[Comments Please] story line for my game

[EV3 of RenGal]

this is the story line, or a quick over view of what my game is going to be about
(comment on it, see if you have any questions or problems, im mainly looking for compliments  )
EVE: Tears of Magic

1000 years ago, humans discovered an ancient magic, this magic was not at all like dark magic, or white magic. this magic fits into its own category.this magic, called Eve. those who used this power, they were considered to be in the "ordinance of Eve". on a day of an eclipse, a shadow cloud was cast upon the entire world, killing every one who had magic,on that same day] Eline, a soon-to-be mother, caught the illness, she died giving birth to a son, Kerien. hours later every one who knew magic was dead. the cloud left and the sun was shone. and kerian, still an infant, was taken to a small island of humble villagers. 19 years later, the Emperor of Rengal Empire, discovered that there was still a trace of magic on this very planet, Kerian. the emperor wanted his magic to destroy his rivals,Frivia. but what the emperor doenst know, is that kerian holds the last remaining power of eve,just enough to destroy human kind

the main point is that kerian holds this mighty power that can move even the sea itself, and the emperor wants to take it from him, so kerian has to set out and learn how to control his power in order to save the entire world from Rengal.

[Sirius]

Sounds like a fresh twist on an otherwise trite blueprint of a story. I can totally see what options you have with this one

[EV3 of RenGal]

Sounds like a fresh twist on an otherwise trite blueprint of a story. I can totally see what options you have with this one

thanks, there arent alot of ideas left out there, its all the same, character is something special, or he has a secret power in him, but my story is focused on mainly on defeating the bad guys, the bad guys are Rengal Forces, but later on in my story...(i dont say this is the story, because its a spoiler) but kerian turns bad on the side of good and bad, he is in the middle because they both want his power, so he tries to put a stop to all of this fighting, so he becomes the major threat to every country and town

[danku]

Sounds pretty cool! Just be sure to show us how bad ass his EVE magic is though. Also, any ideas on how you are going to make someone with so much power a playable main character?

[EV3 of RenGal]

well that would be easy
beggining he doesnt know how to use his power
-->middle he realizes what he is capable other
-->middle he cant control his power
-->end he controls his power and basicly becomes the most powerful person in the game (he eventually at the end rebuilds a whole new country, containing magic)

[danku]

Cool, I'd say you got a nice story there. Looking forward to the game . 

[thechromeninja]

i agree wit sirius. it sounds like your twisting the same old story around new protagonist. try letting the world blow up this time

[EV3 of RenGal]

i agree wit sirius. it sounds like your twisting the same old story around new protagonist. try letting the world blow up this time

well its not like im telling you the ending, its just how it starts, he starts off as a  19 year old or teenager and the rest will be in the game, im not telling you how it ends

and it may be the world blown up, you will see

[Nathanael]

This sounds like a pretty awesome game! I would totally play it! Nice man, nice.

[Seroms_01]

Oh you know what you can do is Have the choices the player makes determine how the story ends........It would give it more of a personal a moral taste of course its an idea you can choose to use.


Also the story sounds awesome........it gives you tons of conflicts you can create.