Ask a Texan

Djangofat made the last one and everyone knows shes not a real Texan. So ask away

how fat are you?

hows the ranch?

How bout dem Cowboys

how fat are you?

Im skinny, my body absorbs beef and makes it into thermonuclear energy for me to fight pollution

hows the ranch?

Great actually, just got a new herd of cattle

How bout dem Cowboys

It's not football season >:|

Have you ever branded a cow?

Have you ever kicked Chuck Norris' ass because he isn't a real Texas Ranger?

Have you seen the Alamo?

Do you remember the Alamo?

Do you like Texas fried chicken?

What is Texas? 

What is Texas? 

...

Have you ever branded a cow?

Yes

Have you ever kicked Chuck Norris' ass because he isn't a real Texas Ranger?

No

Have you seen the Alamo?

Do you remember the Alamo?

I have been in the Alamo three times

Yes

Do you like Texas fried chicken?

Duh

What is Texas? 

Best damn place on Earth

Do you have bad pizza there?

No actually we have great pizza. Nothing beats our bbq or tex-mex though.

How much tumbleweed can you see flying about?

Infinite, but if the question is "How much do I?" I've only see tumbleweeds like once every 2 months

Infinite, but if the question is "How much do I?" I've only see tumbleweeds like once every 2 months

I meant if you look outside the window right now nvmnvm

faggot

The window in my room goes to the side yard, all I see is dog poop and fence.

How's the weather down there, mate?

It rained today so only like 80 degrees.

Does it rain often in Texas?

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

The window in my room goes to the side yard, all I see is dog poop and fence.

Catch it on fire.

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

Well not really, it just started raining alot. Weve been in a drought these past years.

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

Well not really, it just started raining alot. Weve been in a drought these past years.

Is the great flood coming?

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

Well not really, it just started raining alot. Weve been in a drought these past years.

Is the great flood coming?

I don't know, but I'd ask Iowa 

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

Well not really, it just started raining alot. Weve been in a drought these past years.

Is the great flood coming?

I don't know, but I'd ask Iowa 

I'd ask Louisiana

HOH HOH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH

So is it really a dry heat in Texas or was my neighbor full of crap?

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

Well not really, it just started raining alot. Weve been in a drought these past years.

Is the great flood coming?

I don't know, but I'd ask Iowa 

I'd ask Louisiana

HOH HOH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH

Well Im pretty sure Baton Rouge (where I live) knows nothing about a flood.

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

Well not really, it just started raining alot. Weve been in a drought these past years.

Is the great flood coming?

I don't know, but I'd ask Iowa 

I'd ask Louisiana

HOH HOH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH

Well Im pretty sure Baton Rouge (where I live) knows nothing about a flood.

Its a Katrina joke

So is it really a dry heat in Texas or was my neighbor full of crap?

It varies, though dry heat isnt as bad as when its humid.
103 degrees + Saturation = JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IT FEELS LIKE 200 DEGREES AAH WHY IS SO STICKY GET THE FUCK AWAY MOSQUITOES ;o; Im dying .

It was 82 two nights ago, but it's barely ever humid.

Does Texas have any stores that do not sell cowboy hats?

It was 82 two nights ago, but it's barely ever humid.

Does Texas have any stores that do not sell cowboy hats?

We have like 2 stores that sell cowboy hats. Texans are born with cowboy hats so we do not need to buy them

I would like to see some one born with a cowboy hat, do you have any pitures? Because that would be pretty bad ass.

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

Well not really, it just started raining alot. Weve been in a drought these past years.

Is the great flood coming?

I don't know, but I'd ask Iowa 

I'd ask Louisiana

HOH HOH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH

Well Im pretty sure Baton Rouge (where I live) knows nothing about a flood.

Its a Katrina joke

Obviously! They did it wrong, cause like at least half of Louisiana was barely affected by Katrina (like myself)

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

Well not really, it just started raining alot. Weve been in a drought these past years.

Is the great flood coming?

I don't know, but I'd ask Iowa 

I'd ask Louisiana

HOH HOH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH

Well Im pretty sure Baton Rouge (where I live) knows nothing about a flood.

Its a Katrina joke

Obviously! They did it wrong, cause like at least half of Louisiana was barely affected by Katrina (like myself)

IT'S NOT AN ALL OF LOUISIANA JOKE IT'S A KATRINA JOKE

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

Well not really, it just started raining alot. Weve been in a drought these past years.

Is the great flood coming?

I don't know, but I'd ask Iowa 

I'd ask Louisiana

HOH HOH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH

Well Im pretty sure Baton Rouge (where I live) knows nothing about a flood.

Its a Katrina joke

Obviously! They did it wrong, cause like at least half of Louisiana was barely affected by Katrina (like myself)

IT'S NOT AN ALL OF LOUISIANA JOKE IT'S A KATRINA JOKE

Plus, it only really flooded New Orleans.

Does it rain often in Texas?

Yes.

Well not really, it just started raining alot. Weve been in a drought these past years.

Is the great flood coming?

I don't know, but I'd ask Iowa 

I'd ask Louisiana

HOH HOH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH

Well Im pretty sure Baton Rouge (where I live) knows nothing about a flood.

Its a Katrina joke

Obviously! They did it wrong, cause like at least half of Louisiana was barely affected by Katrina (like myself)

IT'S NOT AN ALL OF LOUISIANA JOKE IT'S A KATRINA JOKE

Plus, it only really flooded New Orleans.

Does it really fucking matter you faggot?!

