I came up with a new story

[okartee]

Hey all, just wanted to post a new story for a game that I came up with, wanted some feedback and some criticizing to help make it better. Anyway,

You play through the game as Dereck Mandan, and you start as a young boy. There are 3 stages in the game, boy, teen, and adult. The main story is apart of Adult, but the other
stages help build up the story. In the beginning, your family is killed by wild animals as part of the villages yearly grand hunt. Left in the wild to fend for yourself, you learn all different skills of combat.
As you become a teen, you return to the village, only to be shunned by the citizens because of your wild nature. You begin to fall in love with the daughter of the mayor, and when some THING attacks the town, you chase after her and it. A major twist happens near this part, and you have to play to find out what happens. Unless you open the spoiler.....

[spoiler]The twist is that the thing is sent from the future, and you stumble into it's portal, suddenly thrust from anything you've previously known. From there on out, you must learn how to live in the new world, and it isn't that easy, considering your used to fighting with bows and swords.[/spoiler]

Anyway, and comments back on what you think or how I could improve it would be awesome 

[bulls84]

Sort of confusing...

[&&&&&&&&&&&&&]

Kinda like samurai jack?

[Leventhan]

Kinda like samurai jack?

I liked that cartoon.

[Late Registration]

I get it your class gets promoted to Teen/Adult as you go through the game

P.s what kind of party would you have in this game like a group of summons with your Protagonist or a Just one character with random party members coming in and out?

[Marzat]

Sort of sound like a mix between 10, 000 BC and Samurai Jack. It also seems simuliar to a game I want to make, but I'm all for it good luch. 

[okartee]

Heh, Samurai Jack was an awesome cartoon, and I did get part of the influence from that. Thanks for the comments though guys.

@ Late Registration: I was thinking meeting people in the future, making them apart of your party after you do certain things, and then have them leave when they've had enough or reached their own goal.

I was also thinking of what to do with the stages of age. For the boy maybe the basic movement elements and how to interact with the world, teen would probably be combat, and Adult will be the main story line.
I may also introduce using shops, buying and selling things, things like that for the Teen.

EDIT 2: I just made a title screen, and I thought up a title for it, check it.

[spoiler][/spoiler]