Yinarium

Hi there, I'm Donk3y

And this is the game I'm working on: Yinarium

        Basically it's about a dude whose homeland (named Yinarium) is being overcome by monsters, and he uses some portals to another world to move some people to safety, but when he enters the portal, he finds himself in a place with no way back, and strange enough, all those people he moved through the portal are not present. This is called the new world (at least that's what I'm gonna call it till I find a good name for it ).

Characters

         Upon arrival, the protagonist (Called Neth, I make my own names ) doesn't really care about the other people, thinking they are just in another corner of that world (which is not true), and he makes himself comfortable, he joins a town and trains the people there in the combat arts of the Blade Lords (Neth is a Blade Lord, a title gained in Yinarium by those who used a specific dual wielding style).

         After awhile, Neth meets up with a peculiar individual in town, namely Veign. In Yinarium, Veign was THE antagonist (he once destroyed every living thing on a radius of a few kilometers from withing a castle with one "hit"!!! I'm sure he had his reasons ). Who knows what bad things he has planned for this peaceful new world! He is a very cheesy guy, and he thinks he is "it" and can take on whoever he wants (which is mostly true xD in the plot at least, what would be the fun in making a character invincible in a game?).

         Some time passes, stuff happens, blah blah blah, and Neth's party meet up an alchemist/healer/guy called Syaginat. He seems to have no real personality, but somehow Veign knows him and they do quite a few things together (one of which is trapping him in a sword...). Not much is known about this person, well Veign knows, but he won't tell me >_<

         Then there's Clayus. He's a rogue, but not the bad arrogant kind of rogue. After the monster outbreak in the town of (insert name here because I haven't thought about a name xD mostly because you don't get to enter the town, you only enter the ruins where they retreated), the population of that town is put under military law, and Clayus, who has been arrested for doing something, is looking for ways to escape, however, Neth's party is just in time there to bail him out. Clayus seems to have a friend he always refers too, who knows allot about mystical and magical things like that.

         Now comes The General, he is the leader of the retreat, the remaining force against the monster outbreak in the town that has no name yet . He mostly issues orders and stuff, but he will join the party eventually. He sure hates Clayus for a reason, I wonder why...

         While searching under the retreat ruins for some clues, they discover an object, I won't say what, don't wanna spoil it, which houses the soul of Ghal, an Empress. She happens to be a vampire and knows quite allot about stuff, she even came from Yinarium, how is that possible?...

          Finally (so far xD), there is this dude, who gets a real trashing from Veign, called Earl, you might think he is just a common thug, but you would be surprised to know he is so much more...

The Bad Guys

          The main antagonist in this game is somebody. It would be a real spoiler if I told you who it was xD so I won't tell you

          Then there is Unathair, a vaguely described ghost/phantom/fanatic/guy you meet right at the beginning of the game, and at other points in the game. He seems to have some grudge against Veign.

          After which there is a big armored dude, that "puts you to a test" to see if you're worthy of speaking to his "master". He isn't causing you much trouble, YET

          Finally (so far), you've got to battle this corrupted healer dude called Authei, but the good thing about him is, that after you killed him, he gives you these 2 nice items: The skull of Authei (not his skull, a skull that was in his possesion) and the Band of Authei. The skull basically gives you -10 to all 4 attributes, but it gives you passive healing abilities, I'm thinking of putting a timer on this one. The band is a charged item, when you first get it, it is Depleted Band of Authei, meaning you cannot use it, but once you recharge it, you can use it in battle or in menu 10 times to get 20% and 20 HP and MP, after that 10 times, you need to recharge it again. Also you can (will xD) be able to upgrade it, make it carry more charges and make it more efficient.

Twist

             Here's something nice: The new world is just a normal world with good guys, bad guys, prophecies... And there is always a right hero and a right badguy for a prophecy right? Wrong! In this game, Neth's party accidentally activate that world's prophecies onto themselves xD. This is very bad because the main antagonist is from Yinarium and he has nothing to do with this world's prophecies, and now it's very confusing to know who referred to what, was the prophecy about the heroes in this world or about us? This guy told me I have to kill the "dragon", did he mean that metaphorically? I guess so, so somebody with me is the dragon, and I have to kill him sometime. Wait, did he refer to the prophecies concerning the people from this land or us? xD Well somehow you will know what to do and when, but it's an exciting thing to have in a game

