I have a funny joke...

An 8 year old girl is in the shower with her mom, and she asks, "Mom, what are those?"
The mother replies, "Those are breasts, honey."
The girl asks, "When will I get those?"
The mother responds, "In a few years."
The next day, the girl is in the shower with her father, and she asks, "Daddy, what is that?"
He says, "That's a penis."
The little girl is curious. "When will I get that?"
The father says, "As soon as your mom goes to work."

funniest thing in this topic. 

An 8 year old girl is in the shower with her mom, and she asks, "Mom, what are those?"
The mother replies, "Those are breasts, honey."
The girl asks, "When will I get those?"
The mother responds, "In a few years."
The next day, the girl is in the shower with her father, and she asks, "Daddy, what is that?"
He says, "That's a penis."
The little girl is curious. "When will I get that?"
The father says, "As soon as your mom goes to work."

That's funny, but very disgusting!

Laugh my fucking ass off.

AHAHAHAHAHA! HAHA!
Oh My god!
XD
That made me laugh so hard!


Holk's joke, that is.

Some one want to tell a new joke? I'm out, unless none of you are blond.

A nurse is at the shops.
She needs to write a cheque so she reaches into her purse to grab a pen.
She pulls out an anal thermometer.
"Oh great" She exclaims
"Some assholes got my pen.
The seven dwarves hop into the bath.
They all start feeling sleepy so he hops out.

LOL nice one A_D, i'll think one up in some time.

Thuogh i dont think, never learned how to.

Well, this is kind of funny.

Spoiler for:

An Interior Designer was at a lady's house with a pad of paper and a pen to write down what the lady wanted what. So, in the lady's living room, she said: I want this room a nice Blue.
So the interior designer wrote it down, went over to the window and yelled: GREEN SIDE UP!
So, they entered the library and she said she wanted it painted a nice relaxing violet, so she wrote this down, went over to the window and yelled: GREEN SIDE UP!
They next went into the bedroom and she said wanted this room painted pink, so the designer wrote this down and went over to the window and yelled: GREEN SIDE UP!
Puzzled, the lady asked why she kept going over to the window and yelling "GREEN SIDE UP!", she asked her and the reply was simple: I have a bunch of blonds laying turf across the street.

I've got another one:

Three blonds were hiking in the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first one said: I think they're deer tracks
The second one said: I think they're mouse tracks
The third one said: I think they're elk tracks
They were still arguing when the train hit them.

There was a man speeding down the road at almost 100mph. This cop pulls him over.

Cop "drivers licence please."
Man "I don't have one"
Cop "Then can I see your car insurance" 
Man "This is not my car" 
Cop "then who's is it?" 
Man "It belongs to the person in the trunk." 

The cop freaks out and runs back to his car, he radios in back up and the man is surrounded.
Another cop walks up to the car.

Cop2 "Whats going on here?"  :
Man "I don't know, but that man is crazy..." 

They search his car. He has a drivers licence, car insurance, there is no body in the trunk.

Man "He probaby even told you I was speeding."

There was a man speeding down the road at almost 100mph. This cop pulls him over.

Cop "drivers licence please."
Man "I don't have one"
Cop "Then can I see your car insurance" 
Man "This is not my car" 
Cop "then who's is it?" 
Man "It belongs to the person in the trunk." 

The cop freaks out and runs back to his car, he radios in back up and the man is surrounded.
Another cop walks up to the car.

Cop2 "Whats going on here?"  :
Man "I don't know, but that man is crazy..." 

They search his car. He has a drivers licence, car insurance, there is no body in the trunk.

Man "He probaby even told you I was speeding."

LMFAO!!! That is hilarious!!! *dies laughing*

Lol. I saw that in ebaumsworld before. Here's one that's slightly funny:

Three women were caught for murder and were found guilty. They were all to be shot. One was a brunette, one a black-haired girl, and one a blonde. At the stage, the policeman lined them up. The brunette was first and when asked for anything as her last request, she said she had none. The chief started to say, "Ready, aim..." The brunette yelled, "TORNADO!" They all looked around and the brunette escaped. The black-haired girl was next and said she had no last requests. The chief started... "Ready, aim..." The black-haired girl yelled, "LIGHTNING STORM!" She escaped. The blonde was up and had no requests. The chief started... "Ready, aim..." "FIRE!"

Ah, that's pretty funny.

I'm sure every ones heard this one. But what the fuck.

An old couple is celebrating their 50th annrversary, so the go back to the hotel where they had their honey moon. The wife rips off her clothes jumps on the bed and spreads her legs wide open. Yet all the husband can say is, "Fifty years ago I couldn't wait to eat it, now it looks like it can't wait to eat me."


Laff

  Pretty funny, and no, I haven't heard it before...

I've sai it on the forums like 3-4 times, I thought every ones seen it. 

Nope...Well, I have a dirty joke: (It's sort of like Sexual's)

Spoiler for dirty joke:

One morning, the wife says to her husband in bed, "I had the strangest dream! Is was in an auction and is was a penis auction, and the really large ones sold for high prices, and the smalls one were cheap!"
So the husband asked "What about mine, how much would mine go for?"
"Oh, yours would go for pennies", the wife saying.
The next morning, the man said to his wife in bed, "I had the strangest dream!"
"Really? What was it about?" Said the wife.
"Well, it was a Vagina Auction!, the really tight ones sold for millions of dollars, and the loose ones sold for pennies", said the husband.
"Well, what about mine?" said the wife.
"Hah! That's where it was held!"

Lol. Your spoiler didn't work. You forgot a

Code: [Select]

[/spoiler]

at the end. And I guess that was funny. Kind of mean to each other XD

Okay one of my longest ones which isnt that funny really.

Three boys are walking home from school one day when they see a hole in the fence.
When they peer through the hole they see a hot young woman sunbathing completley naked.
Then suddenly Jimmy, one of the boys, screams and runs away.
The next day the boys are walking home and they look through the hole again.
Yet again the young woman is sunbathing naked and again Jimmy screams and runs away.
The other two boys think this is pretty weird.
The next day it all happens again but this time the other two boys stop Jimmy and ask him why he runs away screaming.
"Well" said Jimmy
"Mum says if I ever look at a naked woman I will turn to stone and well when we were spying on that lady I felt somthing going hard"

Lol. I found it funny.

That's not really funny....

I did say it wasnt that funny

I know.

 

What do you call a Chicken Crossing the road:

Spoiler for:

Poultry in Motion

I thought that one was ok.

This is from Pete and Brian (youtube)

So a priest a Rabbi, and a SHaman walk into a bar...

except there isnt a Rabbi or a Shaman...

And its my 8th birthday.

...and im being molested by the priest...
..whos my dad. WHo isnt a priest.


My dad molested me.

This is from Pete and Brian (youtube)

So a priest a Rabbi, and a SHaman walk into a bar...

except there isnt a Rabbi or a Shaman...

And its my 8th birthday.

...and im being molested by the priest...
..whos my dad. WHo isnt a priest.


My dad molested me.

LOL, win.

Lol,
yeah. You should watch their other stuff. 20 questions is great.