[Writing] 2 Plotlines!

WORLD PLOTLINE: BOSLA

The sky will turn red and the clouds will block out the sun. That is what will happen when the gate to Batroga Tower is open and anyone scurries through before the time is right.

A wise sage of the heavens named Magesto had lead his people out of the tower fearing the death of the heavens when the rogue angels invaded. He has now stood guard at the gate for three generations to prevent his people from entering the tower before the time is right.

Since he has walked on this terra, Magesto has fathered one son and became the grand father to three kings. At the death of his son Legalas, each of the three kings proclaimed themselves lord of the land. Since then the land has been divided into thirds.

Armatropa is the land to the east, full of rough terrain between mountains and a balmy forest. Vestopa is the cursed and wretched land to the south west, and Shenagard is the smallest of the three lands, but has the greatest inhabitable area.

Between the three lands is the town of Batroga, located at the base of the tower to the heavens; a tower that extends past the clouds and into the sky. That is the legend that has been passed down for nearly 80 years. The tower is located in a desert that is considered neutral territory by all three kings. It is only neutral territory, because it is devoid of resources, except that of sand.

However, the evil Lord Sordik now wants into the tower in order to conquer a land that he has seen only in the stories that Magesto has told him. Sordik’s power comes from an unholy bargain made with the undead to follow his mighty voice. He has used this ghastly army to attack the towering walls of Batroga to enter the gate for himself.

A year of attacks has gone by with the men of Batroga rallied together and stood tall to defend their town from Lord Sordik. Magesto merely stood idly by and watched the men of his village get slaughtered, leaving only the women, children and elderly. The only thing standing in his way of the gate is a town full of defenseless people and an elderly sage that only has a warning as a weapon. There will be one more attack as Sordik brings all of the supplies that he needs to conquer the paradise that is at the top of the tower.

The pleas of Batroga's people have fallen on deaf ears. King Samurik of Shenagard has been caught in turmoil of his own. His brother King Armonik craves to expand his territory. The battle of their two lands is at an end though, with King Samurik standing tall and ready to occupy the land of his defeated brother.

Now the only hope to save the people of Batroga is a hero born half a world away. A stranger to the kingdom of turmoil, this hero must travel through all three kingdoms collecting the treasures forged Legalas in order to awaken the one that can bring unity to his once great empire.

Subterranean castles, undead armies, and aggressive nations await the hero, all to save the people caught between hostile invaders and Magesto who refuses to let anyone through the gate until the time is right.

The journey starts in the hero's hometown after a mysterious letter needs to be delivered on behalf of a knight.

COMMENTS

This is more the plotline for the entire game, but the major plotline differs from world to world.

This is not just a back story. It is the story of my current game (World Crafters). I did not originally intend for this to be the plotline, but it ended up really good, so I am going with it. Let me know what you think.

That was awesome! I can't wait to play your game.

Alright... Not too bad. Although a couple of missing elements though:
Why exactly do these people want to get into the tower? Is it a road to paradise or something? Any motivator works, as long as something's there. And describing anyone as evil is too simplistic. If you want a really involved plot, this guy needs something driving him aside from his absolute evilness... Once again, the same motivator for the tower applies, if he wants the tower. And when is this appropriate time? Or does that tie into the plot at all? Does anything occur while the game is being played, or is this just a backdrop against which the game occurs? But I guess if you say it's the story... Does that mean that's all there is? And who's the third king? ...And where did Magesto come from? Does he have a story? Just some things to think about, nothing too major.

And have you ever played Final Fantasy Legend? If not, this is scarily similar.

Alright... Not too bad. Although a couple of missing elements though:
Why exactly do these people want to get into the tower?

Is it a road to paradise or something?

Any motivator works, as long as something's there.

And describing anyone as evil is too simplistic.

If you want a really involved plot, this guy needs something driving him aside from his absolute evilness...

Once again, the same motivator for the tower applies, if he wants the tower.

And when is this appropriate time?

Or does that tie into the plot at all?

Does anything occur while the game is being played, or is this just a backdrop against which the game occurs?

But I guess if you say it's the story... Does that mean that's all there is? And who's the third king?

