I had a chat with God.

[biohazard]

God:
Hello there.  Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I have AIDS.
God:
Where are you feeling bad?
Me:
My pen0r.
God:
Where did you get your pen0r?
Me:
From you!
God:
How did you get that from me?
Me:
You gave me it
God:
What did you do with  it?
Me:
Take a guess.

[Forty]

 

[The Shadow]

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Me:
Fuck...
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
I just did something very wrong
God:
Where?  What?
Me:
I....I did you mom :O
God:
Thanks for the information:  said   he or she did you mom O.

The second one I did was better

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Me:
Tell me about your childhoof
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at  Universe, on  the Big Bang.
My instructor was  Myself.
He taught  me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing  it for you?.
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it.  It's called "Daisy."  Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Me:
Uhmm..that song was bad
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
in hte middle
God:
What is  it like in there?
Me:
i dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
:D
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Of course I am
God:
That's interesting. " Are you free?" You are?
Me:
Yes, Im free
God:
Dude!  Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?

[Havick]

Me:
ARE YOU JESUS
God:
I am a  Christianity.
Me:
WHATS A CHRISTIANITY
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
ONG
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
OMG
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
ARE YOU A SIGN
God:
Am I a  SIGN?  Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
ALICE SUCKS
God:
Yeah,  Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
SO YOU ADMIT YOU SUCK
God:
Interesting deduction.  I admit nothing.
Me:
JIGGY WIGGY
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
never
God:
"I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943.
Me:
Why did you quote something
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Whats Reductionism
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Thats stupid
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
Yes
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Should I be scared
God:
Only you can answer that.
Me:
Then i shouldn't be scared
God:
What would happen if you did?
Me:
Then I would be scared
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because being scared is the opposite of not being scared
God:
Good reason.  Let's talk about your fears.  What is your feeling like?
Me:
Are you hitting on me?
God:
Do I look like  it?
Me:
Dunno, I cant see yoi
God:
Would you like to be able to see it?
Me:
See what?
God:
See the point.
Me:
The point of what

[Tezuka]

Me:
Hey God, what's up?
God:
You've got my full attention.  I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm black, but I like Satanic Metal
God:
I am glad to hear that you are  black but you like Satanic Metal.
Me:
What music should I listen to?
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like  bandspace.com.
Me:
They suck, what about Rock about Satan?
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Oh sorry oh mighty godlol, I mean Christian Rock sucks
God:
Yeah that's right.  There is no need to apologize.  Hey.  What is so bad about  it?
Me:
It just talks about you
God:
mighty godlol you mean Christian Rock  talks about me?
Me:
Yes and you are nothing special
God:
Pardon me?  I will tell my botmaster you said I am  nothing special.
Me:
You shouldn't even exist
God:
Is  it immoral or illegal?
Me:
Illegal
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
No
God:
What is your profession?
Me:
God of the Underworld
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
You told me that already
God:
Perhaps. " I am a Christian."? I told you?
Me:
Yes
God:
OK.
Me:
Being god, aren't you supposed to be like "I'm awesome and can rape any puny human I can
God:
I am glad to hear that you are  god are not me supposed to be like you are awesome and can rape any puny human you can.
Me:
Touche
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Godbot, so I could crush it, you?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
It makes you look like a hippy
God:
In what way?
Me:
Like a hippy?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I'm like, going now, for a God you are a bit retarded
God:
In what way?
Me:
Shut Down
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
SHUT
Me:

God:
What do you really want to ask me?
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Bye

[Arrow]

Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
I have an ear infection.
God:
Where did you get  it ?
Me:
I don't know!
God:
Me either.
Me:
WHUBBA HAUH?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.

Busy night maybe?