Have you ever?

can't say that I have.

Alright, who here has gotten a hemmorhoid?

uh what?

ever got mad at poeple who kill you when "dueling" on games like WoW?

Heh, nope. If someone challenges you to a duel just like that, chances are they're a PvP all-star or are twinked beyond belief.

Ever throw something like a snowball and accidentally hit some innocent passerby or their shiny new car/truck/whatever?

Yep. hit a pebble with a baseball bat. Perfect ark. Hit at the perfect angle. Hit dead center. Took out the entire back window of an SUV. Punched through and the whole thing just fell down like sheet rain.

Have you ever accidentally stepped on a household pet?

yes alot on my cats tail...

ever had a friend who lived to far from you and you desided to not being friends anymore cuz he/she is alwase offline(at msn,netlog,facebook...) and you coul'd talk or chat to each other?

that's incredibly common, so yes.

have you ever been walking through a wooded area and found a vehicle of some sort? (extra points if it would be impossible to get in, thereby meaning that the forest had to grow around vehicle, making the vehicle rather old)

Actually, yes.  D8  And extra points I get!  I live on a mountain, and there's always been this overturned, nature-consumed, rusted up unidentifiable van in the forest behind my house.  I wonder if it's still there.  >>  /Just moved back. 

Have you ever.....crooned elvis songs to yourself in those lonely, midnight hours?

I really can't say I've ever even remotely considered doing that. o_o

Have you ever taken a poop?

OUTSIDE?

No but I tried. It wouldn't surface. Was camping on the Chase at the time.

Have you ever expelled lovejuice in your undergarments in public?

(Also Arrow, ever been to slacked? Wondering if you're my arrow)

Nope, can't say I have.

I haven't done that before, but I have with help.

I have oh wait nope you didn't post anything.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF SOMETHING HILARIOUS TO POST BUT THEN FORGOTTEN IT AND POSTED SOMETHING ELSE, FEELING FOOLISH?

Why, just this moment!

Have you ever played discus or Frisbee with a pancake or expensive crockery?

Unfortunately, no, but you have given me a new goal in my life. 

Have you ever...  been brutally pelted in the face with a large, hard-covered book? D:

Maths textbooks aren't hard-covered, but our edition of The Deathly Hallows is. I love my brothers.

Have you ever played hammer-throw with a domesticated animal?

Do small children count? If so, then yes.

Have you ever fallen up the stairs, and while on your face, slid back down?

....

Way more times than I would ever admit.

Ever eaten something that smells like shit but is magically delicious?

Usually sour kraut and pork.

Ever snowboard?

I prefer two boards on my feet.

Ever punched a pig in the snout?

does an english bulldog count? If so, then yes.

He was a bastard though... And I didn't so much as punch him in the nose, but rather, attempted to punch him in the nose, but he intercepted with bite, burying my fist in his throat.

Ever fapped to a type of pornography that you would normally call disgusting (like mutilation, tranny, or midget) just because it happened to be on when you were jerking?

...what?

No.

No, I have not.


Ever wanted to be on a tv show then decided against it because you'd be on the air for the world to see?

I don't think anything has ever been televised anywhere.
As for your question, no. Been on national tv several times, loved it.

Have you ever... stroked a wookie?

No but I punched one.


Ever humped your best friend for any reason whatsoever?

I constantly try to freak out my friends... It's kinda my thing... That being said, I have a story to tell.

Me and my friends get together for a week every year during Wintereenmas. Pretty standard, right? Well, we're at Frank's place, and he tells us he has to pick up his sister from work and asks who wants to come. All of us follow him, because we really like making fun of her. It isn't until we're waiting in the parking lot that I notice, and bring the attention of others, that the car is full and Frank's sister is not yet here.

Eventually, we decide that I will sit shotgun with a friend in my lap (because I am large and he is small, meaning the least possible chance of being crushed by another) with the others all sitting in back.

Of course, my friend makes a huge mistake. He says, "this is so gay," and I think/say "You have no idea."

So, the entire way home, I am trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible, breathing on the back of his neck, wrapping my arms around him, and at one point, pelvic thrusting.

My friends all found it hilarious... Except for the one who was sitting on my lap. He didn't talk to me for the rest of that week.

Have you ever been having a bad day (or morning) so to cheer yourself up, you consumed massive amounts of caffeine (that's what I'm doing right now)?

Well, not to cheer me up per se, but to give my brain the boot in the ass it needed to function like I wanted it to. I had a whole pot of Navy coffee brewed by our old dispatcher, Jim Beavers- we called it beaver juice- and by the time it hit me I realized I had WAY too much. I was shaking and sweating, feeling dizzy, had to barf, death would have been a blessing.

Ever wake up feeling like crap and then perform better than when you feel great?

Why yes, the day of my birth, wouldn't you know?

Ever dumped or been dumped on, approaching or shortly after Valentine's day? (I have )