My Computer is Stupid

Every time I start up it goes

THE AMOUNT OF MEMORY HAS CHANGED


and then it immediately restarts and goes

FOUND blahbalhblah WHILE EXPECTING blahblahbalh IN THE MEMORY
DECREASING SYSTEM MEMORY



And then it says I have only 512 MB of RAM.

And every time I restart, it's the same crap. It realizes "oh, there's a gig of RAM" and then that stupid error comes up and for some idiotic reason it decides to shut half of it down.


Fuck this computer.

I can fix hat for you. And by fix I mean smash with a sledgehammer.

I'm pretty sure that's how the problem started.


Except the sledgehammer was my fist because I was trying to transfer my laptop's screen over the to TV, but it kept showing up in black and white.
Which is fucking retarded. USE TV AS PRIMARY DISPLAY. IS IT OKAY IF THERE'S NO COLOR!?

:my fist slamming down NOWHERE NEAR THE RAM CHIPS but still causing a memory error:

Well, do you have anything I could smash with a sledgehammer?

HOW ABOUT YOUR FACE 

I tired that once, my face broke the hammer.

You could smash my face, if you wanted.

Go My computer -> right click -> properties -> Advanced -> Advanced thingy again -> virtual memory and change it to something that works ^^

U try'd that already =/ ?