might scream!
The man again says: No, here, I'll give you 20$ to not scream.
The boy does it again: Gee, it's dark in here, I think I might scream!
The man again stops him: No, please stop, I'll give you 50$ to not scream.
The boy shuts up.
The next day the mother takes the boy to confession and tells the boy to tell the priest his sins.
After a minute or so, the boy says this: Gee, it's dark in here, I think I might scream!
The priest says: Let's not start that again!
Both aren't that funny, but ehh...
This is a very old one.
An old man was dying because of cancer. Today is decided to be his last day. In great sadness, his family are surrounding him in his room.
"My wife, are you there?" he asked.
His wife, sobbing and cried greatly, said, "Yes, I'm here, dear."
"Steven, my son, are you there?" he asked.
His son, Steven, trying to hold his tears, and said, "Yes, dad."
"Are you there, Stephanie?" the old man asked.
"yes, dad," answered the daughter, covered her face in tears.
Suddenly, the man wakes up in anger. He shouted,
"THEN WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF OUR SHOP??"
So this patient is at home, waiting for the results of a test. He gets a phone call and it's his friendly doctor.
He says to the doctor, 'Hello, what were the results?'
'Well, I have some good news and bad news,' tells the doctor.
'I'll go with good news,' he says, jokingly.
'You have only twenty-four hours to live.'
'What? How is that good news?!'
'Well the bad news is I was supposed to tell you yesterday...'
That's funny! :D
Hmm.... I got one. I didn't get the one about the lover. Anyways...
A girl goes to the doctor and tells him, "Well, I believe every bone in my body is broken!" The doctor replies, "That can't be true." The girl says that it is so. She takes her index finger and pokes her leg. "OW!" cries the girl. The doctor asks her to poke another part of her body. The girl pokes her arm. "OW!" The doctor finally says to her, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The girl, just like the patient in ataraxy's joke, wishes to hear the good news first. She is told that all her bones in her body are not broken. The bad news is that her finger is broken. XP It was funnier when I heard it because it was blonde joke but I didn't want to be mean :P
what has more brains than kurt cobain?
[spoiler]the wall behind him XD[/spoiler]
Quote from: mastermoo420 on April 10, 2007, 07:45:21 PM
Hmm.... I got one. I didn't get the one about the lover. Anyways...
A girl goes to the doctor and tells him, "Well, I believe every bone in my body is broken!" The doctor replies, "That can't be true." The girl says that it is so. She takes her index finger and pokes her leg. "OW!" cries the girl. The doctor asks her to poke another part of her body. The girl pokes her arm. "OW!" The doctor finally says to her, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The girl, just like the patient in ataraxy's joke, wishes to hear the good news first. She is told that all her bones in her body are not broken. The bad news is that her finger is broken. XP It was funnier when I heard it because it was blonde joke but I didn't want to be mean :P
Heard it.
I forgot to put in the last part about the lover joke.
The punch line is he called the wrong house.
Quote from: NAMKCOR on April 10, 2007, 08:46:26 PM
what has more brains than kurt cobain?
[spoiler]the wall behind him XD[/spoiler]
Oooo Sooo Funny!
Knock Knock
Who's There?
[spoiler] Sal [/Spoiler]
[spoiler]Sal Who?[/spoiler]
[spoiler] Salmonella [/spoiler]
Not that funny, but ok.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
[spoiler] Feminists can't change anything. [/spoiler]
Here's a rather crude joke I heard quite some time ago...
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
[spoiler]Kick his sister in the jaw. [/spoiler]
Lol. That's pretty funny. But circumcision doesn't mean chopping off the whole gol'dang thing!
i dont know if this is really that funny to most ppl but...
whats grosser then gross
[spoiler]opeaning the refrigerator and the rump roast farts in your face...[/spoiler]
Lol. I lol'd because I'm immature. :P
haha, that is funny.
Ok, it's not too funny:
Why does Bill Clinton where boxers?
[spoiler=why?]
For leg warmers
[/spoiler]
Quote from: Mexneto on April 10, 2007, 06:29:30 AM
A boy was hiding in his parents closet one day when he sees his mother come in the room with a guy. As they are about to do it, a car pulls up and the lady rushes the man into the closet saying that her husband is home.
The little boy says to the man: Gee, it's dark in here, I think I might scream!
The man says: No, here, I'll give you 10$ 10 not scream.
The little boy repeats this: Gee, it's dark in here, I think I might scream!
