Ask a Scotsman

[Dertt]

Dae ye need an innin tae th Scots leid?
(Do you need an introduction to the Scots language?)

Are you curious about kilts, haggis, heroin, Highlander, Braveheart, Sean Connery, Ewan McGregor or ony mair daft shite people ask about when I don't bother using an American accent?

Well, here you are.
Ask.

[Karo Rushe]

Is it True, yeh Irish Likes Porks? 

[Dertt]

How the fuck should I know about the Irish, ye daftie?

[Zylos]

We all know what a real Scotsman wears underneath the kilt, but what does a real ScotsWOMAN wear?

[Redwyn]

Can you tell me more about the Scotish history? I am half scotish :]

[Dertt]

We all know what a real Scotsman wears underneath the kilt,

Yes, [spoiler]lipstick, on a good day.[/spoiler]

but what does a real ScotsWOMAN wear?

A woman's kilt is called a skirt. And traditionally, nothing.

Can you tell me more about the Scotish history? I am half scotish :]

What in particular would you like to know about?

[Leventhan]

Is Sean Connery gay?

[Dertt]

He's actually asexual.

[Redwyn]

I would actually like to know about the language, if you would of course.

[haloOfTheSun]

Is it true you are all excellent at golf?

[Dertt]

Is it true you are all excellent at golf?

There are a few exceptions, which are mostly the people who don't play at all.

I would actually like to know about the language, if you would of course.

There's a bit much to say about it here, so if you'd like to PM me with a series of specific questions, feel free. Until then, here's the Scots translation of the Wikipedia article regarding Scots.
http://sco.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scots_leid

[Karo Rushe]

D: Is it true the scotsman break dance?

[Dertt]

Ay, in Edinburgh they breakdance for honour and glory.

[modern algebra]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FgMLROTqJ0

Isn't Sean Connery married?