Has the position been filled?...o yes...

[man]So Mister, uh... Badass...is it? Did we say that right?

[Ragnar]Uh... yeah.

[man]So makes you think you're qualified for this position?

[Ragnar]Well sir, for starters I'm totally conventional, have no confidence in my abilities, and I like to insult a players intelligence with my expected simplicity.

[man]Hmmm...

[Ragnar]Also sir, there is absolutely nothing interesting about me at all!

[man]Really...

[Ragnar]Absolutely sir! I'm practically invisible. Oh and I rarely, if ever, have anything original or intelligent to say. I usually just droll on and on about things that have nothing to do with my position. And if things ever get to serious, I call Emma.

[man]Umm...who's Emma?

[Ragnar]Emma Sofuni. She's my adolescent comic relief.

[man]Well, uh...

[Ragnar]Oh! You know what else? You're gonna love this. [giggles] I can even get most of my monster slaying taken care of by just holding down the attack button. Killer right?!

[man]Yeah. Uh...where are you from again?

[Ragnar]Oh, I'm from Adolantiaargoniabrumafandonesiaallegravaloriumgallasiagenerialandia. We've got it all! Scorching deserts, vast oceans, snowy mountains, underground hellpits, and random abandoned castle-like dungeon thingys. It's so wonderful because their is absolutely no cohesion or unification at all. Ha!

[man]Sounds nice, really...Anyway, we're gonna have to cut this...

[Ragnar]Oh!! We also have a whole slue of princesses who pretend to be someone else, but we totally know they're a princess, always running away from the evil empire, that we like to call the Empire, who is constantly trying to take over the world after having just lost all their power due to some mime-like adventurer who trapped some final boss (who probably played the ol' "I'm-not-really-the-final-boss-he's-this-creepy-mutant-space-creature-thing-who-you've-never-seen-or-heard-about-before-until-now-because-you-beat-me-and-have-to-fight-him)in a shiny crystal.

[man]...

[Ragnar]So, anywho, that's why I think I'd make a good hero for your game Mr. [insert your f***ing name here].

[man]Yeah uh...we'll call you...

1. I don't even know what this is.
2. Whatever it is, it's in the wrong place.
3. You spelled slew wrong.