The man again says: No, here, I'll give you 20$ to not scream.
The boy does it again: Gee, it's dark in here, I think I might scream!
The man again stops him: No, please stop, I'll give you 50$ to not scream.
The boy shuts up.
The next day the mother takes the boy to confession and tells the boy to tell the priest his sins.
After a minute or so, the boy says this: Gee, it's dark in here, I think I might scream!
The priest says: Let's not start that again!
That's hilarious.
I have a knock-knock joke, but I need someone to help me with it. I'll start posting it when someone agrees to help me.
An 8 year old girl is in the shower with her mom, and she asks, "Mom, what are those?"
The mother replies, "Those are breasts, honey."
The girl asks, "When will I get those?"
The mother responds, "In a few years."
The next day, the girl is in the shower with her father, and she asks, "Daddy, what is that?"
He says, "That's a penis."
The little girl is curious. "When will I get that?"
The father says, "As soon as your mom goes to work."
Quote from: Holkeye on April 12, 2007, 03:51:13 AM
An 8 year old girl is in the shower with her mom, and she asks, "Mom, what are those?"
The mother replies, "Those are breasts, honey."
The girl asks, "When will I get those?"
The mother responds, "In a few years."
The next day, the girl is in the shower with her father, and she asks, "Daddy, what is that?"
He says, "That's a penis."
The little girl is curious. "When will I get that?"
The father says, "As soon as your mom goes to work."
funniest thing in this topic. :D
Quote from: Holkeye on April 12, 2007, 03:51:13 AM
An 8 year old girl is in the shower with her mom, and she asks, "Mom, what are those?"
The mother replies, "Those are breasts, honey."
The girl asks, "When will I get those?"
The mother responds, "In a few years."
The next day, the girl is in the shower with her father, and she asks, "Daddy, what is that?"
He says, "That's a penis."
The little girl is curious. "When will I get that?"
The father says, "As soon as your mom goes to work."
That's funny, but very disgusting!
Laugh my fucking ass off.
AHAHAHAHAHA! HAHA!
Oh My god!
XD
That made me laugh so hard!
:lol:
Holk's joke, that is.
Some one want to tell a new joke? I'm out, unless none of you are blond.
A nurse is at the shops.
She needs to write a cheque so she reaches into her purse to grab a pen.
She pulls out an anal thermometer.
"Oh great" She exclaims
"Some assholes got my pen.
The seven dwarves hop into the bath.
They all start feeling sleepy so he hops out.
LOL nice one A_D, i'll think one up in some time.
Thuogh i dont think, never learned how to.
Well, this is kind of funny.
[spoiler]
An Interior Designer was at a lady's house with a pad of paper and a pen to write down what the lady wanted what. So, in the lady's living room, she said: I want this room a nice Blue.
So the interior designer wrote it down, went over to the window and yelled: GREEN SIDE UP!
So, they entered the library and she said she wanted it painted a nice relaxing violet, so she wrote this down, went over to the window and yelled: GREEN SIDE UP!
They next went into the bedroom and she said wanted this room painted pink, so the designer wrote this down and went over to the window and yelled: GREEN SIDE UP!
Puzzled, the lady asked why she kept going over to the window and yelling "GREEN SIDE UP!", she asked her and the reply was simple: I have a bunch of blonds laying turf across the street.
I've got another one:
Three blonds were hiking in the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first one said: I think they're deer tracks
The second one said: I think they're mouse tracks
The third one said: I think they're elk tracks
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
[/spoiler]
There was a man speeding down the road at almost 100mph. This cop pulls him over.
Cop "drivers licence please."
Man "I don't have one"
Cop "Then can I see your car insurance"
Man "This is not my car"
Cop "then who's is it?"
Man "It belongs to the person in the trunk."
The cop freaks out and runs back to his car, he radios in back up and the man is surrounded.
Another cop walks up to the car.
Cop2 "Whats going on here?" :
Man "I don't know, but that man is crazy..."
They search his car. He has a drivers licence, car insurance, there is no body in the trunk.
Man "He probaby even told you I was speeding."
Quote from: BanisherOfEden on April 16, 2007, 04:51:18 PM
There was a man speeding down the road at almost 100mph. This cop pulls him over.
Cop "drivers licence please."
Man "I don't have one"
Cop "Then can I see your car insurance"
Man "This is not my car"
Cop "then who's is it?"
Man "It belongs to the person in the trunk."
The cop freaks out and runs back to his car, he radios in back up and the man is surrounded.
