I agree about the old guys in the windows and that girl. Need to have those windows a little more varied. Maybe only have one window with a person looking out? Not very many people stand by their windows and look out like that because most people would be busy doing something else with their time.
I'm confused about the 2nd screenshot...It's just a long staircase and your character with blackness around them. Was this posted on accident? It has no eyecandy and would suggest taking a screenshot of an area that has more going on to show us.
Default Battle system + Sideview Script +
Another screenshot that could be omitted until custom graphics are applied, in my opinion.
I'm assuming most of this is just the story as you have it sofar based on your game's description, so it seems fitting to have that title there like that but I am curious if you just changed the screen's saturation and whatnot and added a display picture command to an event and took a screenshot of that or if that is your title. If it isn't your title, cool. I hope you play with the show pictures command to come up with lots of creative and fun effects that you can do with enough pictures. If it is your title screen, however, maybe something that fits the overall story or theme of your game would be best (obviously with your logo too).
Maybe you could avoid using "Zero" in your game's name? A lot of games with "Zero" in the name (as I first found out the hard way with the very first game that I was trying to make back when rm2k was the big thing and people still messed with rm95+). Depending on your theme, a title generator on the internet could help you come up with some fairly good titles by randomly generating a list of names for you and you can then mix and match or use one of them that was created or even just use it for inspiration and make up one of your own from there.
The story seems alright. I get the idea you are trying to convey but your description here kind of confuses me despite the fact I think I get where you are going with it. From what I understand, this is my version of your description (with some more dramatic flair and some added explanations because right now, your story pretty much says she is celebrating her birthday...but she is leaving her house...and then ends up in a cafe. Most celebrations include food, so why she would end up in a cafe 50 minutes later is beyond me, but I will add a little extra to give you some ideas on how to fix this and maybe you can change it or expand on it in your game...I don't know, up to you). It is quite long and in my opinion, much more story like rather than a brief 30 second writing job that I would have written for a school assignment in high school just to hurry and get the job done, only hoping to get barely passing grade.
"On December 21, 2012, when the clock struck twelve, an immense earthquake shook the world, destroying everything in it's wake...or so we thought.
Prior to this earth-changing incident, Cora Storm, who just turned 18 on this very day, was celebrating her birthday with her mother. As a gift, she is given a ring. This ring is a family heirloom, passed down from mother to daughter for 27 generations. After the festivities, Cora left to meet up with her Uncle, who was unable to attend her celebration, at the local Cafe. Oddly, there was nobody there, not even a single chef. Upon trying to leave the Cafe, she reached for the door only to realize that it was locked. She pounded on the door, hoping someone would walk by and hear her but nobody came. Suddenly, there was a flash and Cora was knocked unconscious.
Some time later, Cora slowly woke up. As she looked around, she realized she was no longer in a cafe. The walls and ceiling were made up of rock and the floor covered in sand. It appeared that she was in a cave! The only way out appeared to be through a small corridor that contained a staircase made of rock. She slowly approached the corridor and peered up the end of the staircase. It appeared to go on forever with a small light appearing at the end of the tunnel. Realizing that this could be a way out, Cora started to ascend the staircase.
The staircase was indeed very long and Cora felt weak. She had no clue how long she was out but it felt like she hadn't eaten in a very long time and she hoped that when she reached the top, she could find someone who can tell her how she can get home.
Cora reached the end of the staircase but what she saw made her heart sink. The cave appeared to be in the middle of a desert. The heat from the sun beat down on her fair skin as she looked around for any sign of life. She looked down and noticed some fresh footprints coming from the cave and leading out beyond some rocks. Excited and hopeful, she follows the footprints, hoping to find their owner and hopefully a way back home..."
I hope this wasn't too harsh of a critique for you and hope it gives you much more constructive criticism to work with and hopefully improve the quality of your first game because the first impression is a lasting impression and if you can "wow" the public with your first game then you will be good to go!
Discord
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