[Development] Project Risingsun

Hey guys!
I post my first development/project.

Story:
W-Where I am? It's hot here. Lubert try to move, but he feels the rope. A mysterious voice start talking to him. He thinks Lubert destroyed team Magma's base in 1984. Lubert explain everything but the Mysterious voice don't believe him. Then they heard a turret sound* and the Mysterious voice say to Lubert he must find out what's happening. Another base was destroyed! Maybe the mysterious voice do believe him now. Lubert feels a cold hand and he fainted..

* - A lot of sounds came from Black Ops.

Characters:
Lubert - Your playable character.
Mr. Dark - The mystery shadow character that haves plans for destroying the world.
Mason - The character that helps Lubert.
Maxime - The mysterious voice.

More comes later.

Hey guys!
I'm posting my first development/project.

Story:
W-Where I am? It's hot here. Lubert tries to move, but he feels the rope. A mysterious voice starts talking to him. He thinks Lubert destroyed team Magma's base in 1984. Lubert explains everything but the Mysterious voice doesn't believe him. Then they hear a turret sound* and the Mysterious voice says to Lubert he must find out what's happening. Another base was destroyed! Maybe the mysterious voice does believe him now. Lubert feels a cold hand and he faints..

* - A lot of sounds came from Black Ops.

Characters:
Lubert - Your playable character.
Mr. Dark - The mystery shadow character that has plans for destroying the world.
Mason - The character that helps Lubert.
Maxime - The mysterious voice.

More comes later.

Fix'd.
Now, some advice.
Read this to get some advice on presenting your project. It helped me, and it's helped a lot of people. It will help you.
Grammar also helps. I'm not going to flame you, but consider every clause you write. People find grammar attractive when choosing what to download, so do the best you can.
Give us some more information on your game. How far is it into completion? Does it have any special features? Scripts?
People on this forum absolutely adore screenshots. Put up as many as you can to illustrate how awesome your game is.
It's a good concept you've got there, though.

There's a forum way of presenting your game? This probably explain why I have the feeling people look at  the presentation of my project and go "RAGGE!" and run away.

It's not a rule, it's a suggestion. It's for your own good overall, but you don't have to do it.

Here's a recent example of a good project topic layout. http://rmrk.net/index.php/topic,41654.0/topicseen.html

I have no idea what's going on in this game.
There's almost no information.

I thought it had something to do with Pokemon without actually being Pokemon. I say this because he mentions team magma. That is all. Good day sir!

Are you trying to freak us out or show us a game?

Charming.

Story:
W-Where I am? It's hot here. Lubert try to move, but he feels the rope. A mysterious voice start talking to him. He thinks Lubert destroyed team Magma's base in 1984. Lubert explain everything but the Mysterious voice don't believe him. Then they heard a turret sound* and the Mysterious voice say to Lubert he must find out what's happening. Another base was destroyed! Maybe the mysterious voice do believe him now. Lubert feels a cold hand and he fainted..

* - A lot of sounds came from Black Ops.

I don't think that this counts as a story. My impression from what I have seen on this forum is that the story should be the main points (setting, etc.) and events that lead up to the events in the game.

That's more of an introduction than a story.
Anyway, are these Black Ops sounds legally acquired?