Starlite (RMXP)

Hey. This is my first game EVER that I have done BY MYSELF! I have made a couple games with some friends and stuff, so yeah. And this will also be the first game I will release. I've been practicing so let's hope its good. And see my sig? July 2009 isn't acurate, but I plan to have it out sometime around there. Just be patient. Anyways, heres the stuff.

Starlite's Story

   Five 15 year old kids go to a theme park to have some fun, but something bad ends up happening. As Carter, Shay, Ahslee, and Patrick, you will have to find the one missing person! You will travel through vast desserts, ghost towns, and and complexing dungeons as you try to solve the mystery to Starlite park. Good luck, and may the Redd be with you.

Characters

   I will give you the info on four of the five characters, since one of them is a secret. You find out who it is at the first part of the game, but If I talked about this person then it would kind of ruin the surprise. BTW, Carter is the main character and it's is kind of first person, so he's always talking. And Carter is me, I just bumped myself up two years XD

   Carter (first person mode)
   "I'm is a young boy who likes to hang out with"
   "my friends, play video games, and just have fun"
   "with my life. Yays."

   Shay
   Shay has a kind of sick mind, but he is pretty much always being funny or crazy in some sort. He's in very good shape, and one of the best kid athletes I know that doesn't cheat his way out of everything. Well, he does on spelling tests.

   Ashlee
   Ashlee is a huge tomboy, although, she's really cute. Shay's really lucky to have her as a girlfriend. Not that I like her, just she's cute. But I've already got someone... Fuyfuyfuy.

   Patrick
   Patrick is my best bud. He's been my friend since kindergarten, maybe even preschool, and has been the best person I have ever met. Once Patrick gets married, his wife and children with be the luckiest of all of us.

Questions and Answers

Q. Why make this game?
A. I actually wrote a little story about it. I'm kind of extending it and adding stuff to make it good for an RPG game.

Q. Are the characters real?
A. In fact, they are real. All of their descriptions are what I would actually say about them too. They are some of my thousands of best friends, but these are just the ones I feel are really appropriate for what I am trying to make here.

Q. Why did you write the story?
A. I actually had a dream about it one night. My "girlfriend" got taken away, or some mysterious thing like that, and I had to go save her. It ended way to soon though, and I can't remember all of it. I added some stuff to the story also that wasn't in my dream.

Q. What type of RPG is this?
A. It is a mystery/puzzle game. It has mystery because of the "person" getting taken away, and puzzle for all of the hard dungeons you have to get by.

Q. Why make it a puzzle game?
A. Simple. Because I suck at battles. Don't know the stats, and tons of other crap-ooshi. I like puzzle games too because it shows my true eventing skills. I am a really great eventer, so yeah.

Q. Will you have enough time to finish the game with school?
A. I get on the computer every day, and during the days where I have school and tons of homework, if I do get on I will work on my game a lot and maybe post a couple posts here.

Q. What are some features in this game?
A. The list of features is right here

1. There is a custom title screen made with events.
2. There are tons of scripts, but not too much to make it laggy.
3. There are tons more things and most of them are done with events. Of course, made by me. There will be little mini games that had a lot of eventing to them also, so yeah.

Spoiler for Screenshots:

no screenshots currently. I have my iPod in the computer and we only have two USB drives, so yeah. Next time I work on my game there WILL be screenshots. Promise.

There will be more stuff later, since I have to go now, so once I get back on I will update. It is still a fairly early project, and next I will upload some screens and put some more features on here.

Redd Redd Redd Redd Redd Redd Redd Redd

You just interviewed yourself. 

yeah i know. But how do you like the game? Oh yeah I have to add screenshots those are coming up in just a sec

Five 15 year old kids go to a theme park to have some fun,

Okay.

but something bad ends up happening.

Oh yeah, eh.

As Carter, Shay, Ahslee, and Patrick, you will have to find the one missing person!

Why?

You will travel through vast desserts, ghost towns, and and complexing dungeons as you try to solve the mystery to Starlite park.

wtf why?

Good luck, and my the Redd be with you.

My the Redd be with you?

And I read the rest, this sounds terrible. Don't make a game for the sake of that you found a RPG Maker program. Come up with a better story. I don't understand why the character section of what you wrote is in first person, why would you do that?

Carter (first person mode)
   "I'm is a young boy who likes to hang out with"

I'm is a young boy? Hang out with?

   "my friends, play video games, and just have fun"
   "with my life. Yays."

Holy banana in my ass.

Q. Are the characters real?
A. In fact, they are real.

 

Think I'm mean? I'm hard on shitty games.

You fucking interviewed yourself.

   "my friends, play video games, and just have fun"
   "with my life. Yays."

Holy banana in my ass.

Wow.

At least he's old enough to be on the forums.

Also, if you're great with events, I have a system that needs helpin'
http://rmrk.net/index.php/topic,29070.msg361945.html#msg361945

You are filth, your game sucks, you know nothing, die.

Lay off a bit guys, his game does look bad, but at least he's taken the time to make a decent topic.

Point is though, the storyline doesn't look good and you may want to consider dropping it. You shouldn't just base a story off a dream, think more about it and try not to make it cliche. Right now it sounds like some crappy children's book.

okay okay, it might sound stupid, but really, it will be good. And this is my first game by myself, so please go easy. I mean, banana in your butt? gay.

Next time I'll have the my Redd in me.

Hey Redd,

I noticed that a lot of people seem to think your story is crap...however with a few edits it could become a rather decent game. It could even be turned into a rather interesting horror.
However there are a few things I'm going to suggest:

1. Get a new banner. That one is hoenstly embarrasing. I could make a better one, and I'm not even very good a graphics design. I'm almost tempted to do so.
2. Perhaps don't make your characters leave the park? travelling through "desserts" maybe very RPG-esque however keeping it in the theme park would keep it realistic. Many puzzles could easily be played out in the park; for example it could be that you have to unlock certain areas by figuring out puzzles in one area by fixing equipment, getting on dangerous equipment or plain detective work.
3. Think out your characters! Yes, everyone of them is an individual, however make sure you keep true to their individuality; for example would you SERIOUSLY say what Carter says? I don't know anyone who speaks like that, and I'm 15 myself. Stay true to the way they actually speak. And if that means making them swear, do so.
4. For beejebus sake do not make yourself sound corny in game or outside. "May the Redd be with you"?

More to the point, rework your characters and story just a tad and you'll have an interesting concept. And don't hesitate to ask for that banner =p.