"Regarding Bayonetta", Or, "What The Fuck Are You Playing?"

Forget about Sonic the Hedgehog suddenly having a human love interest. Forget Liquid Snake living on through a severed arm. None of these things even compare to the sheer insanity of what is Bayonetta. I popped this game in not knowing what to expect, other than that I heard it was a little like Devil May Cry. It started out on a very high note: I was falling through the air while riding on a broken clock tower, fighting some "angels", while a voice-over exposed the story. Very cool. Then bigger shit started coming, and the intro ended. I was pumped to play. Little did I know what this game was really about.

MODERN DAY. The words flash on the screen, foretelling the lack of all coherency this game previously showed. Before the next FMV was over, I was treated to an f-bomb dropping, Joe Pesci imitator, and a nun who somehow got her clothes torn apart and transformed into a gothic emo scene girl. (All the while moaning as the clothing was cut.) A huge black zombie guy comes out of a casket and begins throwing guns to me, as I proceed to flip through the air and murder angels. Just as zombie-Barrett threw the casket into the air, I was given control again.

Intensely inputting button combos to flip, soar, fight, shoot, spin and kill is amazing fun. Then I realized that someone watching this might ask me what the fuck I was playing, because of the sheer madness that was happening on-screen:

Me, with guns on my hands and feet, doing head-twirls while shooting angels, running through a graveyard flipping and growing butterfly wings, all to the tune of "Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars". It's crazy. I can't wait to see what happens later.

Oh, and the game has "Automatic Mode" which basically means you push one button over and over again and watch cutscenes. Kind of stupid.

I heard that Bayonetta strangles you with cutscenes worse than Movie Gear Solid 4, can I get confirmation?

The cutscenes are actually quite short, although there are a lot of them.

Oh and Holk, did you get the Sonic reference on the first/prologue stage?

Oh, and the game has "Automatic Mode" which basically means you push one button over and over again and watch cutscenes. Kind of stupid.

It's so you can masturbate while you play.

Forget Liquid Snake living on through a severed arm.

Ocelot revealed he was faking it, they just tweaked his personality with NANOMACHINES.

Also I have nothing to say as I haven't played the game but the proportions of the main character is RIDICULOUS. That's all.