Another cop walks up to the car.
Cop2 "Whats going on here?" :
Man "I don't know, but that man is crazy..."
They search his car. He has a drivers licence, car insurance, there is no body in the trunk.
Man "He probaby even told you I was speeding."
LMFAO!!! That is hilarious!!! *dies laughing*
Lol. I saw that in ebaumsworld before. Here's one that's slightly funny:
Three women were caught for murder and were found guilty. They were all to be shot. One was a brunette, one a black-haired girl, and one a blonde. At the stage, the policeman lined them up. The brunette was first and when asked for anything as her last request, she said she had none. The chief started to say, "Ready, aim..." The brunette yelled, "TORNADO!" They all looked around and the brunette escaped. The black-haired girl was next and said she had no last requests. The chief started... "Ready, aim..." The black-haired girl yelled, "LIGHTNING STORM!" She escaped. The blonde was up and had no requests. The chief started... "Ready, aim..." "FIRE!" :P
Ah, that's pretty funny.
I'm sure every ones heard this one. But what the fuck.
An old couple is celebrating their 50th annrversary, so the go back to the hotel where they had their honey moon. The wife rips off her clothes jumps on the bed and spreads her legs wide open. Yet all the husband can say is, "Fifty years ago I couldn't wait to eat it, now it looks like it can't wait to eat me."
Laff :V
:D Pretty funny, and no, I haven't heard it before...
I've sai it on the forums like 3-4 times, I thought every ones seen it. :-\
Nope...Well, I have a dirty joke: (It's sort of like Sexual's)
[spoiler=dirty joke]
One morning, the wife says to her husband in bed, "I had the strangest dream! Is was in an auction and is was a penis auction, and the really large ones sold for high prices, and the smalls one were cheap!"
So the husband asked "What about mine, how much would mine go for?"
"Oh, yours would go for pennies", the wife saying.
The next morning, the man said to his wife in bed, "I had the strangest dream!"
"Really? What was it about?" Said the wife.
"Well, it was a Vagina Auction!, the really tight ones sold for millions of dollars, and the loose ones sold for pennies", said the husband.
"Well, what about mine?" said the wife.
"Hah! That's where it was held!"
[/spoiler]
Lol. Your spoiler didn't work. You forgot a [/spoiler] at the end. And I guess that was funny. Kind of mean to each other XD
Okay one of my longest ones which isnt that funny really.
Three boys are walking home from school one day when they see a hole in the fence.
When they peer through the hole they see a hot young woman sunbathing completley naked.
Then suddenly Jimmy, one of the boys, screams and runs away.
The next day the boys are walking home and they look through the hole again.
Yet again the young woman is sunbathing naked and again Jimmy screams and runs away.
The other two boys think this is pretty weird.
The next day it all happens again but this time the other two boys stop Jimmy and ask him why he runs away screaming.
"Well" said Jimmy
"Mum says if I ever look at a naked woman I will turn to stone and well when we were spying on that lady I felt somthing going hard"
Lol. I found it funny.
That's not really funny....
I did say it wasnt that funny
I know.
;)
What do you call a Chicken Crossing the road:
[spoiler]
Poultry in Motion[/spoiler]
I thought that one was ok.
This is from Pete and Brian (youtube)
So a priest a Rabbi, and a SHaman walk into a bar...
except there isnt a Rabbi or a Shaman...
And its my 8th birthday.
...and im being molested by the priest...
..whos my dad. WHo isnt a priest.
My dad molested me.
Quote from: Lord Dante on April 18, 2007, 05:48:38 AM
This is from Pete and Brian (youtube)
So a priest a Rabbi, and a SHaman walk into a bar...
except there isnt a Rabbi or a Shaman...
And its my 8th birthday.
...and im being molested by the priest...
..whos my dad. WHo isnt a priest.
My dad molested me.
LOL, win.
Lol,
yeah. You should watch their other stuff. 20 questions is great.
Quote from: Lord Dante on April 18, 2007, 05:48:38 AM
This is from Pete and Brian (youtube)
So a priest a Rabbi, and a SHaman walk into a bar...
except there isnt a Rabbi or a Shaman...
And its my 8th birthday.
...and im being molested by the priest...
..whos my dad. WHo isnt a priest.
My dad molested me.
That's not really that funny....
This is a pretty funny joke I guess:
A married man took a solo trip to Bermuda that was part work.
He fell so inlove with the place, that he called his friend and said: "Take the next plain here with your mistress!"
