Well, I'll try to make this as brief as I can.
I would have preferred not to say anything, but I didn't want to leave just like that; for respect to those who have treated me so well. So here it is.
For weeks, I've been thinking about the reason I'm still here. And the truth is that I've found none. In a summary, I'm changing, and I'll keep changing. I've never stopped changing. And I've come to the conclusion that I can't be the nice member I used to be anymore. That Arwym is truly gone. I've tried to join activities and even start some games; those never go beyond the planning stage. I've tried to go back to the IRC channel, but I never know how to even start a conversation there. Bean Bags? What do I do in Bean Bags lately? Nothing. Am I really the right person to advise others? Not really. Frankly, I don't have anything useful to do here. At least not anything I have enough energy and determination for. Even RMRKU seems so remote to me. I was hoping that this project would be the reason to stay, but I just don't have the mind to work on something like that right now, nor in the near future.
And it's not only because of that. You see, I am about to start classes in a new university. This university is not public, so it's a hell lot more expensive, and possibly stricter than the one where I was until past June. I am finally going to start studying something that truly interests me, and I don't wish to waste that opportunity with distractions. I want to dedicate all the time I can to that, because it's a great responsibility. My grades have gone down and down with every quarter that passed. And from almost 4.0 (the maximum grade score in points) that I had back in 2006, now I have 2.94. That's unacceptable for someone like me, and my family is disappointed.
There are other reasons, but if I told you them, you'd think I am an anti-social freak, which I am not. This year has been one of the worst in my entire life, and that sums it all.
So with that speech done, I have to say goodbye. Maybe someday I'll come back. Maybe not. I really enjoyed my time here. I met new people that are valuable for me, and learned many things. I considered this my home on the internet for like a year.
I know that some of you don't even care. Some others have already lost faith in me. Others might feel my absence. Who knows? Maybe I am not even wanted. Honestly, I don't expect to be missed. And you better not, because it's not worth it.
But let's cut the melodrama!
I wish you all the best things in the world, and I won't forget the time I spent here.
Farewell.
- Jessica (Arwym)
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