Ok, im going to preface this with the following:
Do not infer I am Emo. Do not bring the word Emo into this thread in any subsequent posts to this one. I am merely depressed. Nobody is happy all the freaking time.
Onto the point.
So im in this play with this girl. She's nice, pretty, i dunno...Just normal. A change from all the wierdos, goths, and stoners at school. (Yes, girls are stoners to). Anyways, she had been giving all the telltale signs of being interested in me. FLirting, certain subjects, everything short of physically hitting on me (with her body, that is).
So...something happened tonight, and I'm feeling the following emotions-
-Sadness/Depression
-Confusion
-Frustration
Now, what happened. Well, we were talking about people we like at school, because she asked me, and so, im like, wow. this is yet another hint in a large list of hints that she likes me. So, you know, i tell the truth and thats the fact that i dont like anybody at school. And she says that she likes this guy that she's been best friends with since 6th grade, and he likes her However, she says "I'm not sure if I want to date him though". One of the reasons they can't date is because he is her recent ex's best friend.
The OTHER reason is that she wants to be single for a while. Fan-Fucking-Tastic.
So, I'm SAD because she might not like me in that way, but she might know i like her and so our friendship could become really awkward, and I still want to be her friend.
I'm CONFUSED because she later added, when i got really quiet, "i dont know if i want to date him", and she gave off ALL of these signs...like flirting and stuff
and im FRUSTRATED because EVERY TIME i think a girl likes me, its always as a friend or some shit. its like, wtf? i mean, shes really NICE and PRETTY and NORMAL, and nobody ever flirts with me like she does, and that also adds to the confusion.
So, RMRK, i dont know what to do. Part of me wants to get her to like me. The other part of me says that I should just get over her and be her friend, since I would just be a second anyways, and if this guy she likes hinted at liking her even more she would drop me like a lead brick.
I guess I need some help here.
Shut the fuck up JH you retarded camel shit...
He's trying to be serious here...
I respect him for posting his feelings here...
It's just unfortunate that I can't help him coz im not too shit hot with girls...
Jesus Hitler didnt post...
but thanks...
He did, and finally passed the threashold. That post is gone now, and he's banned.
Good I'm glad...
ah, alright. Mostly, I dont really want to know what he said.
Anyways...anybody actually want to help me know how i can get over her and just be her friend?
Sorry to say this, but she JUST wants to be friends with you. Get over it? To me, it sounds like your in love... If you stay friends with someone you actually feel you love, then it really will do nothing more then depress you further. How much do you like her?
i like her quite a bit...
Ive started to see that I should just be her friend though. She seems to rely on me to be that "comforting friend", you know, who is there to talk about other guys and stuff. And, if you think about it, that isnt a bad spot. And i agree. Acting like just a friend would be a bitch...
I'm afraid there is no easy option. She truly does want you as a friend, but unless she's on the rebound, I don't see anything forming with you past a friendship :(. While there is a chance something could happen, there's a greater one that it just won't work, and if it doesn't it will eat you up inside.
If you try to continue your relationship with her it may not be healthy, if you think you can get over her ( which is more then hard ) then the friendship has more then a lot to offer.
But I think the best choice would be to slowly ween yourself from her and pursue other more promising relationships. If you hold on to love, it could break your heart... :(
Quote from: Greg_Jon on January 30, 2007, 07:33:24 AM
Quote from: Silverline on January 30, 2007, 06:36:17 AM
He did, and finally passed the threashold. That post is gone now, and he's banned.
Why bother lying? Saying that the post was emo wasn't banworthy, you liar. We all know that it's because you got all pissy about that Emily video. Sheesh, you're like a little girl.
seriously? Bitch at the higher authorities somewhere else.
Quote from: Deliciously_Saucy on January 30, 2007, 07:10:48 AM
I'm afraid there is no easy option. She truly does want you as a friend, but unless she's on the rebound, I don't see anything forming with you past a friendship :(. While there is a chance something could happen, there's a greater one that it just won't work, and if it doesn't it will eat you up inside.
If you try to continue your relationship with her it may not be healthy, if you think you can get over her ( which is more then hard ) then the friendship has more then a lot to offer.
