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Final Legend: My Prolouge

Started by Sayidion, April 30, 2008, 07:11:56 PM

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Sayidion

Hey i just want to know how my prolouge sounds.

In the time, when the Legend Crystal fades from world.
Man will face the evils of Lord Novus Ordo.
All will fall upon his shadow, none shall hide.
The world; cast into despair shall bring forth heros of mysterious origin.
Together; they will unite  the Crystals of Legend.
And bring back the Legend Crystal,
So that peace and harmony can rule again.
These heros, are of the Final Legend.

Leventhan

"Crystals" are one of the infamous cliches. :(

Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Sayidion

Well i really could not think of any thing. But if anyone has something better im willing to listen! :)

Foxtrot

It sounds very complex but it's holding back a bit too much, I think. For example, you haven't told us what the Legend Crystal is or who Novus is.

aquaticneko

Quote from: Foxtrot on May 11, 2008, 12:32:56 AM
It sounds very complex but it's holding back a bit too much, I think. For example, you haven't told us what the Legend Crystal is or who Novus is.

As Foxtrot said, sounds very vague. maybe you should break it down and explain a little what the prologue is about

Blulightning

Well people, it's a PROLOUGE, not the whole story!! It's supposed to be poetic and weird, right? Maybe instead of a crystal, a... ooooh I got it!! A word, a word that when spoken gives the speaker power over EVERYTHING!!


~~~
Pancho :mex:

Mushroom Panda

Make it, instead of a crystal, like a weapon or something.