the chosen one. ( let me know what you think)

ok..this is my first game and i want to hear your opinion about it.(sorry my bad english im spanish)

Story:
20 years ago a priestess lost her father.
4 years later she gave birth to a little girl.
but the world of Caisin was not the right place
to give birth to little ones especially for the
priestess each of them have their own duty,
to protect Caisin's life crystals from destuction.
if they get destroyed Caisin will perish.
but priestess Maria let her child live
and she gave her a name ''Marion''
but the times were hard and she couldnt take
care of a little child while the other priestess
were trying their hardest to keep the crystals alive.
so she sent Marion trough the World portal.
and placed her in a small forest town ''Eshik''
''im sorry'' was the last words Marion ever heard from her mother.
---------------------------------------------------------------
The little girl grew up to be a fine Warrior
training under the high respected Elders she and her friend Marcus
became werry close.
since Marcus lost his parents in the great war agains the Cameons,
he never trusted anyone but Marion.
but when the oldest Town elder elder 'esha'' takes
Marcus away for 3 years everythings changed.
the Elders died, the Cameons and the Eshiks continued fighting.
and Marion lived her life unknowing what was gonna happen to her.
in time she would know.

Marion castelle.
age: 16
Class: fighter.
description: Marion is the main heroine of the game,
she has a strong will and she always belived in the town elders
she always has faith in herself and her friend Marcus.
after reading Marcus note and meeting with a mysterious man
Marion is sent trough time again without knowing where she came from.
all she knew was that she needed to find Marcus, and that fast.

Marcus Latzon
age: 17
Class: Fighter
description: Hes been Marions childhood friend as long as he can remember.
he lost his parents long ago in the great war.
he live alone in a old cottage.
after returning to the village after 3 years of training
he mysteriously(??) disapeared from Marions world.

Zayne

age: 19
Class: white/dark mage
description: a character you will meet later in the game.
after revealing lord Kasum's plans Zayne escapes his prison
and decides to join Marion in her quest to rescue Marcus.

Vera
age: ??
Class: Caisinian
description: a girl who wants to help Marion on her quest.
she dosent want to speak about her parents or past.


should i make a demo of this game?
should i work more on the story ? (i aready know that i need to)
or should i just throw this game away?

world portal :  caisin and the real world are two different places.
if the life crystals get destroyed caisin will disapear and the children in the
real world would stop beliving in magic.


maps: 24% done
Charas: 96% done
script: 5%
face graphics: 60%

game : 26 % done.

sorry there is something wrong with the print screen buton so
i cant take screen shots

Crystals keeping the world intact is the biggest cliche in fantasy EVER
'The Chosen One' is pretty cliche too.
You also have a character who is mysterious and unknown. You do not need one, it is not required to make a game contrary to popular belief.

so she sent Marion trough the time portal.

Into the future? past?



The crystals and such are pretty cliche. I agree, the title is cliche as well. However, although the story is pretty cliche, I think something like this could require some sort of mysterious person.
Figure this: The 'time portal' you mentioned. You play as Marion, you do your thing, you find this portal and you go through it. You meet a mysterious person that could very well "stalk" you. Not in a bad way however. More like..."guard" you from a distance.
Anyway, the spoiler being that the mysterious person is your mom from another time.

Or even, you don't need to find the portal. If you're sent into the past you can play Marion and as you grow up and play though you could meet your mother in the past before you were actually born to change the outcome of your life and fight for whatever reason and fix all this crap before it happens. Therefore erasing yourself from that time, but fixing the world. Yadayada.

Or you get thrown into the future and then I don't know where you'd go with this story...


Anyway, it's ok. Cliche, but...ok. Even the ages of the characters are pretty cliche.

should i make a demo of this game?
should i work more on the story ? (i aready know that i need to)
or should i just throw this game away?

If you intend to carry on with this, then yes. Always make a demo.
Yes, you do need to work on your story a lot more.
No, don't throw this away, if it's your first game, play with it, learn from it, make another game perhaps. It'll be better.

alright ill work more on this.

but i really like games when they are cliche it makes  the game fun to make.

alright ill work more on this.

but i really like games when they are cliche it makes  the game EASY to make.

Fix'd

But please do continue to work on this. It'll be better for you to learn from it anyway.