              Another thing is, the game's name is Yinarium, which is Neth's homeland, but... uh... You don't get to see it You only get to see a glimpse of Yinarium burning and all destroyed at the end of the game hehe, I think it makes it more... dynamic

Team

Me :/

Really looking for people to do this with, I mean, I wanna finish it I've got a great plot in mind, but it's just too hard and kinda boring to do it all alone... and it doesn't work out that well. Also I have a demo, but guess what? It's really buggy, and I still don't know every bug, because nobody tested it -_-

Scripts
2 Players Engine by Woratana
Sideview battle by Claimh, English Translation By: Elemental Crisis
Change battle backgroung by Claimh, English Translation By: Elemental Crisis
Max Members Fix by modern algebra

Screenshots

Spoiler for:

The game world (the demo takes part in the two islands on the left, the leftmost islands, and I've edited the map again

The first town

In conclusion, I'd like to get a team to help me out, it's kinda boring all alone :/, also I've got some grammatical errors and I'd like to know what some people think about the maps and stuff

Download link for the demo: http://www.2shared.com/file/Y_ZjALrw/Yinarium.html
The game might be slightly unbalanced, there were no testers :/

Hmmm, reformat the thread a bit. The indenting without spaces between paragraphs are making me claustrophobic.
Also, it's not a good idea to explain the story and such in the sense that you're directly explaining it to somebody. Summarize it in general form so that it's not demanding and, well, claustrophobic. Also, take a lot of those smilies out. I've learned from experience on other communities that excessive emoticons get you nowhere. Just a personal tip.

Now, onto the breakdown of this project!

The story, while the meat of it is fairly typical, has supporting details around it that keep it above water. I like the way you breathed life into a concept that's been used to death (For example, attempting to get civilians to safety through the use of portals, rather than getting all of your badass equipment together and trying to "pwn" the invaders). I think this twist is great for the story, seeing as getting trapped between trips in the portals lets the story branch out differently than if he were just evacuating civilians out of town, or attacking the invading monsters himself. I commend you heavily for not making a common mistake!

And that twist is certainly a twist. That's like, a cross-dimensional time paradox. That's so confusing. However, I am excited to see how well you execute this major plot point in the finished product!

As for the screenshot, well, like the rest of the thread, it makes me feel claustrophobic. Take out some of those trees and grass, and make room for free space. I don't think I've ever seen a town that lets numerous tree spawn wherever they please, haha.

Overall, not a bad first impression. Sometime tomorrow, I'll download the demo and try it out for real. I'll have some valid criticism then.

Hmmm, reformat the thread a bit. The indenting without spaces between paragraphs are making me claustrophobic.
Also, it's not a good idea to explain the story and such in the sense that you're directly explaining it to somebody. Summarize it in general form so that it's not demanding and, well, claustrophobic. Also, take a lot of those smilies out. I've learned from experience on other communities that excessive emoticons get you nowhere. Just a personal tip.

Now, onto the breakdown of this project!

The story, while the meat of it is fairly typical, has supporting details around it that keep it above water. I like the way you breathed life into a concept that's been used to death (For example, attempting to get civilians to safety through the use of portals, rather than getting all of your badass equipment together and trying to "pwn" the invaders). I think this twist is great for the story, seeing as getting trapped between trips in the portals lets the story branch out differently than if he were just evacuating civilians out of town, or attacking the invading monsters himself. I commend you heavily for not making a common mistake!

And that twist is certainly a twist. That's like, a cross-dimensional time paradox. That's so confusing. However, I am excited to see how well you execute this major plot point in the finished product!

As for the screenshot, well, like the rest of the thread, it makes me feel claustrophobic. Take out some of those trees and grass, and make room for free space. I don't think I've ever seen a town that lets numerous tree spawn wherever they please, haha.

Overall, not a bad first impression. Sometime tomorrow, I'll download the demo and try it out for real. I'll have some valid criticism then.

Thanks for that first impression, btw, when you play the game, ignore the grammatical problems (I've almost every time written "i" not "I"). Also the skills are not balanced, I really don't know how to do that, I try my best and some skills are overpowered :/ some are too weak, anyway you tell me what went wrong with them

One thing to note: You must talk to a guy near the church to start the grand quest

Also one thing, if by the "meat" of the story you mean the core of the story, then you'll be surprised to know how much it distances itself from the typical just later on, not right now