But I think the best choice would be to slowly ween yourself from her and pursue other more promising relationships. If you hold on to love, it could break your heart... :(
yeah...i see what you mean. Im starting to get over it, but here's the thing. I cant not be around her, because we have the play together...And, i think once that is done, by then ill be normal...who knows though.
Quote from: Greg_Jon on January 30, 2007, 07:33:24 AM
Quote from: Silverline on January 30, 2007, 06:36:17 AM
He did, and finally passed the threashold. That post is gone now, and he's banned.
Why bother lying? Saying that the post was emo wasn't banworthy, you liar. We all know that it's because you got all pissy about that Emily video. Sheesh, you're like a little girl.
Yeah it's not like I, you know, took into account any of your other posts or anything.
@ Lord Dante: The surprise dupe account has been banned, and registration is disabled for a while. Sorry for messing up your thread :)
no problems Silver, and thanks for that. I'm sure you wouldn't ban him for no reason.
uh...
anybody else have opinions?
Quoteyeah...i see what you mean. Im starting to get over it, but here's the thing. I cant not be around her, because we have the play together...And, i think once that is done, by then ill be normal...who knows though.
It will always take time to get over matters of the heart and I'm sure you will be upset for a while longer, but I hope this all works out for the better. :)
Yeh I'd like to see some more opinions on this matter...
(Greg_Jon..? Lol)
yeah...The wierdest thing is that even if I'm not talking to her about dating or whatever, i feel better. Its like, the friend part of it is taking over, and its like talking to a friend to get my mind off of it. Paradoxial.
Also, i compliment alot of my friends on how they look. (girls). Would it be okay to still do that for her? Just wondering. I dont see why it wouldnt.
...godamnit.
ive gotta stop...
The way I see it you have two options. Stay friends, or tell her how you feel and attempt to become more. The first option is safe, and the only drawback to it is you'll never know what could have been. The second one is a big gamble. You could do as well as ending up together or as badly as her hating you for it. You should decide on your own which option is better.
Or... a third option is...
Write her a note saying some thing along the lines:
"Please read in private:
Dear Carol,
I have been thinking alot lately and something has gotten me very attracted to you, I am very confused as to wether or not you feel this way also. I have spoken to some of my friends and they have given me some advice. If you don't feel the same please don't be offended as I would like to stay good friends with you as we are now. Please reply after you have thought about it.
Yours sincerly,
Dante"
Then mail/email that too her.
Then maybe that would keep it quiet between people at school and she will also have a chance to think about how you feel and how she feels, it has both the friend part and the girlfriend part in the answer...
yes, A_D, that is actually what I was thinking of doing...
And Gigla said, it is a great gamble. Things could end up really awkward if i tell her how i feel,
or...who knows. I think I'll give it a day of thought. In that day, more opinions are welcome. Thanks so far though, I feel im achieving early forms of clarity.
Quote from: GilgameshRO on January 30, 2007, 08:20:34 AM
The way I see it you have two options. Stay friends, or tell her how you feel and attempt to become more. The first option is safe, and the only drawback to it is you'll never know what could have been.
It's not safe as I have seen this situation many times. I have lost MANY friendships due to this. If he continues to befriend her, he WILL hold on to his feelings for her which may retard his emotion skills in other sexual relationships.
QuoteThe second one is a big gamble. You could do as well as ending up together or as badly as her hating you for it. You should decide on your own which option is better.
I'm sorry to say this, but girls flirt with their male
friends all of the time, as I know I do, she's expressing that she likes you. It is quite difficult for GIRLS to move past a friendship to something deeper, she's flirty with you because she is comfortable with you. I can almost guarantee that this option will not end well.
QuoteAlso, i compliment a lot of my friends on how they look. (girls). Would it be okay to still do that for her? Just wondering. I don't see why it wouldn't.
No. You can only lie to yourself about your feelings so much, but it also depends on the comments. If it's flirting, then it's showing that your not over her, no matter how 'light hearted' it is. Holding on to hope most likely won't work. If it's a compliment and nothing more, then what ever.
Quote from: Lord Dante on January 30, 2007, 08:29:31 AM
yes, A_D, that is actually what I was thinking of doing...
And Gigla said, it is a great gamble. Things could end up really awkward if i tell her how i feel,
or...who knows. I think I'll give it a day of thought. In that day, more opinions are welcome. Thanks so far though, I feel im achieving early forms of clarity.