The friend said: "Your wife and I are arriving at 4:30 PM, but hopw long have you known about us?"
Lame.
Ok, here's a cannibal joke:
Oh so funny!
Three men lost in a jungle were captured by Cannibals. The cannibal king told the men they could live if they successfully under took a trial. The first step of the trial was for each to go into the forest and collect ten pieces of fruit of the same kind. So they all took their separate ways. The first came back with ten apples.
"You have to shove the fruits up your ass with out an expression for making a noise, and if you do, you will be eaten!"
The first mas shoved one apple up his ass, on the second one he winced, and was eaten by the cannibals.
The second man came back with ten berries. He inserted the first nine without making a sound or an expression. But on the tenth, he burst into laughter.
Before he was eaten, the cannibal king asked him: "You got nine up, but why did you laugh on the last one?!?!"
The man replied: "I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples!"
Ok, one last cannibal joke:
A french man, an english man and a new yorker were captured by cannibals.
The king said: "You will be killed, eaten and your skin will be used for canoes, but I will aske you how you want to die."
The French asked for a sword and yelled "Vive la france!" before plunging it into his heart.
The english man asked for a gun and yelled "Long live the queen!" and then blew his brains out.
The new yorker asked for a fork, and started stabbing himself all over until he had many holes in him and was pouring blood. The cannibal king asked: "Why are you doing that to your self?"
"There goes your god damned canoe!" Yelled the new yorker.
LOL!
I heard the first, but it had to do with a farmer's daughter...
The second one is great :tpg:
I know, isn't it?
I couldn't stop laughing the first time I heard it. :tpg:
That's neat Mexento.
Got this from a random newspaper jokey part:-
A famous Hypnotist had a show. Many people were there to watch it. The hypnotist took out his pendulum thingy and started rolling it.
The people were getting the effect.
The Hypnotist told them to stand, they stood, he told them to jump, they jumped. But the pendulum suddenly fell out of his hand, and he said, "SHIT!"
And it took 3 days to clean the stage.
Lol. That's a funny one. I also like the first cannibal one. I need to find some more jokes to tell...
This is a long one, but I find it pretty good.
A woman was cheating on her husband with Peter on a rainy day. From down stairs, they heard the front door open and her husband's voice.
"Quick, jump out of here from the window! He has a gun and a bad temper!" The woman exclaimed to Peter.
In panic, Peter quickly grabbed his clothes by the arm and hopped out of the window. There happened to be a marathon going on, so he quickly blended in the middle of the runners.
Eventually, the runners started questioning him.
The first runner asked, "Do you always run naked?"
Peter answered, "Yes, it makes me feel so free!"
The another runner then asked, "Do you always run with your clothes under your arm?"
"Yes, that way I can put them back on fast after the run."
"Do you always run with your condom on?" Questioned the third runner.
"No," Peter answered. "Only when it's raining."
Pretty funny.
nice.
A old marred couple are in bed and the woman asks for oral, the man says yes and goes down, after a few seconds he comes back up and says ' thats disgusting, what the hell' the woman looks down and replys 'i have arthritis'
the man looks amazed 'how do you get that there'
'i don't, i have it in my arms, its hard to wipe your ass when you cant move your arms properly'
:@
It's funny...but disgusting
I didn't get it.
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
Kinda of nasty but i am sure you all are grown men!
Quote from: link_999 on April 22, 2007, 02:39:04 PM
A old marred couple are in bed and the woman asks for oral, the man says yes and goes down, after a few seconds he comes back up and says ' thats disgusting, what the hell' the woman looks down and replys 'i have arthritis'
the man looks amazed 'how do you get that there'
'i don't, i have it in my arms, its hard to wipe your ass when you cant move your arms properly'
Quote from: oneray on April 23, 2007, 08:50:50 PM
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
Kinda of nasty but i am sure you all are grown men!
I don't get either of them.... ;9
I got the second one but not the first. ::)
I'm guessing for the second one, it was talking about a girl's private part?
Aye! ;D
Here is another one:
what men would do if they had a vagina for a day
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
and for the ladies
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9......
That was on ebaumsworld, too. ><
85% of men masturbate in the shower.
15% sing.
What song do they sing?
[spoiler]I didn't think you would know.[/spoiler]
Well, I can't say that's not totally stupid, but I don't get the last part, is it saying that they don't sing?
Quote from: Mexneto on April 24, 2007, 07:33:31 AM
Well, I can't say that's not totally stupid, but I don't get the last part, is it saying that they don't sing?
