Need help writing a story-line RMXP

Hello, I've been working on a game.. And even though I should have done it first, I just started on the story line. I'm not very good at writing, and I would like it if someone could take my short, generalized story, and write it out better. And also help finish it.

I'm doing it all by myself, but I AM using mostly default RMXP resources. I'm going to edit the characters and stuff for my own needs though, and get my own music + sound effects. I'm not sure if I will have magic or not. I probably will.

I am using (and have installed) Blizzard's-ABS.

I'm not really sure what to name it yet, the only thing I've come up with so far, is: A boy, a king, and a army.
I don't really like it that much.. What do you think?


I describe a few things, like a cutscene, could someone actually write it out?


Opening cutscene: A young child playing with his father (just about 10 seconds long).
Fades into another cut scene: A new king and queen are appointed (or whatever the word is for it-I have to look it up), a crown is placed on the king and queen's heads.
Fades into yet another cut scene: The king and queen (this isn't right after they where made king and queen, its approximately a year later, but seconds later in the cutscene) are walking in the garden. The queen says: Yes, I think the taxes should be lowered. With this dry weather, the farmer's crop's will be dying, and they will need money for food. King answers (something like...): What would you say to a 8% tax decrease? Queen: 8% is good, when can it be done? King: As soon as the council will allow it. *They arrive at the castle doors* Queen: Oh dear, I believe I left my *Item* (not sure what yet.. a necklace?) in the gardens, you go ahead and ask an audience with the council, I will be there in a few minutes. *king goes inside the castle, and queen goes back towards the gardens*. *Queen arrives at the place she left her *item*, picks it up, then starts to head back*. *A man in black amour (an assassin) blocks her path, then 2 more block her from the left and right* *She backs up, but a mage (in black) blocks her from behind. they surround her, then the mage casts a spell and they disappear*
Fades into a cutscene: The child that was playing with his father in the other cutscene is a little older now, and is working the crops with his father.
Fades into a cutscene: The king orders a group of guards to look for his wife.
Fades into a cutscene: The guards return, they couldn't find any sign of her.
Fades into a cutscene: The king at a meeting with the council, king orders a 20% increase in taxes.
Fades into a cutscene: The child (now not a child) and his family aren't doing well, with the increased taxes, and the dry weather, they are low on food.
They hear a knock on the door, the father answers it, after a few seconds, steps outside.
Fades into a cutscene: The father comes back in the door. He tells his family that he has been drafted (or whatever its called.. they make him join the army), and must leave tomorrow. He must serve 4 years.
Fades into a cutscene: his father leaving.
Then after that you gain control of your character.

And, its not finished yet, but basically, the kid (though not a kid once you gain control of him) learns to fight, finds out that there is a large army that eventually is going to try to take down the empire (the empire-I think thats what I'll call the king, his army, and all that stuff), but they are in hiding (I'm thinking that they are on top of a huge mountain. I'm mapping a cave at the base of the mountain, that you have to go through to get to the top of the mountain. And the mountain is heavily guarded.), and while they hide, they're finding people to join the army, getting armour/weapons/supplys, and once they are ready, they will attack the empire.
The boy eventually joins the army, learns new things, and I'm thinking the leader of the hidden army (haven't named them yet) sends you (the main character) on missions. Such as sneaking into the Empire's castle, and stealing a document. And each time you do something for the hidden army, you gain respect in the army. And eventually, become a General (or whatever I decide to name it). And lead a small elite group of soldiers in the attack for the castle.

To sum it up: The king starts out as a good king, everyone's happy. His wife gets abducted (he thinks killed-I'm not sure if she really does die yet, or is just a prisoner), and he gets angry and turns evil. He starts to control everyone, but some people manage to get away and start to form an army in secret. The boy joins the army. The commander of the secret army sends you on secret missions (like, obtain the king's plans, stuff like that). You eventually become a general, and lead the army's best soldiers into battle. From there.. not sure yet.


But anyway, thats a rough estimate of what the story line will be.
And by the way, the cutscenes in the beginning aren't going to be that long. It sounds like they will be long, but it will only take a minute or two.
What do you think of the general idea? I don't think its been done before in a game, but I'm not sure.

CC welcome.

I'm working on a demo, but I'm not sure when it's going to be done.


Thanks for any help!

You need help with what again? That seems good enough for me I dont understand your problem honestly.

Well, I guess I'm going to re-write everything when I actually enter it into the game, but I mainly want a written out story line that I can post along with my game demo, so people can read the story line, and get an idea of what it's about.
I also want to know how you like the actual plot, have you heard of any games that are basically the same story, or is it a first for you? Do you like it?
I really just want to know what people think of it.
I've actually changed a few things in the actual game. I have the intro cut scene's almost finished.

When I finish the intro, I'm going to provide a download of it, and ask what you think of it. Because I don't think I worded it very good. But I'll post what I want to know when I'm done with the intro..

Hey, I was doing a google search trying to find help for a storyline myself (As I am incapable of writing a storyline, lmfao) and found this post.

I joined just to reply.

I haven't done anything yet, but I have some good idea's. (Some really good one's).

Even though you posted this in '08, I feel like I must offer my help.

Oh, and I might make my own game with the modified storyline for personal use only. (I'll include you in credits if I do decide to do it. (I make credits, yes, even in the games I don't release to public.))