Ask a British Guy

Yes that's right folks, get in there with the british questions. Though I tell you now, I have no clue about the offside rule whatsoever, use wikipedia for stuff like that.

To begin I'll pre-empt some questions `

How come all tasty British food is absolutely terrible for the body?
That depends entirely on the state you're in. A Well done kebab is almost repulsive usually, but I'll beg for one when drunk =D. Everything seems to have loads of fat / grease in it nowadays. Although having sampled american chocolate I have to say we win on that one.

Do you walk on the left sides of hallways as well?
Being left-handed I'll usually find myself walking on the right. I found it weird when I was little and was told that americans drive on the right.

Why do all you people talk funny?
There's a wealth of different accents. Of course I don't notice my own, but move just a few hours drive in any direction from where I am (right in the middle) and everybody sounds so stupid =D. Worms World Party is full of Satirical impersonations of most of the British accents. The first time I heard them was lool.

Who's going to win the ashes? Or should I say, how badly are we, Australia, going to beat you this time? =D
Nobody (including me) really cared about the Ashes until we won really. The popularity just skyrocketed as we got closer to the final. All of a sudden, what's-his-name was a national hero =\. You probably would have won the lest one if things like the weather etc. went your way instead of ours.

Why do you call your mothers "mum". I could never get that. MOM sounds much better.
Technically our spelling of it was here first? =P Also like I'd write colour while you'll put color
[colour=blue]omg[/colour]

Why do you gotta have a license to buy and/or use a Television? Its not like you gotta drive the TV to work =p
TV License money goes to the BBC, to make up for the money they would otherwise make through advertisements. And of course to line the government's pockets that little bit thicker. There are no commercials whatsoever on the BBC channels. And on the other channels they're usually only every 15 mins.

What's up with your freaking teeth? I know it's a stereotype, but every British person I've ever known has really bad teeth.
Mine aren't the best ever, even though I usually brush them every day. I have no idea =\. Most of the people I know, their teeth aren't bad. Nobody has anything like a "hollywood smile" though.

ASK AWAY ~

do your television shows make fun of americans as much as ours make fun of you?

If somebody being portrayed is specifically american (and it's not already an american show) they're usually shown as overweight, clumsy and stupid. Sup djang

Awesome.

I just can't pass up this opportunity. There's a lot I want to know.

What is the working situation like in Europe? For instance, America (I'm sure you know.) has a problem with illegal immigration, and minimum wage just went up in a lot of places (not saying that's bad so you know guys).

What kind of work related stuff is happening over thar?

Also: What's music like? Over here crappy pop and emo punk rock is all the rage. What's popular there? More specifically, who? I've been sort of sucked into this weird, and probably completely baselesss (other than I haven't met a european who doesn't fit this) stereotype that everyone over there is way into house and techno. Just how wrong am I?

How often do you have faggots for dinner?

Here's one: What is the cost of gas? I heard a few years back that gas over there was something like $10 a gallon.

I just can't pass up this opportunity. There's a lot I want to know.

What is the working situation like in Europe? For instance, America (I'm sure you know.) has a problem with illegal immigration, and minimum wage just went up in a lot of places (not saying that's bad so you know guys).

What kind of work related stuff is happening over thar?

There's illegal immigration in the UK but it's nowhere as much of a problem as in the US. Most people are annoyed with the legal immigration, specifically the sheer amount of people the government is letting in. And when they get here, they're helped out with housing, sometimes cars, and almost always jobs. Most people are pissed at all these immigrants coming and taking their jobs, happily working for alot less.

Also: What's music like? Over here crappy pop and emo punk rock is all the rage. What's popular there? More specifically, who? I've been sort of sucked into this weird, and probably completely baselesss (other than I haven't met a european who doesn't fit this) stereotype that everyone over there is way into house and techno. Just how wrong am I?

Britain seriously has like, "chav music" now. It's like you have those black rappers going on about how they were born in 'da hood and grew up rough, you literally have chavs rapping (or trying to) about growing up in a council flat in west manchester. Sucks :/ They like a mix of stupid ~10 minutes in FruityLoops happy hardcore and rap / hip hop or whatever you'd like to call it. The rest are either into all the metal stuff or you have the further smaller group of people into just like regular pop =x

How often do you have faggots for dinner?

Almost never

Here's one: What is the cost of gas? I heard a few years back that gas over there was something like $10 a gallon.

Filling up a tank costs around 20 - 30 pounds, depending on the size and cost. Laff @ all you americans getting pissed cause you have to pay a measly $20-30 bucks.

Does the common Britt have the typical patriotism (specifically for the queen) as one would expect?

I don't know anybody who's really any patriotic at all. The queen doesn't really even do anything, it's basically the Prime Minister who's at the top; he's like the equivalent of a US President.

I don't like the queen. Sure the monarchy actually meant something hundreds of years ago, but it doesn't anymore.

How often do you have faggots for dinner?

What the hells a fagot, ive heard of them but never had one 

They're a kind of meatball. Sometimes you have suet in them.

ah thats what they are, tch i dont know anyone round hear who eat them

Is it true that British people are secretly running the world while drinking tea and eating crumpets (I like crumpets)?

So, is it all British guys who have smal penises? Or just you?

Is it true that British people are secretly running the world while drinking tea and eating crumpets (I like crumpets)?

Well britain is kinda of like America's bitch or whatever at the moment. Which most people don't like. Alot of people are against the iraq war also. Maybe not the war as a whole, but more that we still have all those people over there and won't basically just leave them alone.

So, is it all British guys who have smal penises? Or just you?

;-; 

just to fully answer djangs question i think it must just be him

I am British too... from the higher end of it.. so i have a British accent like you see on fox but honestly, Fox is so wrong about the brits... we are way more chilled than they show you...

I find it funny how brits laugh at Americans for funny accents yet most of the time you worship us for ours... when i went there i felt like someone got the red carpet out for me jsut because of the way i spoke...

ah thats what they are, tch i dont know anyone round hear who eat them

I do... you homo

I'm also a Brit, i form the West Midlands (oldbury) along with Tezuka and Link... But they have a very small penis each, mine however can slap them from a flacid position

Nobody has anything like a "hollywood smile" though.

100%, they have sort surgery to get that done.


I went to London a while back, (year) and it was spring, and it was very dark. No sun.

Is it always like this? Because I hope to return.

ur a guy o.o ?

Yes... Why do you ask? 

Are crumpets essentially the exact same thing as English muffins?

I heard that most English people only know of Muffins as the kind of muffins we eat in America.