If your willing to risk it, as I'm sure you are, then there's not much point in not trying it. IF your willing to put your current relationship on the line. And speak to her in person, please
no notes! :)
( .... I've gone into intelligent debate mode... )
lol, thats alright.
Quote from: Deliciously_Saucy on January 30, 2007, 08:34:28 AM
Quote from: GilgameshRO on January 30, 2007, 08:20:34 AM
The way I see it you have two options. Stay friends, or tell her how you feel and attempt to become more. The first option is safe, and the only drawback to it is you'll never know what could have been.
It's not safe as I have seen this situation many times. I have lost MANY friendships due to this. If he continues to befriend her, he WILL hold on to his feelings for her which may retard his emotion skills in other sexual relationships.
I can understand what you are saying here, yet I cant all of the sudden just stop being friends with her. For one, id feel like an ass, but more so it just wouldnt be possible. Especially now that the play is about to open, ill have to be around her. That, and her life is kinda dramatic now, and it wouldnt help for me to just start ignoring her or whatever.
Quote from: Deliciously_Saucy on January 30, 2007, 08:34:28 AM
QuoteThe second one is a big gamble. You could do as well as ending up together or as badly as her hating you for it. You should decide on your own which option is better.
I'm sorry to say this, but girls flirt with their male friends all of the time, as I know I do, she's expressing that she likes you. It is quite difficult for GIRLS to move past a friendship to something deeper, she's flirty with you because she is comfortable with you. I can almost guarantee that this option will not end well.
Yeah, I dont really think Ill go for the long shot of trying to go out with her anyways. In the light im looking through now, it looks like this friend vantage point is actually better. I get the flirting and the supporting ability without the drama and such. *shrug*
Quote from: Deliciously_Saucy on January 30, 2007, 08:34:28 AM
QuoteAlso, i compliment a lot of my friends on how they look. (girls). Would it be okay to still do that for her? Just wondering. I don't see why it wouldn't.
No. You can only lie to yourself about your feelings so much, but it also depends on the comments. If it's flirting, then it's showing that your not over her, no matter how 'light hearted' it is. Holding on to hope most likely won't work. If it's a compliment and nothing more, then what ever.
Empty compliments. I like making people smile.
Quote from: Deliciously_Saucy on January 30, 2007, 08:34:28 AM
Quote from: Lord Dante on January 30, 2007, 08:29:31 AM
yes, A_D, that is actually what I was thinking of doing...
And Gigla said, it is a great gamble. Things could end up really awkward if i tell her how i feel,
or...who knows. I think I'll give it a day of thought. In that day, more opinions are welcome. Thanks so far though, I feel im achieving early forms of clarity.
If your willing to risk it, as I'm sure you are, then there's not much point in not trying it. IF your willing to put your current relationship on the line. And speak to her in person, please no notes! :)
1. Notes = no. Impersonal isnt the name of the game here.
2.I dont know if im willing to risk the relationship right now. Ill wait and see.
QuoteI get the flirting and the supporting ability without the drama and such. *shrug*
That's fine, but don't stop pursuing other girls. :)
Hope this has helped you, let us know what happens.
Yea Man....
Good Luck..
I hope for the best of you and Carol...
Or Gloria...
Or Abe...
Or what ever her name is...
GOOD LUCK!!!!
i wont stop pursuing other girls, but the sad thing is, there arent other girls to pursue...
that was why i thought she liked me. Meh, its old news now. I'll let you all know what happens...
Quote from: Angelic_Diablo on January 30, 2007, 08:53:54 AM
Yea Man....
Good Luck..
I hope for the best of you and Carol...
Or Gloria...
Or Abe...
Or what ever her name is...
GOOD LUCK!!!!
lol, Abe. XD.
thanks.
I go with Gilga, dont jump onto her and ask,"WANNA BE MY GF"
Play it kool man. KOOOL.
Wait, be patient, i'm sure you can, wait for any occasion, any occasion, if she really likes you she'll ask you out, if not, then you ask her out, if she says yes, then you're a lucky lad, if not, then i suppose it goodbye tata see you later, know your my hater.
Dude you are sooo mean...
lol...
WHO ME! NAH! I M A GOOOD BOY U C :V!