...And where did Magesto come from?

Does he have a story?

Just some things to think about, nothing too major.

And have you ever played Final Fantasy Legend? If not, this is scarily similar.

This is based off of Final Fantasy Legend... only mine has a plot instead of just a tower.

Everything unfolds while playing the game, but I didn't want to tip too much off. Anyway, incase you cannot wait.

If you look closely, the tri kings are:
Armonik
Samurik
Sordik

Their father is Legalas, who's father is Magesto who came from the top of the tower long ago.

As for why they are doing it, read the spoiler, but yes you are right.

REAL SPOILER, but if you don't want to play the game...

Spoiler for:

Samurik attacks and kills Armonik.
However, propaganda would lead you to believe that Armonik provoked it.
After facing and losing to Sordik, the player gets pinned down at the tower, where Sordik is attacking.
Samurik appears with his army...
Not to save the player and the people, but to align himself with his "evil brother"
They want into the tower, because of the monsterous weapon inside
The monsterous weapon that has killed off the worlds joined by the tower. A weapon that Magesto lead his people to the bottom of the tower to avoid.
Samurik has the player imprisoned.
The player returns to the tower to find everyone but Magesto dead.
Samurik and Sordik did not force their way in, Magesto's own people forced their way in and the two kings followed through! The people want safety, the kings want the weapon.

Good?

Wow, someone else who was actually inspired by an old, mistranslated, programming-error-riddled, classic RPG. And I thought I was the only one. Are you replicating the meat system? That would be awesome...

Sorry, got confused about the kings... Didn't realize the names were there. So that makes three, that's set then.

Anyway, that's a lot nicer now... Though I guess I should put comments about spoilers in spoiler tags...

Spoiler for:

When does the hero actually learn about what is hidden in the tower? Might be good to tell that early or at least hint at some power stored within, so that plot isn't nonsensical. Does the player actually get involved with the kings, as in, do they have a character? Or else just brainless NPCs ala FFL? And who exactly is the protagonist? And do have any other party members? And how does the player meet Samurik/Armonick? This conflict seems resolved before you actually get there. I'm still confused on where the player stands in all of this.

Anyway, that's a lot nicer now... Though I guess I should put comments about spoilers in spoiler tags...

Spoiler for:

When does the hero actually learn about what is hidden in the tower?

Might be good to tell that early or at least hint at some power stored within, so that plot isn't nonsensical.

Does the player actually get involved with the kings, as in, do they have a character?

Or else just brainless NPCs ala FFL?

And who exactly is the protagonist?

And do have any other party members?

And how does the player meet Samurik/Armonick?

This conflict seems resolved before you actually get there.

I'm still confused on where the player stands in all of this.

My responses

Spoiler for:

When does the hero actually learn about what is hidden in the tower?

 - In it? Magesto tells them just before they answer (8 hours into gameplay for me). The entire game could be leading up to the tower.

Might be good to tell that early or at least hint at some power stored within, so that plot isn't nonsensical.

 - The player learns that Magesto lead his people to the bottom of the tower and out to save them from something inside that will cause 100 years of distruction. In the game the player starts playing at year 80.

Does the player actually get involved with the kings, as in, do they have a character?

 - The kings have a character, but this is pretty old school. Not a lot of dialog, but it gets the point across. The player HUGELY gets involved with Magesto, Samurik and Sordik.
Why?
 - Magesto must be spoken with a lot, the entire town's focus is on Magesto this, Magesto that.
 - Sordik, is the well known villain, the player interacts with him many times in an attempt to stop him
 - Samurik is the deceptive King that the player asks for help, then later gets imprisoned and has an entire kingdom after the party.

Or else just brainless NPCs ala FFL?

 - Nope, not brainless at all, have you seen my AI? Its deep! Talk / Info / Rumors / Duel

And who exactly is the protagonist?

 - The player's party. This is old school, its not really a protagonist, so much as being "there." However, there are developing side characters like Rue.

And do have any other party members?

 - Just the party, sorry. The Maia games have the great protagonists, but it seemed like no one plays it past 1 hour. So why bother?

And how does the player meet Samurik/Armonick?

