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RMRK General => Creativity => Topic started by: Forty on October 04, 2007, 03:13:00 AM

Title: [Writing] Peace
Post by: Forty on October 04, 2007, 03:13:00 AM
Since you all suck at writing, I have decided to write something here.

Peace

Peace is freedom from war, a time of celebration
Shouts of joy are echoed through the nation
But mourners in black line the grave
Of the poor young soldier who we could not save
But do not cry, rejoice, rejoice, rejoice
From the smiling heavens cries his happy voice
We were willing to save, but his life we could not
But he is not in vain, for he is with his lot
He cheers with the world, the war is over
The evil storm called war has blown over
Peace, a time of rejoice
Let all sing out with their own voice
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: JAP on October 04, 2007, 04:51:35 AM
Uhm...

I won't say it's bad, great rhyming after all...

But somehow, it's just... It's just... Untouching...
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Nightwolf on October 04, 2007, 09:38:38 AM
what she said because i think you have a little to much overconfidence.

If you were joking about us sucking, put it in the [joke][/joke] things.
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Forty on October 04, 2007, 02:33:48 PM
Write something better
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: JAP on October 05, 2007, 05:04:42 AM
Well, if it's a really great poetry, it would move someone's heart on or anything... But yours is just... Not even makes me feel anything.
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Nightwolf on October 05, 2007, 11:29:58 AM
And you proved yourself to be over-over-confident.


YOU THINK YOU'RE GREAT, i bet JAPPY CAN SQUASH YOU UNDER MY FOOT.
:V
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: JAP on October 05, 2007, 11:47:42 AM
Errrr....

Why me...? O.o
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Nightwolf on October 05, 2007, 11:51:37 AM
Oh, so this is Jappy's true form. Scared and whimpy, not helping a friend.
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: JAP on October 05, 2007, 12:13:46 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I'm just asking you why!!

NO WORRIES SISBRO I GOT YOUR BACK!!
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Leventhan on October 05, 2007, 12:45:12 PM
Bad poem.
Too many rythm.

A good poem have the least amount of words possible to touch someone.
Study more. ;D
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Nightwolf on October 06, 2007, 03:31:16 AM
it's not that bad, it's a 6.5/10.
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Forty on October 06, 2007, 03:48:33 AM
I kinda wrote it in five minutes
and it was an English project, it had to rhyme like that
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Forty on October 06, 2007, 03:50:45 AM
I wrote a song

The Black Rose
From the depths of my heart
There lies, a lonely flower
It is as dark as night
But as beautiful as the light
The Black Rose, the Black Rose

Chorus
I feel, all alone
I'm going, on my own
It's as dark as night
but beautiful like the light,
The Black Rose, the Black rose
(Repeat once)

Verse 1
I'm lost, not to be found
I feel trapped in a cage
When all is black
There is a light at the end
Of the tunnel, the tunnel
Without you, I feel pain
Emotional scars are on me
I am, suffering
More pain than imaginable
Imaginable, imaginable

Chorus

Verse 2
Oh pure maiden
Where are you
I may have lost you
But I still love you
Love you, love you
I am a lost soul
Wandering the Earth for you
You reminded me of one thing
One small plant that is like this
The Black Rose, the black rose

Chorus

Bridge
Where have you been my love?
It's been years since last since I saw you last
(Chorus)
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: JAP on October 06, 2007, 04:26:13 AM
Urm.. If it's a song, why don't you post the track? That'll be awww-some! =D
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Forty on October 06, 2007, 02:04:20 PM
 ;9
I wrote lyrics
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: JAP on October 07, 2007, 12:36:20 AM
I know.

But a lyrics of a song would mean more if there's music beside it.
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Nightwolf on October 07, 2007, 04:10:04 AM
i can make a song on that.


though i never made one with words.
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: JAP on October 07, 2007, 08:52:22 AM
xD

Nightwolf owns!!
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Leventhan on October 07, 2007, 11:25:04 AM
It's better than before, Forcystus.
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Nightwolf on October 07, 2007, 01:18:05 PM
Quote from: jap0911 on October 07, 2007, 08:52:22 AM
xD

Nightwolf owns!!

Thank you very much.
And i think i will make this song, good practice and a way to get Zypher in my hands.

AGAIN.
Title: Re: Peace
Post by: Forty on October 09, 2007, 02:49:42 PM
If its good, I will use it when I have a band