It's saying your on of the ones who masturbate rather then sing. That's why you don't know what the song is.
I find that funny how the joke was directed at guys yet they didn't get it but DS did. >_>
OH!!! I GET IT! :tpg:
But, no, I sing Jamiroquai, or some band like Kinky. (I know, ironic. But they're a techno ish group)
I just fall asleep... ;8
in the shower? what?
I have no regrets not knowing that song ;8
Hilly Billy joke
A guy was travelling to the country side when he reached upon a lake. The hilly billy was sitting under the shade of a tree. The traveller asked,"Is this water shallow enough to drive on?" The hilly billy nodded and the traveller went it. His car drowned and he came out wet and struggling for breath.
"ARE YOU MAD!" he exclaimed, "You told the water was shallow enough to drive on! But it's very deep, about 10 feet deep! I could've drowned and died in there!"
The Hilly Billy shrugged and said, "It comes up to the waist of the ducks!"
Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
:zoid:
Quote from: biohazard on April 27, 2007, 11:42:45 AM
I have no regrets not knowing that song ;8
The song is Whistle While you Work. ( :bean: Heh, get it?)
And I found the hill billy joke pretty funny.
And the blond one is also pretty funny.
Don't know if this has been posted, but I'm not reading through four pages~
What's better then winning a gold medal at the Paralympic Games?
Being able to walk.
HAHAHA! :tpg:
Very funny!
"Doctor Doctor! My husband thinks he's a refridgerator!"
"Bring him next week, i am not free till then?"
"Next week! No sleep for 7 days!!!"
"How is this related to sleep!?"
"When he snores, light comes out of his mouth"
"Doctor Doctor, My husband thinks he's a chocolate bar!"
"Well, atleast he's only half-nuts!"
"Doctor Doctor, my wife things she's a parking lot-collector thingy"
"Bring her in tomorrow"
"Can't, the parking lady will take the money out of her mouth next week and she will be free only then"
"Doctor! Help me, i like bowties!"
"What's wrong with that, i prefer them too"
"Really? Raw or Cooked?"
"Doctor Doctor! Help me! My wife washes the car everyday!"
"What's wrong in that? I thought husbands love it if there wife wash the car"
"In the Bathtub!??"
A mom came to a doctor with her son. She was angry, "Doctor can a 6 year old perform an appendix surgeory?"
"Ofcourse not!"
"See Jonny? Now you put that back!"
Quote from: Nightwolf on April 28, 2007, 05:03:00 AM
"Doctor Doctor! My husband thinks he's a refridgerator!"
"Bring him next week, i am not free till then?"
"Next week! No sleep for 7 days!!!"
"How is this related to sleep!?"
"When he snores, light comes out of his mouth"
"Doctor Doctor, My husband thinks he's a chocolate bar!"
"Well, atleast he's only half-nuts!"
"Doctor Doctor, my wife things she's a parking lot-collector thingy"
"Bring her in tomorrow"
"Can't, the parking lady will take the money out of her mouth next week and she will be free only then"
"Doctor! Help me, i like bowties!"
"What's wrong with that, i prefer them too"
"Really? Raw or Cooked?"
"Doctor Doctor! Help me! My wife washes the car everyday!"
"What's wrong in that? I thought husbands love it if there wife wash the car"
"In the Bathtub!??"
A mom came to a doctor with her son. She was angry, "Doctor can a 6 year old perform an appendix surgeory?"
"Ofcourse not!"
"See Jonny? Now you put that back!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :tpg: :tpg:
One of the best so far!
REZ!
[spoiler=The Joke]There was a Korean guy (I'm hating against myself XD) who like to eat dogs. He knew a bit of English and moved to America. He saw a hot dog selling place when he said "HEY! They sell dog here, too!" He went in and bought a hot dog and then just put the plate down and didn't eat. When the manager asked him what was wrong, the Korean man said "I don't eat this part of the dog"[/spoiler]
I pissed myslef at that last one!
Isn't that just a fake stereo type?
Teacher:- Steve, if your father had 10$ and you asked him for 5$ then how much would he have left with him?
Steve:- 10$
Teacher:- WTF, YOU DONT KNOW YOUR MATH!
Steve:- You don't know my father!
That's pretty funny....
Quote from: Mexneto on May 03, 2007, 05:04:46 AM
Isn't that just a fake stereo type?
It's a joke... Also, I'm Korean. XD