I have been writing a story, Chain of Hearts, I wanted to see what you guys at RMRK think of it, please tell me what you think and what I can improve, this is only the first chapter because I have only started last week. This is the setting of the rest of the story:
Chapter 1:
Leon's Awakening
In a world which flourishes with a population of people, kind at heart, basking in free will and sorrowless loves in a world known as Orgion, lives a man, a man that has never loved, never felt at home, never touched another being and only has grasped a sword between his hands, named Leon Kilorn. Leon is a mercenary, carrying orders of violence for his way of life, never backing down from a job he has to carry out and always ready to do what he has to do, is about to be awakened, in the Chain of Hearts........
A breezy morning, a morning just about right for a days work, Leon goes to the town Relo to see if there is any mernary jobs he can do. He find a place named "Bonds, mercenaries welcome", he does not hesitates and walks in. An old man, holding a pipe is at the counter of the place. "What can I do you for?" Asked Old Man, Leon, not talking, points at the bonds he can see behind the man at the counter, "Ahh....I see, you are a mercenary aren't you, pick anyone, they all differ in rewards". Leon looked at all bonds, he is not a man who goes for the easiest, he will always find a challenge for himself, so he picks one. "!?", the Old Man was startled at his choice of bond. "No, you sure you don't want an easier one, why not this one, only can get 1,200 Meseta but you have a chance of living", Leon, looking at the Old Man with a silent, awkward stare, knowing that Leon has already has made up his mind, the Old Man gives up and gives him the bond papers. "Here, sign here to say that you know what you are getting yourself into" said the Old Man, "Not that I don't think you do...." mumbled the Old Man.
Leon leaves the place and stocks up on supplies for the journey for the person he is after. While he is just finishing putting all the potions inside his backpack, a girl runs in and trips over his backpack, smashing all the potions inside and outside of the backpack. "Oh.....I am sorry, I am a bit of a clutz" Bashfully said by the girl. Leon looked at the green haired girl and finds out that she is an Elf girl although Leon knows that Elves do not come at this part of the world unless there is a good reason. Leon keeps staring at the mini-skirted Elf girl until "Umm.....So.....Ahh....What's your name?", Leon is in prodicament, he has never been asked his name before, the only way he knew he was named Leon Kilorn is from the tags he always had since he was with his deceased foster parents.
"L..e....o...n" stuttered Leon, "Leon? Nice Name! So...Listen.....Anyway I can repay you?", Leon starts thinking about how she can repay for the damages she caused and then it finally hits him. Leon shows the Elf girl the bond he has, as she is equipped with a bow, she can atleast help with the monsters on the way and the bond bounty. "Wait, you want me to go on a bond with you?" Leon nods his head and shows where the bond bounty is, which is in the Desert of Gogo, 30 miles from Relo. "Gogo you say? Lucky you! I am on my way to Youn which is through Gogo!" the elf girl said in glea. "I will join you on your bond, by the way, my name is Tiyu, Tiyu Opea". Leon and Tiyu re-stocked supplies, left the village and went on there way to the Gogo Desert.
Discord
Light Style