Dude you have to realize, in the grand scheme of things, it's all meaningless. But, (long pause)........if you do want more than just sex with this girl, you know this already, BE HER FREIND, genuinely, be there for this human as it needs what all of us need, even if she may end up with the other guy, still be her freind. Relationships don't have to end because of sex, although some times it's the other way around. Strange how that works.
ok ill give you some wisdom i wasnt able to give you on msn
ok a few things about girls...
1. they are emotional
2. they dont change their minds as easily as guys do
3. they ALWAYS keep you guessing. girls are supposed to have a "mystique" about them, so guys are always saying wtf, just on purpose, they do things like that
4. girls around our age like guys theyre friends with because girls (usually) are looking for commitment in their relationship -except me, i date for fun. but girls usually want to get all serious about relationships. well not all girls, really depends on the girl.
5. girls flirt for fun. sometimes they do it unintentionally, aka me. but we also flirt with close friends, just to be cutesy, not always because we like you, but because we trust you not to think were soo in love with you.
and theres a lot more. but in all honestly dante darling, youre too cute to worry over this one girl. :P
and it doesnt mean you cant win her over, because the guy i liked originally liked someone else.
my tricks to make them love you<3:
1. be SOOO NICE that its disgusting. ok, not disgusting, but be very sweet. girls love that. but dont waste all your money on a girl who might not like you, thats stupid :P
2. give good hugs. OMG I HATE A GUY WHO CANT GIVE GOOD HUGS. like the more loveable you are, the more she'll love you :)
3. show interest in her interests
4. invite her out, or invite her to your house. the trick is to find a good reason, like to "study" or watever. and also check to see if she doesnt mind it being the 2 of you, only. like mention "who else should i invite, do you know anyone cool that i might know?" if she gives you a list of people, then she doesnt want it to be the two of you, of course >.<
5. keep her guessing. girls dont neccesarily like it when its soo obvious that you like them. sometimes its nice if they like you too, but if they dont, she might end up liking you because youre such a mystery :)
i know i have a lot to say, but i find not enough guys know the secrets on girls.
Im here to expose them :O
lol well i hope this helps!! <3
Quote from: Christina on January 31, 2007, 03:15:06 AM
ok ill give you some wisdom i wasnt able to give you on msn
ok a few things about girls...
1. they are emotional
2. they dont change their minds as easily as guys do
3. they ALWAYS keep you guessing. girls are supposed to have a "mystique" about them, so guys are always saying wtf, just on purpose, they do things like that
4. girls around our age like guys theyre friends with because girls (usually) are looking for commitment in their relationship -except me, i date for fun. but girls usually want to get all serious about relationships. well not all girls, really depends on the girl.
5. girls flirt for fun. sometimes they do it unintentionally, aka me. but we also flirt with close friends, just to be cutesy, not always because we like you, but because we trust you not to think were soo in love with you.
and theres a lot more. but in all honestly dante darling, youre too cute to worry over this one girl. :P
and it doesnt mean you cant win her over, because the guy i liked originally liked someone else.
my tricks to make them love you<3:
1. be SOOO NICE that its disgusting. ok, not disgusting, but be very sweet. girls love that. but dont waste all your money on a girl who might not like you, thats stupid :P
2. give good hugs. OMG I HATE A GUY WHO CANT GIVE GOOD HUGS. like the more loveable you are, the more she'll love you :)
3. show interest in her interests
4. invite her out, or invite her to your house. the trick is to find a good reason, like to "study" or watever. and also check to see if she doesnt mind it being the 2 of you, only. like mention "who else should i invite, do you know anyone cool that i might know?" if she gives you a list of people, then she doesnt want it to be the two of you, of course >.<
5. keep her guessing. girls dont neccesarily like it when its soo obvious that you like them. sometimes its nice if they like you too, but if they dont, she might end up liking you because youre such a mystery :)
i know i have a lot to say, but i find not enough guys know the secrets on girls.
Im here to expose them :O
lol well i hope this helps!! <3
Wow Christina, *Claps* that is THE ultimate guide on "How to be
just friends with the girl you like". Bravo... :)
But perhaps we have different taste...
hmmm well, what are your views on it?
because im still skeptical if you are a girl or not.
but id still like to see your views on it.
edit: ok ive read some of your stuff, but genuinely if youre a good looking guy, and are nice, then you have a chance with her.
unless shes totally not into you that way, which i doubt.
cause usually girls are up for anything, atleast at this age they are
*takes notes quickly*
Quote from: arrowone on January 31, 2007, 04:04:04 AM
*takes notes quickly*
I'd like to watch you ask out a girl while constantly looking at note cards. :lol:
Sad...I imagined myself doing that and LITERALLY laughed out loud. For almost a minute.
