My laptop won't start! I don't know why! It was working just fine last night but when I went to turn it on today nothing happened! I pressed power again and again but nothing! I tried taking the battery out and putting it back in, I checked the plug and it's getting power to it, I shook the laptop around in case something fell out of place on the inside, but it just won't turn on!
I can't afford to lose the data I've accumulated! I've got financial information on there, I'm going to lose MONEY if my files get deleted, so I can't send it into tech support because those incompetent idiot Ali-Babas just wipe all the data! And I can't ask those vampires at Best Buy to help me because they'll just charge me extortionist rates to back up my hard drive! I don't know what to do, I need help! I HAVE to get my laptop started! If I don't my life is over.
This is the worst birthday ever. Why the FUCK does this have to happen on my 18th!?