Doc Sword's Nautical Thread of All Things Deep Sea Related.

NO SLEEP FOR YE WHO ENTER

Spoiler for How Deep is the Deep Sea?:

An Eel with a face! HOORAY!

Spoiler for Creatures of the Abyss:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCw16_Yxid0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCw16_Yxid0</a>

The BLOOP! Most scientists agree this was created by a living creature, however to create such a loud noise it would have to be several times larger than a Blue Whale!

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJV5mH3YY70" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJV5mH3YY70</a>

Filmed off the coast of Texas and 2 miles under water it's an ELBOW SQUIIIIIID.

That's all I feel like doing for tonight. Feel free to post more content.

I read about The Bloop a long time ago. It's a pretty neat story.

fucking bloopers.

Some scientists thought it was the result of a strange electromagnetic phenomena sucking a plane into the ocean.

I'm pretty sure those scientists are on J.J. Abrams payroll.

Let's look at this. I'm obsessed with the ocean, it's so gosh darn fascinating. And fantastically horrifying.

Spoiler for:

Both the deep sea and the shallow waters are home to a bounty of colourful creatures are primarily, evolutionarily designed to slaughter you and your family.

Spoiler for:

WANTS TO MURDER YOU!

As an Australian, I'm rather familiar with things that live in the shallow waters. Like this cheerful bugger.

Spoiler for:

"Hello!"

But stuff we don't hear about everyday is what's so shockingly terrifying about the ocean. If I told you that back in prehistory the almighty wrath of God designed a shark with a circular saw for a face, you would probably be incredibly relieved that it's long extinct. Never to be seen again. Can't get anywhere near you.
Until I show you this video, of course.

Spoiler for:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMGk6ohitgM" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMGk6ohitgM</a>

There are even creatures that exist primarily to remind us that we have no business in the ocean.

Spoiler for:

Like a zombie dragon eel.

And then, of course, there are lamprey: the missing link between fish and Lovecraft gods. These have been around since 360 fucking million years ago, and don't show much hope of disappearing any time soon.

Spoiler for:

In short, Satan's dickcheese somehow bred with Cthulhu.

With all of this, we trust - as always - SpongeBob Squarepants with the analysis of marine biology -

Spoiler for:

Oh god the fucking gills on that pre-historic shark D:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWAnliNc6wk" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWAnliNc6wk</a>

The VAMPIRE SQUID FROM HELL lives in the pitch black, those eyes are the only thing you'll see.

Spoiler for This guy would fuck you up if he wasn't microscopic:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9frgs8lUNac" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9frgs8lUNac</a>

Skip through all the boring anglerfish to get to the mighty copepod 5 minutes in. These fuckers have mastered bioluminesence.

Here's where the fucker lives to this day.

Spoiler for:

Not pictured: Your nightmares.

Poor Jonesy.

I've had a fascination with creatures that lurk in the deep sea since elementary school. It's like another world down there.

Spoiler for:

this was my fish his name was richard he died because fish dont eat cola!!!!!

Here's an interesting fact: if you stick your teeth in cola overnight, you'll drown.

Has anyone ever been stung by a jellyfish?
And has anyone neglected to pour a neutralizing agent on the sting?
Worst pain in my entire life and I've had two adult teeth ripped out in a basketball accident.

WHERE ARR YER CHEELDRUN?

New reaction image right there.

Spoiler for Name?:

The Pigbutt Worm or Flying Buttocks

Viperfish!

I've been stung by a fucking jellyfish. You can't call yourself an Australian until you've survived an attack from one of the fauna. It's law. Of course, it wasn't my only encounter with DEATH.
But we did get it neutralized. In like 3 minutes. 3 minutes that went so incredibly slowly. At least it wasn't one of these dicks.

Spoiler for:

"I see you're still living. I can fix that."

I got stung twice in Mexico, first time I poured vinegar on it around 5 minutes after I was stung. Pretty irritable but nothing horrendous, pain instantly stopped after the vinegar. Second time one wrapped around my arm, I pulled all of the 'legs' off and went back to the hotel. I didn't think vinegar was a miracle pain reliever and I just left it. Around an hour later my entire arm was numb, I had a fever, and my shoulder and chest felt like they were filled with lava. I then spent the next 24 hours going in and out of consciousness until we found the other miracle cure, benadryl.

And upon further research I just realized I've never been stung by a jellyfish and it was a Portuguese Man O' War.

Those things confuse me pantsless.

They're actually really tiny, like half the size of a fist. At least the thousands I saw were. But their tentacles are around 3 feet long D:

BUUUUT on the note of DEEP SEA.

We have the Turritopsis nutricula able to revert itself back to childhood at will, thus biologically immortal.


We also have the Siphonophore, a hivemind of jellyfish like organisms all sharing the same genetic code and having individual jobs to benefit the community.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KT1TSbarW1U" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KT1TSbarW1U</a>