[Writing] The Afterlife (poem)

The Afterlife-Written by SorceressKyrsty on the 22 of February, 2005 (I was 11)


A cool breeze whispers through the trees,
As I walk across an endless plain.
I come across myself laying,
Staring at the sky.
Then I start to wonder, start to wonder, why?
Why do we fight, why do we use guns,
To so many of us the fat lady has sung.
My time has ended, and I am a ghost,
One of the dead who walk the endless plain.
Where those who have been slain or shot,
Wonder around as their families mourn and their bodies rot,
Questioning why did they die,
Did we do anything, were we bad or good,
Why, why, why?
But now we know what is the afterlife,
It is an endless plain,
Where the tears fall as the rain.
Do comment .

yes kirsti......and that is me that thinks iron man sucks!!!  hahaha!

im sitting next to you in class=P

iHATE iron man
worste movie ever!!

Ah, yes, this is a nice one. But next time please press the enter button before writing "Do comment", cause some people might think it's part of the poem (though the chance is really slim). XD

The rhyming needs more work, but anyway, I like the middle part.
But... Erm, why the fat lady?
In the other hand, if I may know, what inspires you to write this?
Oh, and moreover, I have to say that the title doesn't really fit the content, really. It's not my place to critique about it, since I'm bad at giving titles anyway, but... I just don't think it fits. Like, the poem is more about war and pain, the afterlife is only mentioned in the last part... Very last part.

I like the finishing, though. =3