 - The player meets Samurik by being sent from Batroga (the town of tower) by their unofficial leader Rue (character that becomes a major character).
 - The player meets Armonik when he is sent by Samurik to get a suit of legendary armor. The player finds Armonik inside of a cell in his own prison! Armonik is the only man alive in his castle! Armonik thinks the player is an assassin, so you can either duel with Armonik or aide him. Either way, the player gets told the secret to get the armor. however... its a trap! Armonik's pet thinks differently. After all if Armonik wanted the player to have the key to the treasure chest, he wouldn't have fed it to his solid stone pet!
 - The player meets Sordik (Lord Black) in Sordik's kingdom. The player needs the armor of Legalas to defeat or even withstand Sordik's attacks! The player survives... Then ends up back at Batroga, durring an attack.

This conflict seems resolved before you actually get there.

 - The conflict shifts to save the people. However, between the people and the player are Sordik and Samurik along with their armies!

I'm still confused on where the player stands in all of this.

 - The player's role shifts.

To continue the spoiler conversation...

Spoiler for:

If the nature of whatever is in the tower is unknown, why do people want to enter? Or I suppose it's general knowledge that it's a weapon, so...

And you have this out in some form? I'd enjoy at least trying it out.

Like the faceless heroes... I guess that's a virus distributed by FFL anyways... As long as the side characters really are developed it's great. Though that becomes even more vital to have the intelligent AI and side development.

What exactly is Rue's role in relation to Magesto? Is Magesto simply a guard, with Rue as the populace's head?

Like the choices the hero has through the story. Always makes it a bit more interesting without a central personality.

Anyway, I like it.

Hm, starting to sound interesting! >3

Spoiler for:

If the nature of whatever is in the tower is unknown, why do people want to enter? Or I suppose it's general knowledge that it's a weapon, so...

 - The people of Batroga (the town) want to enter because they get surrounded by Sordik's men. The tower like FFL is in the desert, how would you like to go trudging through the desert with kids and elderly? I think that I should put that in the game! I mean those comments of mine :-)

And you have this out in some form? I'd enjoy at least trying it out.

 - Sure, the game is out, BUT the next version of the game will have a better fleshed out story. Right now it is you follow a storyline without much emphasis on the story. Like you do it, but people don't talk about it.

Like the faceless heroes... I guess that's a virus distributed by FFL anyways... As long as the side characters really are developed it's great. Though that becomes even more vital to have the intelligent AI and side development.

 - I prefer customizability. All of my other games have had strict characters. The side characters get really developed just cause they are talked about and emphasized, like the best characters are Magesto and Samurik. Samurik has his entire family, an army, and a few secrets. Magesto is the focal point, he has his people, those that have died defending his town when he wouldn't help, his king children.

What exactly is Rue's role in relation to Magesto? Is Magesto simply a guard, with Rue as the populace's head?

 - Rue is the unofficial leader. Her husband was killed by the undead army of Sordik. If anything Rue is just pissy at Magesto, and the people follow her like they followed her husband to their death. The men are dead, but not the women, elderly and children.

Like the choices the hero has through the story. Always makes it a bit more interesting without a central personality.

Oh and I will be writing out the plotline for world 2. I have it all set in my head.

Elaboration on Rue, there are notable spoilers

Spoiler for:

I changed things around with Rue a little bit. Now it was her son that was killed. That way I can tie in a family:

 - Rue = mother = Everyone looks to her, because she is wise and had been an original settler with Magesto.
 - Kummir = father = Just morns his son's death.
 - Kumma = son = the dead son of Rue who was just a simple man that the others rallied around to lead them into battle that would defend their town. However, he and the men failed.
 - Kissur = son = known as Sir Kiss of Alefgard (far off home town of the hero), he receives a letter from his mother informing them of the dire need for aide from the hero's home kingdom. Kiss gives the hero a letter to be delivered to his mother in Batroga.

I went back and rewrote and padded some of the dialog to elaborate and put emphasis on the story and characters.

COMMENTS

I will post more, the story twists and turns.

I also want to point out that now the game goes from world to world. So I had to name the worlds. V.8 will be the closing of Bosla (World 1). In the future I will get to Nula (World 2). I have it all plotted out in my head, but this is the basic story.

