Finish the proverb

Okay, new game. Just post the beginning of a proverb and give it a new ending.

For example:

Original:

If at first you don't succeed, ... try and try again

Modified:

If at first you don't succeed, ... kill Jared Leto.

Except make it funny, instead of stupid. You can use the same proverb someone else has used, and you can post as many versions of any proverb as you like. Go.

The early bird always gets the...

chevy

Don't bite the hand ...


(and try to put a proverb beginning as well as the ending to this, so that we can speed things up. i.e. if you finish a proverb, start a new proverb)

that rubs you.


A journey of a thousand miles must start...

after one refills the gas tank.

He who is overcome by greed...

gets his head chopped off by Somalian .
(I'm really not so good at this. I should make games up that I'm good at from now on)

It is always darkest before...

spreading the cheeks.      <.< (couldnt think of anything lol)


Sticks and stones may break my bones, but....

my god why did you have to use a gun.

Keep your friends close and your enemies...

... in a tank of killer pirranhas.

Cleanliness is next to...

... in a tank of killer pirranhas.

Cleanliness is next to...

... an odd fellow named Patel. He's an inventor.


A penny saved is ...

EDIT:

Oh and <3 "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but my god why did you have to use a gun."

... is the last thing that goes throught your mind as you get swallowed up by a giant gerbil.

Where there's a will....

... There's money involved.

What you don't know...

... will eat you on monday.

You can't make an omlette....

without ten tons of lard

Its better to lose a battle than to...

...give up your star trek action figure collection.

Behind every great man...

... is a gay guy bending forward.

One man's loss is another man's...

girlfriend.

Keep your friends close and your enemies...

... in the crosshairs

Discretion is the better part ...

of having sex.

If there was no life there would be...

...chance to wreak molten death on the weakest parts of it.

A mind is a terrible thing...

...without apple sauce 

A home without a cat...

is like a cat without a home?

No one is...

without pants.

Curiosity...

IS MOST AROUSING!

When in doubt,...

punch a baby.

Ask not what you can do for yourself,...

.... else you will be squashed by a giant purple lizard.

Time is...

a figment of your imagination.

What goes around...

comes around as a pile of poo and splats in your face.

Fool me once, shame on you!
Fool me twice...

Shame on YOU!

Be....

A Big Pila Poop.



Boxer who chews foot

... is less likely to chew ears.

(never heard of that proverb)

A penny saved is...

is a hour wasted of your life when you start to count them up later and mess up 3 times.

Hell hath no fury like a...

an  angry black woman

[WARNING! CHRISTIAN PROVERB!]

Spoiler for:

The fear of God is the begining of knowledge, but fools despise...

seeing unmaried USA, state of florida, women parachute on a sunday.

If you fail....

you will fed to the donkeys....

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man...

..fail to achieve life's only ultimate goal - reaching level 99 with all equips +9 socketed with gems and stuff in a random mmorpg.

Throwing air guitars at random people is only good if....

they are bleeders!

To be, or not to be, that is...

... not a proverb 

When the blind leadeth the blind, ...

they lose at halo.

Guns don't kill people...

....AIDS do!

In darkness...

...nobody can see if you get raped.

What goes around...

What goes around, keeps going around...

A man is known by the....

person he's screwing.

curiosity killed...

the Aztecs. They got too close to an active volcano.

Time is...

nothing compared to Chuck Norris.

(Got this out of a fortune cookie)

If you fear nothing, than you are not man, but if you fear...

but if you fear...


Then you are not from 4chan.

(You forgot the proverb)

Violence is not the answer...

Rape is.


Treat others the way...

the way you wished some hot girl would treat you.

The sun rises in the east and sets in the

Ocean.

What's cool is not always what's...

homosexual.

Daft Punk Is playing at my...

(Yeah, I know, LCD Soundsystem sucks but I couldn't think of anything else)

local pub. He's a one man band.

Two heads are better than....

41.

Is this the real life, is this just fantasy, caught in a land slide oh escape from....

under my bed.

When life gives you lemons...

Stick them into your girlfriend.

Snake? SNAKE?! SNAAAAKKKKEE?!!?!

(that's not rly a proverb)
... in my pants

Once a chav always a...

(It is if you have played Metal Gear Solid)

brit guy.

What goes around...

"cums" around.

Treat others...

like you see what monsters do to girls in Hentai videos.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on...

...shame on... won't get fooled again

You're never too old to...

... die young

A bird in the hand...

...prevents it from rubbing the bush.

AHA! YOU ARE...

THE WEAKEST LINK! GOODBYE


A stitch in time saves....

A FOOL!

"This is Madness!"

"...Madness? THIS, IS,[...]"

(300 Joke, d'oh!)

Edit: Fix'd.

RMRK!!!!!

Sticks and stones may break my bones but...

...you're still the one chosen by fadark.

Waste not,...

... live not.

A woman's place is in ...

bed, or handcuffed to it to be precise.

There's no place like...

dwarra.

Friends, Countrymen, lend me your

extentendible rubber cocks.



What comes around....

... becomes a prostitute in Boston because she adultered and caused the deaths of twenty people.

An ounce of discretion ...

leads to 1000 milliliters, AKA The answer to my Chem homework.


All of the internet is a series of...

a web that loves to catch pr0n.

All your base are...

being used as the only joke from the internet not from 4chan.

Guns don't kill people...

People kill guns.

Show me the...

robots.

Lucy in the sky with...

with a pizza in her eye, is only the worst to come.

THumb up the bum...

With something on your lamenting.

What?! What are you doing?! We can't stop here, this is...

...SPARTAAAAAAA!

There once was a man from nantucket...

He once left this forum saying "Fuck it!"

Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that...

nobcheese

Why do something yourself when...

you can sell your soul to the devil and have him do it!

And the Lord said let there be...

spontanious combustion



On the sixths day, gawd made...

a computer.


Cat in house is better than

...a cat in your ass

jack be nimble jack be quick jack jump over the candle....

but jack burned his ass.

Jack burn ass, jack burn dog, dog burn jack

wtfuck? I'm not sure how to respond? Ass burn jack?

A burnt child dreads ...

...barbeque sauce

 ...

...

Wizard who crushes wand-

is heby known as a douche bag

He who speaks foolish notions...

...might be black

Sitting on a cactus is better than...

sitting on irockman's lap

He who has sex..

has gotten more than Irock.

Pimpin' aint easy...

Unless your bitches come up easy.

Keep your friends close and your enemies...

In your pants.

If you like cheese, then...

...then you are a packers fan

Outrunning a cop is....

...not as important as outrunning the guy running next to you.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice...

shame on YOU

 Never give...

...a cookie to a mouse
(and if you get reference I'll give YOU a cookie)

one in the basket, two in the....

her pants.

(a child's book I once had maybe?)

Chuck Norris...

...will roundhouse kick you into space

watcha gonna do when they....

come on you.

GTFO mah

When life gives you lemons...

...play the game right!

Blah Blah, yadda yadda.....

...get a bra and do lambada.

A picture is worth 1,000 words, but a....

1,000 pictures is worth way more than that




speaking of bras.....