Good Luck / Bad Luck

(bad luck)

a lifetime turned into a week, as the restaurant was shut down for being unsanitary.

(Good luck)

Luckily, one employee at the restaurant started his own B&B downtown and offered Joe full partnership, along with all the pancakes he can eat.

(bad luck)

too bad that one employee was terrible at making pancakes, and Joe couldn't stomach the concoction.

(good luck)

But despite that, they still made enough money to keep the business afloat and have a good amount to pocket.

(bad luck)

The restaurant was hit by a meteorite, causing total destruction to the establishment.

(Good luck)

Joe just happened to be visiting his wealthy half-brother 36 miles away at the time the meteorite struck. Upon hearing the news, Joe's brother offered him a new job at his law firm.

(bad luck)

A second meteorite hits the law firm, destroying it completely.

(good luck)

A second meteorite hits the law firm, destroying it completely.

(bad luck)

Joe's half brother lost his ears and legs after the meteorite hit.

(Good luck)

Joe's half brother's evil firm is indeed gone for good, and the revenue they generated beforehand is enough to keep them afloat for many years.

(bad luck)

By "afloat", we mean drifting down a river on a patchwork raft.

(good luck)

They found a sturdy boat in the river.

(bad luck)

unfortunately, the boat was inhabited, by Somalian Pirates who capture them for ransom.

(Good luck)

By some stroke of luck, the pirates are sniped out of the boat by a way seen more commonly in video games.

(bad luck)

Joe is hit by a stray bullet, and is now bleeding out on the boat

(good luck)

the ship docked perfectly into a blood bank where Joe good the blood he lost back. along with purchasing meteor insurance on everything he owns, has owned or ever will own. And hooks up with an STDless female supermodel.

ALL FOR $5.99 (plus tax)

(Bad luck)

It's too bad that Joe needed $5.00 more to pay the blood bank (That one in particular wasn't a nonprofit organization), and they said they would siphon all the blood they just gave him if he could not cover the costs (What kind of a corrupt place is that?).

(Good luck)

Luckily a good friend of Joe's worked there and started his shift just as they were about to siphon the blood. Upon having a quick word with some of the other people that worked there, they allowed Joe to have the blood for free.

(Bad Luck)

Joe's supposed friend is actually a psychopath who kidnapped Joe and took him to an evil lair.

Dun dun dunnn

(Good Luck)

Joe was about to be made into a virgin sacrifice, but since he wasn't actually a virgin, the psychopath just let him go.

(Bad Luck)

He was no longer a virgin because of the psychopath... who also had bad breath.

(Good Luck)

Joe told the police about the psychopath, who turned out to be one of the most wanted men in the area. The police gave him a $100,000 dollar reward for helping them to capture the virgin sacrificer.

[Bad Luck]

They gave him the $100,000 reward in the form of a giant cheque like you see on gameshows. Because he didn't have a giant wallet to put it in, he couldn't take it to the bank to cash it.

(Good Luck)

The police saw that he couldn't even get it out of the police station, so they gave him the equivalence in cash.

In before the necropost ><
(Bad Luck)

Unfortunately for him, the money that was handed out was counterfeit. He only found out after a shopping spree in New York when he arrived at the counter of the mall. It turns out the money the police handed to him was notes taken in from criminals concerning a banking scam.