My current assignment for my writing class is to write a quick story in letter-form. This is what I have so far...
Dear [insert your name here],
Something really weird happened the other day. I was walking back from class one day when I decided to stop in McDonalds for lunch. I was just feeling kinda hungry, and I felt too lazy to cook my own lunch today. So I enter through the main entrance, and the first thing I notice was how unbelievable sticky the floor was. It felt like I was walking on Velcro, with my shoes as the soft-fuzz side and the tan-tiled floor as the hard-hooky side. There was a yellow sign not to far away with a picture of a stick figure sliding on the floor, and the words “CUIDADO PISO MOJADO!” written below it. I’m assuming this was Spanish for “Caution! Wet Floor!”; but oddly enough, there wasn’t any English on it. I guess they just assumed that only Spanish-speaking people wouldn’t be able to tell that there was something wrong with the floor.
Anyways, it was fairly crowded and there were only two lines open. I head to the back of one of them and wait my turn. Waiting isn’t exactly my forte, so I try to pass the try by staring at the people in the other line. Let me tell you, McDonalds always gets the most random people coming there. There was one guy who had a beard so long that at first I thought he was an Amish guy, and there was a woman there who was so friggin’ fat that I was surprised that the floor was able to even support her. Seriously, if she lost some weight, she might possibly be able to go out for Halloween as a planet. Possibly.
There was a big, yellow case full of the Happy Meal toys in the corner. I always found it funny that McDonalds would put two different types of toys in there. The top half was all pink and glittery, and filled with those “Hello Kitty” toys, or whatever the hell they’re called. The bottom half is painted all blue and silver and all these “manly” colors, and filled with some unrecognizable action figures. Welcome to America, where even big franchises like McDonalds are still sexists. At least there was one common factor between the two types of toys: They were both vandalized by a huge, hairy penis that was drawn on the front of the case with permanent marker.
After what seems like forever, I finally get up to the counter and the guy behind the counter says “Hi, welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?”. You know, just for once I’d like them to use a different line than the one they use every time I come there, but that wasn’t the right time to argue about that. I ordered a salad and a sprite, since they were the least likely thing on the menu to kill me with its cholesterol. Death by fatty food doesn’t exactly sound like an appealing headline to me.
Okay, now this is where it gets interesting. The girl serving the other line turns around to get some coffee, when suddenly a fire breaks out in that side area where they’re usually cooking the fries. Mind you, it wasn’t like a big fire or anything, but there was definitely flames in an area that shouldn’t flaming. The girl rushes over to try and put the fire out, spilling the coffee all over the customer with the super-long beard in the other line. The guy starts yelling at the girl in what I think is Italian, and everyone behind me is starting to panic.
The other McDonald employees are running around trying to get everything under control, while this fat guy in a white shirt and tie (whom I assumed to be the manager) starts cursing at them in Spanish. The smoke detector starts going off like crazy, and some little kid somewhere in the line behind me starts screaming at the top of his lungs.
At this point, I'm just like “Fuck this…” and just start heading out of there. Apparently people thought I was evacuating the building, because as soon as soon as I reach the door I notice that almost everyone is following me. If it wasn’t so serious, I’d say that this was the funniest thing that I’d ever seen.
Anyway, I awkwardly led the people outside and start walking back to my apartment. This wasn’t my problem, and I wasn’t about to wait until they put the fire out just so I could eat a salad. Like I said, it was really weird. Well, I hope your week was better than mine was. Hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
[insert random name here]
Not bad, considering I made it in only five minutes. Obviously it needs a bit of work, but what do you guys think?
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