"OH MY GOD A GIANT WHIRLWIND TOOK OUT HALF OF THE UNITED STATES!"

"To be truthful it only took at 24 states"

"... what."

Don't be so fucking technical, now I wished you would have been fucking flooded. Way to ruin an actually funny joke you fucking waste of space faggot.

He's trying to impress us with his knowledge of Louisiana.

I am unimpressed

 

I was pointing out your mistake.
The difference between one state and one city is rather large.

That is indeed bad ass.

Can I borrow your shotgun? I have some... things to take care of. 

No fuck you, what does it look like Im made of guns?

badass

That's one the former U.S.S. Texas'. A nuclear powered battleship, second of its kind. However now the U.S.S. Texas is the second (and best) nuclear powered submarine enlisted in the U.S. Navy. The first U.S.S. Texas also happened to be the first battleship ever used by the United States Navy. And the second one was some shit I dont remember.

Spoiler for:

    * The first Texas was the US Navy's first battleship, which served from 1895 until 1911.
    * The second Texas (BB-35) is a dreadnought battleship that served in both World Wars.
    * The third Texas (CGN-39) was the second Virginia-class nuclear guided missile cruiser.
    * The fourth Texas (SSN-775) was commissioned on September 9, 2006 and is the second Virginia-class nuclear attack submarine.

Is that the one outside the San Jacinto monument? I've been on that.

Texas > You

Could Texas beat Russia in a fist fight?

Duh

Do you like me?

Yes,
What country do you live in ?_?

Would Texas be as great is it is now, if it were part of Mexico instead of the US?

 

Would Texas be as great is it is now, if it were part of Mexico instead of the US?

 

You need to understand that during the transition from Mexico to the United States, Texas was its own country. Before it was its own country, it was basically a part of Mexico with alot of white people. Texas didnt exist until after it became a country. So, your question is flawed, and you are a faggot.

How often do you eat steak.

.

How often do you eat steak.

.

2-3 times a week

If we met face to face would one of us end up dead within the hour?

Yes,
What country do you live in ?_?

Asia ;-;

Asia is a continent silly.

If we met face to face would one of us end up dead within the hour?

Depends on what team you're on, compadre.

Is your dad a republican?

Nice to see you have my back, compadre.

Asia is a continent silly.

Singapore ;-;

Why does Texas suck so much?

Because you're about to get banned

Because you're about to get banned

Oh noes! Banishment!

Is it true that everything is bigger in Texas, if so, would you like to drop your pants and sword fight?

Why does Texas suck so much?

RAGE

Because you're about to get banned

Oh noes! Banishment!

Is it true that everything is bigger in Texas, if so, would you like to drop your pants and sword fight?

No faggot, I dont want to kill you.

=(

=(

Texas > Your skinny metrosexual ass

My ass isn't metrosexual, its try sexual.. if you try anything sexual with my ass I'll kick yours.

My ass isn't metrosexual, its try sexual.. if you try anything sexual with my ass I'll kick yours.

There is no person on this site that could win a fight with me.

Gee that didnt make sense, maybe its because you're a nigger.

My ass isn't metrosexual, its try sexual.. if you try anything sexual with my ass I'll kick yours.

There is no person on this site that could win a fight with me.

You mistake me for someone who actually fights fair. =(
I'd throw ninja stars if possible.. from a great distance.

My ass isn't metrosexual, its try sexual.. if you try anything sexual with my ass I'll kick yours.

There is no person on this site that could win a fight with me.

You mistake me for someone who actually fights fair. =(
I'd throw ninja stars if possible.. from a great distance.

I can sprint for about 5 minutes straight.

Stop posting in this topic faggot, post in here

My ass isn't metrosexual, its try sexual.. if you try anything sexual with my ass I'll kick yours.

There is no person on this site that could win a fight with me.

You mistake me for someone who actually fights fair. =(
I'd throw ninja stars if possible.. from a great distance.

I can sprint for about 5 minutes straight.

... Kay? Lol Random, its been fun.. tired as hell.. sleep time nao.

My ass isn't metrosexual, its try sexual.. if you try anything sexual with my ass I'll kick yours.

There is no person on this site that could win a fight with me.

You mistake me for someone who actually fights fair. =(
I'd throw ninja stars if possible.. from a great distance.

I can sprint for about 5 minutes straight.

... Kay? Lol Random, its been fun.. tired as hell.. sleep time nao.

You sleep and someone will slice you from under your bed.

Nightmare on Elm Street <3

What's your favorite movie?

What's your favorite movie?

Children of Men

What's your favorite movie?

Children of Men

I wanted to see it, I heard that was good, so I'll probably rent it soon.

DO YOU EVER WRASTLE WITH BULLS?

HELL YEAH

HELL YEAH

DATS OFF DA HOOK MANG

DID YOU EVER WRESTLE A BEAR

DID YOU EVER WRESTLE A BEAR

YEAH MAN I WRESTLED A BEAR ONCE

What color is your Ford F-250?

What color is your Ford F-250?

It's a 150, and it's navy blue. The interior is themed ;o. I'll get pics in a bit.

lol Anski's idea of winning a fight is running away for 5 minutes

Hey, aren't those huge belt buckles uncomfortable to wear? They must be, in the very least for fat people.

lol Anski's idea of winning a fight is running away for 5 minutes

Hey, aren't those huge belt buckles uncomfortable to wear? They must be, in the very least for fat people.

Mine isn't so bad

Spoiler for:

It's kinda too big for the belt though so it gets annoying putting it on sometimes.

yeah Texas is pretty cool