Quote from: Lominisio on January 31, 2007, 04:05:32 AM
Quote from: arrowone on January 31, 2007, 04:04:04 AM
*takes notes quickly*
I'd like to watch you ask out a girl while constantly looking at note cards. :lol:
Ok, thats just fucking hilarious.
Quote from: Christina on January 31, 2007, 03:15:06 AM
ok ill give you some wisdom i wasnt able to give you on msn
ok a few things about girls...
1. they are emotional
2. they dont change their minds as easily as guys do
3. they ALWAYS keep you guessing. girls are supposed to have a "mystique" about them, so guys are always saying wtf, just on purpose, they do things like that
4. girls around our age like guys theyre friends with because girls (usually) are looking for commitment in their relationship -except me, i date for fun. but girls usually want to get all serious about relationships. well not all girls, really depends on the girl.
5. girls flirt for fun. sometimes they do it unintentionally, aka me. but we also flirt with close friends, just to be cutesy, not always because we like you, but because we trust you not to think were soo in love with you.
and theres a lot more. but in all honestly dante darling, youre too cute to worry over this one girl. :P
and it doesnt mean you cant win her over, because the guy i liked originally liked someone else.
my tricks to make them love you<3:
1. be SOOO NICE that its disgusting. ok, not disgusting, but be very sweet. girls love that. but dont waste all your money on a girl who might not like you, thats stupid :P
2. give good hugs. OMG I HATE A GUY WHO CANT GIVE GOOD HUGS. like the more loveable you are, the more she'll love you :)
3. show interest in her interests
4. invite her out, or invite her to your house. the trick is to find a good reason, like to "study" or watever. and also check to see if she doesnt mind it being the 2 of you, only. like mention "who else should i invite, do you know anyone cool that i might know?" if she gives you a list of people, then she doesnt want it to be the two of you, of course >.<
5. keep her guessing. girls dont neccesarily like it when its soo obvious that you like them. sometimes its nice if they like you too, but if they dont, she might end up liking you because youre such a mystery :)
i know i have a lot to say, but i find not enough guys know the secrets on girls.
Im here to expose them :O
lol well i hope this helps!! <3
Thanks, but...I dont know. I think I won't TRY anything more with this girl, because we came to the conclusion that being a friend is good, and maybe something could happen, just not to rely on it.
So far, its going pretty well. I appreciate all of that though, because im sure it'll help.
Quote from: Lord Dante on January 31, 2007, 04:08:12 AM
Quote from: Lominisio on January 31, 2007, 04:05:32 AM
Quote from: arrowone on January 31, 2007, 04:04:04 AM
*takes notes quickly*
I'd like to watch you ask out a girl while constantly looking at note cards. :lol:
Ok, thats just fucking hilarious.
Quote from: Christina on January 31, 2007, 03:15:06 AM
ok ill give you some wisdom i wasnt able to give you on msn
ok a few things about girls...
1. they are emotional
2. they dont change their minds as easily as guys do
3. they ALWAYS keep you guessing. girls are supposed to have a "mystique" about them, so guys are always saying wtf, just on purpose, they do things like that
4. girls around our age like guys theyre friends with because girls (usually) are looking for commitment in their relationship -except me, i date for fun. but girls usually want to get all serious about relationships. well not all girls, really depends on the girl.
5. girls flirt for fun. sometimes they do it unintentionally, aka me. but we also flirt with close friends, just to be cutesy, not always because we like you, but because we trust you not to think were soo in love with you.
and theres a lot more. but in all honestly dante darling, youre too cute to worry over this one girl. :P
and it doesnt mean you cant win her over, because the guy i liked originally liked someone else.
my tricks to make them love you<3:
1. be SOOO NICE that its disgusting. ok, not disgusting, but be very sweet. girls love that. but dont waste all your money on a girl who might not like you, thats stupid :P
2. give good hugs. OMG I HATE A GUY WHO CANT GIVE GOOD HUGS. like the more loveable you are, the more she'll love you :)
3. show interest in her interests
4. invite her out, or invite her to your house. the trick is to find a good reason, like to "study" or watever. and also check to see if she doesnt mind it being the 2 of you, only. like mention "who else should i invite, do you know anyone cool that i might know?" if she gives you a list of people, then she doesnt want it to be the two of you, of course >.<
5. keep her guessing. girls dont neccesarily like it when its soo obvious that you like them. sometimes its nice if they like you too, but if they dont, she might end up liking you because youre such a mystery :)
i know i have a lot to say, but i find not enough guys know the secrets on girls.