WORLD PLOTLINE: NULA

On a world covered with a massive blue ocean, there is an angry volcano that demands a sacrifice. The volcano has spoken to the sage of a nearby village and called for a young woman named Cella to be thrown into its mouth.

Unlike the others that had met their demise, Cella fled away from her homeland full of natives and journeyed as far across the world as she could. Her ship was attacked by ruthless pirates that not only took her gold, but took her as well.

Halfway across the blue world is a more civilized land of conquerors that seek to tame the savage islands that speckle the map. The pirates that had taken Cella were defeated and obliterated by the mighty navy of conquerors leaving only her to tell the story.

She taken to the kingdom of Portula and is now kept as a slave. However, the volcano that demands for Cella’s life bellows and rumbles with might that cracks the world!

When the heroes arrive, they are met by the primitive natives and their problem. The volcano demands Cella, but she is held captive by a civilized and advanced society. If the red belly of the volcano is not calmed by Cella, the world will be destroyed along with the heroes.

There is a ticking clock in the span of thirty days that the heroes must cross the world, save Cella and return to feed her to the volcano. The journey will start on foot, traveling through caves under the ocean floor, and they will return by speedy ship when they have Cella. However, the heroes return will be daunted by hostile natives, pirates, conquerors, sea monsters and an angry god that soars amongst the clouds; All in order to either throw Cella into the volcano or stand as one and face its world shattering wrath.

This one's alright... Are you intending to add characters or leave this one as more objective based? I understand this is a rough outline, as mostly it's a premise. The 30-day limit is actually a very good idea. Few games follow through on imminent doom. And just make sure you properly implement it. For instance, it shouldn't become irrelevant or way too difficult. You'll need some method of restoring the game if after 25 days the hero is still in Town 1. There's no need to go make them play through Bosla again.

...Oh and get rid of "world-shattering..." That phrase just makes me cringe for some reason...

This one's alright... Are you intending to add characters or leave this one as more objective based? I understand this is a rough outline, as mostly it's a premise. The 30-day limit is actually a very good idea. Few games follow through on imminent doom. And just make sure you properly implement it. For instance, it shouldn't become irrelevant or way too difficult. You'll need some method of restoring the game if after 25 days the hero is still in Town 1. There's no need to go make them play through Bosla again.

...Oh and get rid of "world-shattering..." That phrase just makes me cringe for some reason...

The player will not have to start over, they will just start at Town 1 of Nubla and go from there. Not starting all over again, but just punnished and forced to start there. Instead of where they were. There are many and more important characters this time. I have an entire storyline plotted out. I will post it:

Like always... spoilers!

Spoiler for:

The world is coming to an end.
The volcano will erupt
Unless the volcano is fed Cealla
She has fled to the north
Dreams of the creature within the volcano

Volcanica is blocked off by guards (immediate death!)
 - Laguna (has Volcano problems)
 - Sea Cave
 - Something Island
 - Malonoha (has conquestedor problems)
 - Conquestedors capture player
 - Player taken to Portugoha
 - Meet Cealla in slavery
 - Better life than being fed to a Volcano
 - Portugoha king wants Garuda's secret of immortality
 - Explain Garuda story
 - That will protect his kingdom from death
 - Networks of Caves to find Garuda
 - Travel to Garuda
 - Garuda sends them back
 - Break out with Cealla
 - Must steal the ship from Portugoha
 - Navy sent into the sea!
 - Cracken is found! Tries to devour them!
 - Smashes the ship instead!
 - End up on an island until ship is fixed
 - Hostile natives of Lacocana
 - Escape the island with Garuda's help
 - Sail to Laguna
 - Canoe across to the volcanic island
 - Enter Volcanica
 - Enter the Volcano
 - Find defenders and guards (of Samurik and Sordik) there!!!
 - Holding a fire demon hostage
 - Chant a spell on fire demon
 - Fire demon turns on them all!
 - Once Fire Demon is defeated, fire demon snaps out of it!
 - Fire demon reveals Cealla is her child, fire demon needed saving
 - Exit the cave of fire one step closer to Samurik / Sordik