So, I figured I'd give it a little run through as I had a bit of time I wasn't doing much (it's getting late so it's wind down time).
I agree with a previous post about the writing. It might help if you, or someone you can rely on, can go through it to make sure it makes sense. There's a few parts, like that one noted, where it doesn't seem appropriate. There's also a few broken sentences I noticed in the opening scene. It's something to keep in mind, and it's less work the earlier you work on the writing and check it over for sense and realistic representation of the scenario or the person speaking.
The next thing is the battles. I've only got into a few battles in the early game. I think some of the enemies may be a little overpowered for the beginning of a game. If the player is getting killed early on, chances are they won't play it for more than 10 minutes.
For example, first time through I died in the first forced fight. I was hit by 2 fire spells that each hit for ~150 of my 200 max HP, and if I'm only using the attack command it takes at least 3 hits, perhaps 4, to win the fight. And a lose results in game over, which was frustrating to say the least.
For an enemy that seems like he should be powerful this might be alright, and I was hoping for a scene after "dying" that would let the game continue regardless (this main character can still flee by jumping off the cliff). But, alas, I didn't get one and I was forced to go through the opening scene again.
I then got killed by the poison effect from the spiders. They too are a little strong, though probably beatable. But the poison effect ticked for 20HP damage, took me to 34HP and I died apparently. Also, some of the damage didn't seem to take the correct amount of HP off, or I had less HP than was being displayed. I'll take another shot at this tomorrow and see if the same thing happens again (I'll make notes for you). There may be a bug in that somewhere. Maybe you can also take a look at it.
Now, I didn't get too far (probably not even a minute in really) but there's one thing that made me "hmm?". Prior to that opening battle, the two characters are walking along the edge of the cliff. This doesn't seem very safe to me (neither does jumping off the cliff but that's a little less strange as there might be ledges to land on on the way down). But walking on the edge of a cliff, that is not a good idea. You might want to put them onto the path.
Those are a few things I noticed/found along the way. I'll keep playing around with it, as I've been meaning to get a little more into the scene. It gives me something to do when I get fed up/frustrated with my own project. Plus, it's a good source of inspiration.