Im here to expose them :O
lol well i hope this helps!! <3
Thanks, but...I dont know. I think I won't TRY anything more with this girl, because we came to the conclusion that being a friend is good, and maybe something could happen, just not to rely on it.
So far, its going pretty well. I appreciate all of that though, because im sure it'll help.
well just give it time, you know. she might end up liking you,
thanks chrisite ^^
(i know, thats what im hoping for. -yet not relying on-)
Quote from: Lord Dante on January 31, 2007, 04:16:25 AM
thanks chrisite ^^
(i know, thats what im hoping for. -yet not relying on-)
thats ok, if she doesnt like you
then you still got me baby <3
Quote from: Christina on January 31, 2007, 04:26:21 AM
thats ok, if she doesnt like you
then you still got me baby <3
Cheating on your new boyfriend already? :o
Quote from: Lominisio on January 31, 2007, 04:29:10 AM
Quote from: Christina on January 31, 2007, 04:26:21 AM
thats ok, if she doesnt like you
then you still got me baby <3
Cheating on your new boyfriend already? :o
lol too many times
Well, lemme throw my two cents in. I'm tall, and have fabulous curly hair so my opinion defiantly counts.
Basically, to be honest, you have hit a dead end. However, lemme say it's not that bad. At this point your her Dr. Phil. But girls treat all their friends-who-are-boys as Dr. Phils. Just like any of us, they need a little validiation. When she talks about it just take it with some humor, and you'll be fine. Who knows? I've seen people that have been friends for years suddenly get together. You never know what could happen. Lemme just say be a little bit greatful that u diddn't have to actually go through the whole dating thing. First dates at whatever ur age is can be a bit harsh. Botching one up badly (or a relationship if it all works out) could mean not talking to whoever for a while. So u need to evaluate her as a friend. Do you talk to her everyday? or is she someone that you only talk too BECAUSE you want to nail her. That should help u determine how risky you should be.
Maybe u liked her but I don't think there was much chemistry (on her part). Maybe chemistry seems like a word to you, but someday, when you experience it, you will understand.. It's an incrediable attraction tahts right there out in the open thats real hard for both people to ignore, theres no talking around. Someday u'll find someone with the right chemistry for you.
Anyway, some tips for you and everyone out there on how to get a slight edge at being her better-than friend.
1.) Be funny around her. Girls love someone whos a bit silly, especially people who laugh out loud (with a good laugh of course) This doesn't mean you need to alter your personality or anything, just know how to poke fun at others, and urself
2.) Take her places, not alone, but in a group. It obviously eases tension and stops her from blabbing about her problems to you, she needs you in private to do that. Go somewhere fun at night, and always have a nifty backup plan so you can improvise if something goes wrong.. girls love it when guys improvise great plans on the fly
Some slightly romantic group ideas
-Local comedy clubs (improv is great to go to, especially drunk)
-Indie movie theatres (old rundown places with one screen that show strange foreign movies. Great fun)
-someones house for a movie night/ drunken streaking escapade (best of Will Ferral is what u'll need)
3.) If I EVER saw any guy write a girl A NOTE I would personally take them outside and beat some goddamn sense into them. Never ever write notes as they are VERY personal, and guys arn't personal. I get goosebumps trying to phone people sometimes, I'd rather text.
anyway, there u go, and good luck. Any more questions, I'm the love doctor.. 8)
lol, thanks dude. THats actually a big help, as I'm past that "OMFG Depression" stage and onto the action one, where i actually have to do something to make it work. I do talk to her every day, you know, just as a friend. I dont even know how I started becoming attracted to her. At first, it was just like "cool, this girl is talking to me and she seems nice", and all the sudden its like "I think I'll ask her out sometime", even though I haven't known her for a while.