[Writing] I just found this!

[threeofspades]

This is a short story I wrote for my Creative Writing class in the 11th grade! lol

Tell me what you think.

Bindings

   Have you ever loved someone enough to die for them? Okay, what about kill for them? That's how I felt about her. Why, I have no fucking idea. I wish I didn't. I wish I never laid my eyes on that woman. Cliched I know, but it's a good expression. Sometimes I sit and think about the early days of our love and how good it all felt. Of course that always leads into the day she left me for my best friend.
   I've felt completely alone the past couple of weeks. My brother came by to see how I was doing. He was surprised at my state I suppose. To a rational thinking person I guess it wouldn't make sense at how depressed I am for just losing a girl. He told me all the things they always tell you. There's plenty of other fish in the sea.
   "She isn't a fish. She's a woman, Gabriel. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. And she's with him."
   "Gavin," He looked down at my pitiful state and took my head out of my hands, forcing me to look into his eyes, "Please, listen to me, my brother, you mean the world to me. I hate seeing you like this. I know it's hard, Gavin, but you'll be alright, I promise, you'll be alright. It just takes time to heal from these things. But in time, you'll heal."
   I know he meant well but the only thing I could think of was how wrong he was about time healing things. Sometimes time just makes you want it even more or just yearn for death so you don't have to deal with the pain anymore.
   It's so strange. I know how crazy it is and I don't want to feel this way but it feels like a part of myself was ripped away when she left. I feel as though I have to be with her and I'll die if I can't get to her. Stranger still, I only knew her for a month.
   I woke up at nine in the morning to my phone ringing. It was my so-called friend, Cole. He called to see how I was fairing after the whole "exchange". I told him that I was doing better now and it hurt a lot less knowing that she was with him and not some strange guy from a bar. In short, I lied. Unfortunately since I told him that he wanted to know if I could go to our local bar this evening and "chat". I wanted to say no but I thought that would have been too suspicious. After all, he did sound very sincere on the phone and I wanted to know what exactly this "little chat" was about.

[Fall From Eden]

Cliffhanger much?

So... do you have any plans to finish (or revise) this, or are you just wanting to leave it as-is? Right now, there doesn't seem to be too much to really comment on, but it would be interesting to learn why this woman was so important to Gavin, and therefore why he is so devastated by her leaving; on the other hand, it would be interesting to learn why she left -- even if that's only explained from Gavin's perspective (considering it's written in first-person). (And please forgive that run-on sentence. )

In short, it would be nice to see more of where you were going with this if you're up to finishing it someday.

[modern algebra]

A man with feelings!? Blasphemy! I demand you retract your story!

It seems alright so far though obviously it's incomplete; you misspelled "faring" but that's obviously not a big deal, and I am intrigued at what Cole has to say.

The brother's speech seemed a little contrived, but it wasn't bad either.

I would also replace "my so-called friend" - it might just be a personal quirk of mine, but I always cringe when I hear the line and I think there are better ways to indicate that it is Cole for whom she left Gavin.

All in all though, I think it is promising.

[haloOfTheSun]

They posted pretty much what I was going to lol

I'd like to see more~

[Fall From Eden]

I'd like to see more~

So would we, it definitely has the potential to be wonderful.

(And it seems at least a few people are hoping that this will be finished now. )

[threeofspades]

It's like this because it was actually a timed writing for a class I took. So that's why it seems underdeveloped...

[Jules]

Well everyone already said what I was going to say.  But I read, and I liked