A Public Service Announcement from the Federal Bureau of Investigation

[FBI]

Before any of you asshat wearing delinquents get the eggnog induced idea to drink and drive on New Years, just know that the only thing stopping you is the barrel of a gun and my long lawful dick. So if any of you game-making virgins want to be locked up tighter than princess fucking peach then go ahead be my guest, drink and drive.

And don't any of you try to tell me this isn't my jurisdiction, my jurisdiction is protecting this holy nation we all call a home at any cost.

Happy Holidays, and if any of you see a Mr. Ryan Leber, tell him we got our warrants and he's long due for a cavity check.

[Gracie]

GET OUT.

[Dwarra?]

Don't fuck with Johnny Law, Grace.

[Gracie]

Johhny Law wouldn't brag about his dick on the internet.

So I say, fuck you FBI man.

In the ass.

[Sophist]

Don't fuck with the FBI. He's known to have fucked people back.

[Gracie]

With a knife?

[Zeriab]

*probes FBI*

[Zylos]

What is the FBI's opinion on getting fedora's, monocles, and manly mustache's for Christmas?

[FBI]

Whatever your sick furry ass does in the privacy of your home holds no bearing with me. Bring that shit in public however, and you've got a problem with America, you've got a problem with me.

*probes FBI*

With all due respect sir, you're not supposed to be out of the designated areas in New Mexico, and certainly not on the internet.

With a knife?

With a gun.